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Mil-dil

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by periamma, Apr 11, 2018.

  1. Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

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    I tolerated n still tolerating my mil n Fil drama the arguments and things they have done n still doing and because I don’t speak back and don’t take a stand all this is affecting my health.. if I did or atleast spoke something back I would be good..
    the mil should know even the dil is human and should act with her good..
    I know how I feel for my kid she will the same to her son and should that differ for my mom bcz she is a mother of a gal..
    If mil can stay nice why would dil go nuts in first place.
    I have the worst inlaws one can ever have
     
    Rosey2018 and periamma like this.
  2. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    Excellent post, @periamma. Thank you for starting a general discussion on this subject and for sharing your views.

    Each succeeding generation enjoys increasing freedom and convenience. The current generation of MILs enjoyed an easier life than their MILs did. Future DILs will enjoy an easier life than current ones do. Progress should be embraced, not envied.

    Mothers should be happy for their children's success; and indeed most mothers are. A narcissistic mother wants her children to give up their lives in order to fulfill her dreams. This is not normal and should not be condoned with the sweeping generalization that "naturally she will be jealous." There is nothing natural about a mother being envious of her family.

    I hope we stop excusing this selfish attitude. Let's encourage future generations to leave the nest and fly high without tethering them to us by emotional blackmail and tantrums.

    Mothers and adult children are meant to support each other, not hold each other back. Each of us is responsible for our own happiness. To expect someone else to sacrifice their happiness for ours is a sure path to sorrow — for both parties.

    So true, Periamma! Unfortunately, some women make impossible demands of their children. It is this very behavior that drives their children away. Abusing a DIL will not make her yearn for her MIL's company.

    I totally agree. MILs/DILs in normal happy families typically do not start threads in IL. The whole world where healthy families carry on without jealousy and abuse is eclipsed by the horror stories here. We have read so much about bad behavior here that we often say "MILs are like that only." Nope, they're not. Most MILs are good human beings who wish their families well.

    We should all treat our families with at least as much courtesy as we would extend to a stranger. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us.

    This.

    Well said, Periamma. :thumbsup:
     
  3. periamma

    periamma IL Hall of Fame

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    @ashwinid01 I agree your views which shows the exact situation on both sides
     
  4. periamma

    periamma IL Hall of Fame

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    @Zxcv Thanks for sharing your views
     
  5. periamma

    periamma IL Hall of Fame

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    @anuyogam1988 well written about the relationship.May God bless your family
     
  6. periamma

    periamma IL Hall of Fame

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    @Deborah thanks for your views.Commands and Demands worsen a good relationship.
     
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  7. periamma

    periamma IL Hall of Fame

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    @Sangeeta85 so sorry for your situation.Thanks for sharing your views
     
  8. periamma

    periamma IL Hall of Fame

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    @Amica Thanks for your lovely response
     
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  9. periamma

    periamma IL Hall of Fame

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  10. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    Very well said @periamma :clap2:. Your DIL’s are indeed lucky to get such understanding MIL and your MIL must be lucky to get you as her DIL ...
    Such MILs do exist . I know one lady who stays alone in Bangalore since few years back her husband passed away and her only son lives with his family in US. She said I can’t force him to come and stay with me , it’s his wish if he wants let him come back . You should never force them .. when she told I was so proud of her . And Every year she visits her son .
     
    Sandycandy, periamma and sindmani like this.

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