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Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by iyerviji, Jan 23, 2022.

  1. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Marriage is not a ritual or an end. Its a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.

    I was a good friend to my husband. I have tried to make my marriage vows mean what they say. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh.

    I cant believe that tomorrow we would have completed 49 years of married life if he was there. Now I can sit and think of all the years spent together especially during retired life
    You dont need to be on the same wavelength to succeed in marriage. You just need to be able to ride each others waves.

    The above quote is so true. Me and my husband were different in many respects but we completed each other. Only after living with him for many years I understood him fully. Learnt from him that living a simple life gives happiness. I have been respecting him and his thoughts . In the beginning I used to feel we are not a goodmatch but as I grew understood him very well and always do whatever he likes.

    Though he is no more he is always with me and guiding me
    SCA, shravs3, indubalram and 7 others like this.

  2. Caide

    Caide IL Hall of Fame

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    True and I like to add "love towards them" at the end of this sentence maami. I can relate this with me,my mom and my mil. We three really are lucky ones that we got such good husbands.

    I must say ,I always wanted to create a good thread about my DH and Dhs in our family. As it would have been a big thread and lots to say I have stopped that thought. I loved to see this thread of yours.

    Me and my husband are good friends too maami. Your post reminded me of how we became friends first then to become couple after our arranged marriage. Though I don't know abt marriage vows , I know that both of us will be there for each other. Though my father ,he is no more, till then he took care of mom as she really is his charm and till his last breath he cherished and treasured her. My mom does the same. My in-laws though i have spent less time with them , the understanding is tremendous.

    I am not saying it in bad way maami but When I think of your 48 years, me in my 2 years of relationship is a long way to go. Your post, my mom and my in laws are what is showing us to move into the path of long sustainable relationship. My mom is also spending her time cherishing their memories. She miss him but my sis's son is keeping her occupied.

    It still is your 49th year maami. I know what you are mean by that but still as you said he is within you maami and with you , guiding you same as my father guiding me through within.
    Its hard to digest but still after all his fight to take care of us and family, he passed with less pain and resting somewhere good( in my memories too) is what I can think of and accept this situation as it is

    As true to the quote and yours, everyone has unique characters. But it's the desire and willingness to keep hold of ,to accept,to adjust, to understand, to love who really we are and to move on with it is what marriage is all about. I am kind of going on with my life with that.

    Thank you maami for sharing us your memories. It remind me of where I started, my mom and my mil.

    As I always say, your every post shows how you really love mama. He is with you and he will guide you
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2022
  3. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Vijiakka,

    He was a legend in how to lead an ideal and purposeful life and there is so much to learn from his illustrious life. His memories will always be with you no matter what and I am sure he is always looking after your well-being wherever he is.

    Marriage is not the only but the most important life lesson that teaches us how to be interdependent and how to care and share. A good couple learn from each other and emulate each others great qualities. They learn to ignore the shortcomings of each other. Both understand how to accept each other as is as opposed to trying to change one another. They have healthy discussions, listen to each other carefully and implement whatever brings happiness to their lives.

    There will be misunderstandings along the way but they learn how to resolve them with true love. They fight with each other only to learn how to get together again with deep resolve bringing intensity to their relationship. It is not about who added more value to others life but how much they have progressed together and how they raised their children.
    Caide, SuiDhaaga and joylokhi like this.

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