MIL and her Blind Faith in Astrolgers

i know what it means
but i should tell you this
even before i started ttc as soon as the thought came i was listening to grabharakshambiga and some other verses
heading says its to beget children for people who dont have..or have been trying hard to get one it doesnt mean who cant concive
may be your mil really wants a grand baby for her but i knwo she is imposing her decision on you but keep your cool you and dh know the fact
astrology and horoscope matters but not in everyway
dont fight for simple things and ruien you happiness dear

 

tuliplady,

That generation women, getting married at early age and having more and more children and bearing in-laws and every one at home. I think they would have done everything with some kind of belief on something otherwise it would leave them in extremely stressed. I think because of the stress and everything that generation women would spend more time religiously to get strength to run the family.

So here we can't change your MIL behavior.

Again for women pregnancy is and young children are tremendous stress.
Before my children, I never scared of anything. Even in India, I would never scare to travel in night alone. But after children, I have become very sensitive and worried time to time just because my children are small.

So pregnancy is real stress especially on you compared to your husband.

Suppose if you able to get pregnant with out any issue then it's well and good but suppose if it takes more time then it will leave in more worry.

What about other pages? Are they just slokas? Leave the stuff which written in first page. if they are just slokas then read it to have peace of mind .Otherwise eventually you will end up in more stress by not reading that book.

I know these things will influence even though you are not indent to do it.

Coming to your fight, I think you would have taken your husband word seriously just because you might be under stress. Your husband might have said without much intension. So don’t take it very seriously. You don’t have to prove anything to your husband because you know what you are.

Anyhow, if they are just slokas then read the book and it will give some peace of mind especially in your situation.

But only my concern,you don't know what other things on the way though.

 

Maybe your husband just meant that it doesn't make sense to listen to a third, outsider party when it comes to something so personal as planning a pregnancy. And, HE'S RIGHT. When it comes to baby making that should be between you and your dh... anybody else IS a stranger in that regard. You made a big issue out of his OPINION, which wasn't fair on your part. Probably he didn't like what his mom did either, same as you. And when he tried to support you, you got mad. :idontgetit:

Horoscopes are a farce to get people's money and give superstitious people some hope that they have control over their lives. Think about this... even a broken clock is right twice a day. So sometimes astrologers will be right, and other times they'll be wrong. But either way, it doesn't mean they have future predicting abilities. If you are having some fear of being infertile or whatever, go to a doctor and get your fears put to rest.

 

Tulip, lots of women from the older generation have no understanding of science or how reproduction works. I remember when the eclipse happened last year, news reports were that some orthodox pregnant women in India went hiding inside because they feared the 'moon dragon' would kill their baby in the womb. :bonk So just because somebody else works themselves up into a superstitious frenzy, don't let it affect YOU. Follow your doctor's orders, eat well, exercise, think positive, pray to God... probably you will become pregnant in due time, just a matter of waiting. Good luck! :thumbsup

 

tuliplady,

Don't expect your MIL to be so sensitive.They might have faced all these so for them these things don't look very sensitive.

My MIL would tell me somethings and you won't imagine.One day I told her,Sorry I don't like to hear those things and then she stopped.

So they already end of there world and for them these things won't be sensitive.tell her,you can't read sanskrit and ask her to send in your language.That way you won't be in any guilt.

I know lot of couple would take longer than what you expect like in one month.One month is not a practical zone for concenving.So keep your expecations low and don't keep stress.

 

My dh simply asked me to not read that book and further told me that 'Why do you want to listen to strangers. Just ignore her".

Tuliplady,This statement tells a lot about you. You have your husband's support and he doesnt come into any emotional talk. That is something of a HUGE plus point for you.
First of all your husband is right. It is you and him who has to decide about a baby and not his mom or the astrologer . IL's take great pleasure in putting any pressure on son/dil's. Be it in the form of astrological input or ranting about how to run our families here. You are not alone . My FIL's only motive in life is to keep telling us how to run our family here or tell my husband on how he is in a problem becoz of my horosope. All his mails/ phone calls have to include this and telling me to tell some mantras.Imagine 7 yrs of marriage and mails and /or fone calls (Every week!!)with telling me to tell whats wrong with my horoscope and how my time is bad and till how long. How I shud remove the effect by telling some mantras .!!:bonk:bonk.
The solution is to ignore it . You need to be calm and relaxed in all ways if you are TTC. Dont worry too much about what your MIL says. You yourself mentioned you had a check up done already. If everything is normal, you can expect to start a family any time soon. Relax yourself and enjoy the fact that your husband is also not putting pressure to do what your MIL says. Which happens with some women most of the time!!.Good Luck.

 

Tuliplady,

I really have this NEED to tell you this story. Please read on.

One of my relatives is married for 15yrs now. She tried TTC since a couple of years after marriage or immediately after marriage.....I am not sure.
Anyway, She did not conceive till last year when they celebrated 15th wedding anniversary. Celebration?? Why?? bcos she was 6months pregnant too!!! And this year she will not be called in your language as you mentioned 'vanjh' or 'Barren' again.
There is no religious place that she has not visited and there is no puja/daan that she has not done. She had seen most of the popular astrologers and spent thousands of rupees but all in vain. She even went through some fertility treatments and spent a huge amount on each visit.
No result even then. One time someone advised her to go see some doctor in another place and when that doctor saw her he said there is some minor correction that needed to be done in her inner reproductive parts and it was infact a minor surgery with one day bedrest and thats it next month she conceived!! See the loss of time and energy and money all these years!! And people branding her barren too.

When she finally analysed the whole thing over so many years she told me that all her thinking was diverted mostly to performing some or the other ritual and did not actually do much research in the clinical side of her problem. She told me instead of worrying and feeling humiliated I should have ignored all those comments and diverted my attention in contacting top experts in this field and surely then I would have come across this doctor whom I met. It was sheer luck that my colleague referred this doctor to me when I told her I cannnot attend some religious ceremony in their house which is for kids since I am barren and not allowed to. Infact this coworker of mine felt embarrased more than me since I have already accepted the fact I am indeed barren and compromised living my life as childless. That coworker immediately started her extensive research and enquiries and came up with this gynec's name who is supposedly the leading expert in India in this field. She even told me she would accompany me since it was out of town. I told her I gave up. But she kept on insisting and finally I thought 'OK let me give this a try too'. And see.......I have this bundle of joy here!!!
She told me she spent more time and money on astrology and other stuff than on doctors. She went out of town to visit some religious place and not to see any doctor. She compromised with the knowledge of the gynec she had at her place only.

Ok tuliplady you might be thinking why did I tell you all this. Because, first and formost I do not want you to give up. After your result came negative first time you seem to lose hope.
And I don't want you to assume you are vanjh because you are not!!! It was voluntarily that you did not TTC these years. And moreover give it some time. It will happen. Don't just resign to fate always. You can perform puja or any ritual. But performing pujas and prayers should be to ask GOD to give you faith in yourself and HIM and ask him to give you strength in your endeavour and help you see things POSITIVELY.
Positive attitude is of utmost importance when you TTC.
What your hubby meant is 'Do not lose hope'. Don't just believe something blindly.

Don't misunderstand him and make life a mess. You and your dh need to have peace and positive attitude so that you conceive.
Conceiving has a lot to do with our psychology,emotions as much as it has to do with physical health. So, take care of your health and keep yourself busy and stop thinking about the negative things.

All will be fine and god bless you! Pretty soon we will hear good news!

Tara