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Me & My Spouse

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by prabha34, Feb 21, 2008.

  1. prabha34

    prabha34 New IL'ite

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    i am very disturbed with my husband's attitude..
    everyone knows i have habbit of forgetting words and i did the same thing today while talking to my hubby...i used "Addu" in tamil..and he got irritated...(people who don't know tamil (aadu means this and that)knowing that i am not feeling well ..and said "what is the word...how will i know...there are lot of suspense when you talk..."

    i thought in 9 years of marriage my husband would have understood me...but i guess not..i have body ache sore throat and fever and he gets irritated in me..
    secondly...
    he had picked up my little one from babysitter and had forgotten the bottle and baby diaper bag so i asked him to get it...he got irritated by that too..here my little one is yelling with not eating...so came toknow may be she is tired since she was with baby sitter whole day..can i eat first or do you need now in very irritated voice..and yelling at divya when she drops things on the floor

    the third situation...

    when he kept a half glass of water near divya he was bending down and picking up another glass of my little one so that i can give her water in that...
    i said this water could spill now..and she can get wet..( i wanted to finish my sentence) before that he said will the earthquake will come if it spill

    i think i don't have attitude like anyone ..can't take these thing jokingingly whenhe yells and talks..

    i don't know what to do and how to handle the situation when i have flu...
    there are my friends who don't take these kind of things seriously...

    yelling at baby who is 15 months old is not right...
    especially when she is very sleepy

    please help

    any suggestions

    there are lot more to this but i am not feeling well

    what should i do

    one more thing is i am indian wife...as a nature i never went to work....got two girls ...and bought a house recently (probably 2 years) and situation has been really bad where i wanted to walk out...but i am thinking about custody and all and divorce and seperation and all i don't want it because of 2 little kids

    please any other suggestion

    :help

    Please do not give out email id in public
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 21, 2008
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  2. kavya007

    kavya007 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi,

    Even sometimes I get into situations like this with my husband. When both husband and wife are tired and stressed out such flimsy situations easily lead to arguments. Children are very demanding and they really test our patience sometimes. Added to that if they do not sleep well during the night we get even more tired. No point in analyzing such situations. It is just a weakness of human nature.

    Try to analyze the stress level in your house. Try to make changes to your lifestyle. Take a vacation. One point in time I was really stressed. I would also get very upset about issues at home and constantly think about separation, divorce, custody issues etc. I would feel very sad all the time. I took the Art of Living course in Dec 2007 and I regularly practice their signature method the Sudarshan kriya. Over a short period of time I noticed my thought patterns changing in a postive manner. My tolerance increased. People starting telling me that I look more fresh. Both me and my husband are seeing lot of benefits because of the practice. Yoga might also help. You need some method to de-stress and relax. So take charge today. Don't worry many of us have seen the same problems in life. Hope this helps.

    Thanks,
    Kavya
     
  3. Girlfriend

    Girlfriend New IL'ite

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    Hi Prabha,

    May be by the time you are reading this mail, you are already settled down. Amen.

    This kind of things happens when both of you are stressed and tired. Situations becomes worse when you are not feeling well.

    I think you are working. Try to take day or two off. And, just relax. It will work like a wonder.

    Cheers
    Parul
     
  4. indianflower

    indianflower New IL'ite

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    Hi Prabha,

    As all my other sisters mentioned these kind of misunderstandings happen when both are under stress and happens in most of the households. The incidents that you have mentioned are very light and should not be taken to heart that easily. When you are mad at your husband about something just walk away and do something you like and that may help you to get past whatever he said at a certain time. Don't keep thinking about the things that he says, that may never heal the pain. Why don't you think this way that he may have had a bad day at work or other things going thru his mind when he says certain things in a tone that may be hurtful to you. I would just advice not to express your views at a time when you are angry. You need to cool off before you talk with your husband about how hurtful his tone or language was to you. I hope and pray everything will be OK with you.
     
  5. prabha34

    prabha34 New IL'ite

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    Thanks Kavya
    Thanks for your advice..

    Where did you take the class "Arts of living"? How can I take that class?
     
  6. Dreams

    Dreams Junior IL'ite

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  7. roopadadia

    roopadadia Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Prabha,

    Just popped in to find out how you are doing. Hope things are improving at your end.

    Warm regards
    Roopa.
     

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