Middle School Parenting

C00lhoney · Apr 30, 2025

Hi Parents,
I wanted to share something that’s been on my mind and its really hurting. My daughter has been having a tough time making close friends at school. She transferred from a different school two years ago, and many of the kids here have known each other since elementary school. Unfortunately, she still feels like an outsider and is often left out—especially during lunch and group activities.
That said, she keeps trying—always putting in the effort to talk to new girls and build friendships. While some are kind in conversation, she hasn't yet found someone to call a close or best friend. She longs for that bond and really tries to nurture the connections she makes. It’s heartbreaking to see her excluded, like during the recent music concert when the other kids gathered for photos and went out together, leaving her behind.
I’ve also tried to help her by inviting some of the kids to movies or outings, hoping it might help them bond. But it often feels like the kids prefer to stick with their longtime friends.
If any of you have suggestions or ideas that might help her feel more included, I’d truly appreciate it.

lavani · Apr 30, 2025

my daughter went through the same process in middle school. also same reasons as she had to switch schools. now she is in college . if i recall and say. i would advise you not to worry too much. by high school there is again switch in maturity and kids switch or add new friends.

some things she can do to help in long run. join clubs she likes and increase her network. my daughter had a great time in the choir club in high school .
focus well on health and academics. slowly kids bond with well groomed kids again in high school.

most import , you as parent do not over do. let her figure out, this is never ending thing, even you as a person go through this of finding people to connect to.

EagerForInfo · May 11, 2025

C00lhoney said: ↑

Hi Parents,
I wanted to share something that’s been on my mind and its really hurting. My daughter has been having a tough time making close friends at school. She transferred from a different school two years ago, and many of the kids here have known each other since elementary school. Unfortunately, she still feels like an outsider and is often left out—especially during lunch and group activities.
That said, she keeps trying—always putting in the effort to talk to new girls and build friendships. While some are kind in conversation, she hasn't yet found someone to call a close or best friend. She longs for that bond and really tries to nurture the connections she makes. It’s heartbreaking to see her excluded, like during the recent music concert when the other kids gathered for photos and went out together, leaving her behind.
I’ve also tried to help her by inviting some of the kids to movies or outings, hoping it might help them bond. But it often feels like the kids prefer to stick with their longtime friends.
If any of you have suggestions or ideas that might help her feel more included, I’d truly appreciate it.
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I am assuming you are referring to middle school in the US. You are lucky. The fact that she is not able to make friends is good for you. Middle school is awful and I noticed my daughter who is friendly and has made a lot of friends has turned "bad" after starting middle school. It is definitely due to the friends she is making in middle school. You should hear the way she talks! Your child is just demonstrating that she is good and as a result not able to mingle with the utter useless and bad kids in middle school. Please let her stay that way. If you want to, you can have her hang out with other family members or kids out of middle school, who you can check out and make sure are good kids. You are worrying about something you should be happy about. I wish my daughter was that way too.

Ashriyas · May 12, 2025

Your daughter sounds like a genuinely kind and emotionally intelligent kid, and that will pay off in the long run, even if it’s tough right now. You’re doing all the right things by creating opportunities for her and being a steady presence. Sometimes all it takes is one shared interest or club to spark the right connection. Encourage her to stick with her passions, whether it's music, art, robotics, whatever gives her joy and confidence. Those are often the places where true friendships begin, especially once the social pressure of cliques starts to fade with time.