Mil Cursing My Younger One Over The Phone

Just to clarify, MIL lives with you and is badmouthing your family to SIL who lives elsewhere?

 

Try to ignore them as much as possible. My grandmother would also comment nonstop about us. Hair is too long, hair is too short, why is she not wearing bindi, don’t let your brother clean the table after eating that is a girl’s job, why can’t the children read and write Tamil, don’t go in the sun so much you already look like a crow…..
You get the picture. And my grandmother lived with us full time. My father tried talking to her many times and then decided to give up. He told my mother just to nod her head and told us to be polite but not take any of her comments to heart. You be confident in how you are raising your children. Your MIL had her turn with her family, now it’s yours. Her insecurities and complexes are not yours.

 

@BeautifulSmile , like Malstrom said, just ignore. Don't feel bad about their words because their stinging words are only because of all the bitterness and jealousy they have in their heads for you. There is no rhyme or reason at all in anything that was said.

Do one thing on priority though. If your daughter wants to talk to you about this incident then guide her how she should handle such situations. If she does not raise this topic herself, then you should talk to her about it yourself. You are her safe adult. The other ladies in this situation are not really her well meaning adults. She should be aware of all this and if at all she has felt bad about anything said, then please train her how to forgive. Be extremely careful not to show her grandma or aunt in bad light as in my humble opinion, we must not let any cynicism crop into her innocent mind. However, no idiot's words should leave no scar on this beautiful young mind. Ever.

 

Anu younger daughter of my office colleague had her maternal and paternal grand mas at home. Grandma F was outgoing smart modern like going shopping picnicking hobnobbing and very social. She is amiable and almost entire colony is her friend. Grandma M was very orthodox love bhajan chants and bit introvert reserved shy etc. While F would encourage Anu to wear modern dress high heels sandals and watch movies and channels whereas M would advise Anu all the time about dress and hairstyle only in traditional manner. Anu ignored F and would at the drop of a hat exit with M to outdoor activity. This lead to verbal wrangles and altercations between F & M.
I noticed Anu played it safe while her grandmas engaged in quarrel. Neither of Anu's parents would interfere when grandmas abuse each other except when their decibel goes high that disturbs their neighbour. F used to command and instructive while M always suggestive. Anu's parents knew they cant side with F or M. Almost two decades passed. I met Anu with her kids. I asked her about her two grannies. She said both are living together in a senior citizen home. She is happy with her Mil while her mom too residing with her. Life is like that.

 

It’s a rare mil who doesn’t berate the daughter in law or anything related to DIL to her daughter …. Accept them and their nature to bickering as part of life and let them bicker… it’s just their opinion!!! Not a fact! You know yourself, you know the facts! stop caring about what your mil talks …