MIL and SIL from HELL!

I lived in India for 2 yrs before moving to London. I have the control in London. (except for DHs mood swings after talkign to her)

Ear piercing thing: can you imagine this? When DD was 11-12 months old, MIL offered to watch the baby while we went out shopping. Nice I knew they were upto somehting...She and SIL suddenly felt it was high time ear piercing was done, they called the piercing-guy home and tried to do it. DD was crying uncontrolably...so FIL asked them to postpone the plan. It didnt happen. But the thing is, we were not even told !!

and the mistake i've been unknowingly making was to give power to her words. She is such an influence on DH that sometimes she IS powerful. She once told me 'I can brainwash him into doing anything I want him to do'. She has full control over her family all the time. Finances, relatives, children, investments, everything. FIL doesnt say a word. She is perhaps very insecure about this sudden loss of control over DH...

 

Fights and arguments - she listens to them by default. Blame it on volume or anything.

Even normal conversations, she is upto date on things.

One I caught her red-handed listening to our phone conversation. (I was at my moms place since I was kicked out by MIL. DH and I were talking on the phone. There was something that she didnt agree and she made the mistake of talking on the go. DH simply said 'mom please put the phone down'...from then on, I call only on DHs mobile whenever he is there. DH never asked her why she had to do that) . Once during our arguement, I was conscious of someone at the bedroom door. I opened it suddenly and MIL was around. She said she came to check if the balcony door was closed. At 1 inthe night???

 

Whatever !!! I am extremely worried about my upcoming India trip. Dh will be there for a week and I know, she will create a distance of 1000 miles between us in that time. She smartly kicked me out of the house with some silly reason so that she can have DH alone with her. Absolutely favourable environment for brainwashing...

I am desp waiting for SIL to get married. Every coin has 2 sides!! I want to see how she handles her inlaws and esp how my MIL handles them. SIL and MIL just want a faithful rich doggie for a daamad. Hope they get one!!

And talkign about 'rich' , MIL thinks they are richer than most of their relatives. I dont care. She spends money like water. I dont care. Her money her wish. BUT, DH and I work hard for what we get. She is never happy with our gifts. On one mothers day, I suggested we surprise her with a silk saree. DH and I bought her one with INR 3500. She was NOT happy !! I saw the disappointment on her face...
Also, she told DH to give SIL 25k on her bday... by all means 25k is a lot of money. In my family, we give such amounts for weddings etc. (this 25k apart from the gifts she wants from UK)

I dont care how much money she has or what she does with it. But when it comes to gifts, I believe, its upon the giver. and I have no clue how this gets into her head.

...................and DH just nodded and transferred the amount to SIL...without telling me a word about it !!

 

OMG! When I read about problems here, my problems seem so small. Some MILs are devils!! Mine is better than soem here, but she gives enough CRAP. She shouts only once in a while....(rest of the time, she injects poison into DH and he does the shouting for her)...

I dont understand this: Isnt it basic common sense that DH will be unhappy if I am hurt and sad? Not that I want them to think DH loves me and all, but if 2 ppl are living under 1 roof, if 1 is sad because she is not treated well, how can the other be happy? Can you see your room mate unhappy????

Also, I am as educated as DH, I have a career and I am no way inferior to him. My parents treat DH with a lot of respect. They dont interfere in our matters at all. My mom gives suggestions, but we are always free to take or leave them. I DONT UNDERSTAND what makes inlaws feel DIL is inferior. Infact my SIL has severe inferiority complex. MIL tries a lot to cover it up my talking crap about me, making me cry etc. The SIL b**** also had the guts to crack jokes at me. I took it for 2 yrs, and once, when I returned a joke to her (SIL), it became such a big issue!! Whoa!! Talk about being nasty people!! I told MIL clearly that day that if SIL is not prepared to hear such things, she should not be saying them to me! :thumbsup

I have a 2yr old baby girl and MIL once told me that even the baby will grow up to be under her control like DH...WTF???? Hello !!! We plan to have another child in 2-3 yrs from now. If at all, I have a boy, I am SURE i'll let him live his life. I have no reason to ruin his life for the sake of my ego... MIL doesnt get it. She loves DH a lot. When will she understand that by making my life miserable, she is spoiling our relationship because that will surely create differences between DH and me! and that DH will also suffer??? :bonk

I was headover heels in love with DH. Infact, I call my Inlaws 'Mom and Dad'. Because, that is what I intended them to be for me. I never treated them any differently from my parents. I must admit that I lost that 'feeling' I had for DH. We are fine, but the spark is gone. If we fight 10 times a month, 9 times its because of my MIL.... After moving to London, MILs interference has drastically reduced. BUT, cant say. May be I am over causious. I perhaps need somemore time to convince myself that MIL-control days are over.

I dont mind if they visit us and I'll be ok to let her take some control for those 15-20 days in return for letting me live my life for the rest of the year. (DH is such a different person when his mom is around! He can do anything to please her. Jerk)

Peace.