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MIL acting like premier guest after coming from co-sis home?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Reesha, May 2, 2015.

  1. Reesha

    Reesha Silver IL'ite

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    hi ladies,


    1 week ago my MIL came back to my home after staying with 1 month in her elder son home. I have observed change in her behaviour that, she is not at intrest to take any work at home along with me like previously. previously at least she is doing works occasionally, like arranging kids toys, cleaning mirrors & having an aye on kitchen grocery items so on...

    but now she behaving like a lord, Not at all mixing in family works as a family members.

    this is not new, when ever they come from their elder son home,...they behave like guests for several months. then slowly they will mingled. but later again they moved to elder son house for any purpose, again their behaviour changed.

    it irritates me alot...If In-laws having two sons means...are they guests to both sons house every time? cant they act as close family members for ever? A DIL hould bare their guest appearance in her family for life long?
     
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  2. Keet

    Keet Silver IL'ite

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    OP, how many MIL's you have? Just couple of weeks back they were getting ready for their next yearly visit to cosister's place. And this week they are already returned from cosister's place a week back after a month long stay???
     
  3. Reesha

    Reesha Silver IL'ite

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    YES...i have only one MIL. she is moving here & there... when she moved from my /home...they said they may not come. i dont now what happened there...first my FIL came back after 1 week...then MIL came back after 1 month.we didnt ask why they returned? just accepted their arrival because their presence at home is happy news to us.
     
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  4. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Let them rest OP.
    You want them to supervise the nanny with childcare...just concentrate on getting them to do that.That will be the biggest help to you. Get the maid to do the other stuff you expect from them.It is better they help properly with the supervising rather than try to do a bit of this and a bit of that.

    You want them to stay? Let them stay on their terms as long as they keep an eye on your child and you can go to work peacefully.There is no price for that peace.Enjoy their stay OP...and hope it is for longer this time.
     
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  5. abla

    abla Gold IL'ite

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    Too sweet to spit , too bitter to swallow ?
     
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  6. Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

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    OP it requires some time to to get used to place of living.Once they accept your place as their home they will start participating in task.
     
  7. Reesha

    Reesha Silver IL'ite

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    May be you didnt gone through my previous posts. That is original problem with them. every year they used to change in b/w elder son home & younger son home. So every year they are taking at least 3-4 months to get used with things at home. but recently they have started roaming in between two sons home often 6 months. so for every three months they appeared as new guests for long 2 months atleast & enjoying services as guests. due to this I am not able feel myself they are my family members & not able to believe/hope on them for any thing at home.
    Eg: I cant hope on MIL that she will be at home through out the year to care child during absence of care taker for at least 1 hour. so i cant be peace full & need to search for immediate alternative when she is not with us.

    main thing it made us very uneasy whether how to treat them as guests/ family members/ others(neglecting manner).

     
  8. Joyoflife

    Joyoflife Gold IL'ite

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    What's the big deal. You carry on with your life the way you normally do, let them feel the way they want to feel. May be they start to get bored at one place for long so they are coming and going often. I do not think that s a very big issue. Regarding their duties at your home, leave it up to them if they want to help you out with something it's upto them even otherwise I think you have a few part time helpers at home.
     
  9. coolgal123

    coolgal123 Platinum IL'ite

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    u r expecting ur parents in law to become full time care taker/oberserver of caretaker of your child...which they are not doing as they have other son also...hence you are having these problems...
    stop expecting anything and make arragement for ur kid like u will make in their absence and keep them same in their presence...
    if u dont need them for ur kid than wht wuld u like?? 1. living with u forever 2. shuttling b/w u n ur co-sis??
     
  10. abla

    abla Gold IL'ite

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    Kind of sad ! Don't they have a home of their own ? Or do they prefer living with their sons 50/50 ?
     

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