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Mid-Life crisis- is it a myth?

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by rmalathi, Dec 16, 2011.

  1. rmalathi

    rmalathi Senior IL'ite

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    Is it true? Is there something called mid-life crisis? I remember laughing at it some years ago:biglaugh!

    Time has its own way of turning things around and here I am; at the threshold of life - ok, call it mid-life crisis if you will. How did I get here you ask! Well, it was by choice.

    I am a mother of 2 kids and held a high paying job till recently. While I was working, I would eagerly look forward to the days when I would quit and be a stay at home mom. And when I actually did it, I swore never to return to the big, bad corporate world. Was I thrilled and happy! Sure, the mother in me is very happy taking care of the kids and the home. I have all the time in the world to pursue my hobbies and shed all those extra kilos gained over time. No more morning rush and a million things to do in a day!!!!

    But sigh! I do miss all these things occasionally, but more than anything I have put my talent and potential to sleep and I dearly miss the monthly paycheck. I am clueless if this is what I really wanted. I get a million ideas everyday - to start something new or become a freelancer, a teacher, a special educator.... go back to working; the list is endless.

    Now I know why its called a mid-life crisis - hope God will help me get thru this victorious!!
     
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  2. vijier

    vijier New IL'ite

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    hi malathy, I can understand your mindset ..because I am a working mother of two..and really want to give up my job at some point and love to take care of my kids. But, the thought of spending time at home alone..when the kids are out at the school and putting my computer skills to rest....and ofcourse the pay checks really makes me think twice and am not able to make a decision. When I really find it hectic at work..and when I cant spend time with my kids due to work pressure, the thought of giving up work..is more intense. but, when all the pressure is off..and when I sit back and think of what I would do..after leaving work,...I am really confused!
    But, above all, I think you have made the rite choice..as kids will get all your attention and love and that is what really matters. I think over a period of time, you will come over all these thoughts.
    I really hope I make my decision sooner..
     
  3. mssunitha2001

    mssunitha2001 IL Hall of Fame

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    Me too sailing in the same boat....!!!!!!! I resigned my wonderful job 4 years ago but I still miss my job sometimes...

    On the other side.. I am guilt free when I am there at home when kids return home tired and hungry. Very truly said that We have to sacrifice one to get another...
     
  4. ILoveTulips

    ILoveTulips IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Malathi,

    I understand your point from a Working-woman-turned-to-Home-Maker perspective. I was once in that stage and as you said it was grass is greener the other side situation.

    But I couldn't understand why it is linked to Mid Life crisis? Could you please add your views?

    I liked the way you listed what we gain and miss being a home maker. Good to read..

    ILT
     
  5. vchelluri

    vchelluri Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Malathi,
    I think every woman goes through this phase of life at least at one point or the other point of her life.
    I too used to feel the same while was working before and now being at home, though enjoying my life with kids a lot, still feel missing out my career life sometimes but trying to balance my emotions and keep my life balanced.

    What I learnt is not to think much of the thing which is not in our hands and only to enjoy the moment in our hands to the peak.

    Regards,
    latha.
     
  6. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    In the western civilization, everything in life is about monetizing the talents of the individual. That is why we call them land of opportunity. They talk about work/life balance but in the mind, the pursuit of career is a priority. I am not trying to over simplify life by any means. Money is important but how much is enough? We never find the answer to this question. Personally, in life, I would prefer what would provide me a sanse of fulfillment and happiness. If that comes by being a mother so be it. If it comes through pursuit of career, so be it. If that comes through pursuing both so be it. But it should be chosen with no regrets when we look back years later. Unfortunately choices are not black and white and they are gray. We are sacrificing one or the other constantly. The choice made by our heart will prevail the test of time.
     
  7. ktpreethi

    ktpreethi New IL'ite

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    I too am a stay at home mum now.There was a time when mornings were a blur and the only important thing was to get through the day without any major problems. Those days are a blur now and God!! i do miss them. It was fine when the kids were young .now they are grown up and love to" leave me alone". Hobbies are fine but somehow they cannot replace the joy of knowing i contributed to the family income.Anyway thats the way it is and the only option is to grin and bear it and keep myself occupied.thats what im doing now.this is my entry post on indus ladies.
     
  8. mssunitha2001

    mssunitha2001 IL Hall of Fame

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    Very Well said preethi....!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  9. rmalathi

    rmalathi Senior IL'ite

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    @ILT - I call it mid-life crisis b'cos I have grown up kids - meaning they don't need my constant attention. And if I do want to go back to work sometime, the employer might think I am too old for the job. I consider myself only 21 though!! hee hee!!!
    Like Preethi has mentioned hobbies to keep myself busy are fine but there is something lacking which is what I am trying to figure out. This was my conscious choice and am completely happy with it but yet....
     

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