Men Are From Mars, Women From Venus

I wake up in the morning, make as little noise as possible and slip out of the house to go to work. At night, I don't even know when the BH comes back. He tries to make as little noise as possible (he is not always successful ), helps himself to dinner and goes to sleep whenever he feels like. We don't meet each other - sometimes for 2-3 days at a time. Our conversations on phone are about whether the Woman Friday came, what she did, whether food needs to be swiggyed because Lady Anatole is away on long leave and so on. Do I get frustrated? You bet. It leaves me wondering sometimes what kind of life I signed up for. When I am at home, I live in my splendid isolation with my laptop. Most times I am fine - except sometimes like last evening when I wanted to go out and visit friends. Whom do I visit? The first people whom I'd have dropped in on without asking and spent a couple of hours over a cuppa are already in another dimension where I can never visit them. And the tears flowed ..... something that rarely happens, no matter how much the pain ..... Tears that I think have deserted me.

It's raining outside. The Bangalore thunderstorm is at work. I have to go to class in the evening. I get a call. "What time do you have to go to work?" This is the fifth time I am answering this question since morning. Today is one of those days when I have an evening class. So got an opportunity to have this conversation 5 times since morning. "Now why does he ask me that again?" I wonder. BH is on his way to work. I don't ask him for his reason though. I just repeat my answer. Maybe I have learned to be patient!!! No, not that kind of 'patient' to the doc. The explanation comes "I am stuck in bad traffic. It is raining. How are you going to work? You might find it hard to find a cab/autorickshaw in this rain. So better ensure you leave early so you make it on time." "So sweet" I think. He still cares! I might not have thought to call back and ask if the roles were reversed. Or would I???

Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. But heck, they both are human!

 

That is so comforting to know, Viswa. Often in the lack of sufficient communication, when 'real' life has a way of ensuring one does not have the time to let down one's hair, one does start doubting. At such times, a small deed like this is truly reassuring.

 

So true, Joy, I often get exasperated at this person who only views life as a big responsibility. I fought it, then I decided to get on with my daily existence, I learnt not to let it affect me. As one grows older, such little gestures certainly make a huge difference. Mars and Venus seem to merge into one planet - Earth - all inhabitants of which are the same - just human.

 

Thanks so much for the lovely response Geeta. I don't know if it was the rains. Well, it was not impossible with the cuckoo singing and making it the most beautiful afternoon - cool, cloudy, relaxed - that I have enjoyed in a long while. And coming as all this did after last evening's low, it was all the more surprising and mood lifting.

Your appreciation itself is like getting a prize! Thanks a lot for the kind thought.

 

Yes, Shyamala, talking of all being human, I don't mean it only in the sense of our foibles. Of late whenever I tried to introspect whether I feel like a 'female' or a 'male' inside my head, I can't imagine feeling anyway else, no matter what chromosomes my DNA contains. That has woken me up to the fact that gender is purely a biological construct while the mind and soul are genderless. Other than the physical differences, the 'male' or 'female' side of a person's nature are definitions imposed by human beings. Who is to say whether a certain aspect is masculine or feminine? Each of us has these in varying proportions irrespective of the physical gender. The positives and negatives of each aspect are human, not masculine or feminine. That is how far I have got with unravelling certain knotty mysteries in my brain. Have to sit back and think some more to see what my mind will come up with next!!!