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Marrying An Indian Army Jawan

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by InduSanskriti, Jan 23, 2017.

  1. InduSanskriti

    InduSanskriti New IL'ite

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    My friend, a post-graduate teacher, has accepted a marriage proposal from a high-school pass army jawan who she got acquainted on a matrimonial website. The marriage has been fixed by families on both sides and will take place shortly. She will be living with her in-laws until he gets retirement after 12 years. When I tried to express my misgivings about what I thought was a mismatch I was accused of being jealous. Am I being unduly worried? What are the pitfalls and positives in such an alliance?
     
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  2. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    Jealous ? why is that ? If someone had accused you of sticking your nose where it does not belong, that would be understandable; but, jealous ? Is he the handsomest jawan ever ? I am thinking of the scene from "Mein Hoon Nah" and so on....
     
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  3. sumzaya

    sumzaya Gold IL'ite

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    Nope ths is not jealousy.. just a concern.. if ur frnd has been already prepared for it thn she will never thnk the othr way.. u thought practically beforehand..
    :relieved::relieved:
     
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  4. Vaikuntha

    Vaikuntha Platinum IL'ite

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    You are concerned about your friend. Not Jealous.
    But now on, leave the concern as it was received well
     
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  5. Shreema86

    Shreema86 Platinum IL'ite

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    Who has accused of being jealous, is it your friend or her family.? I think your friend like most Indian girls is naive about the reality of marriage. 12 years is their prime lives staying apart. She is in reality going to be wedded to his family rather than him. Yes, your concern is valid. I think there is family pressure on your ur friend. Ask her to put her foot down. Educationally they are very mismatched. Unless your friend is an extreme sati Savithri, this is going to be a total disaster.
     
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  6. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Op....you did your bit as a friend.Now leave it to her.
    She is not a child and seems to be a part of the selection process.
    She can join him to some of the peace work stations.He will get two months break per year.She can plan on going for vacations.Tell her to concentrate on her career .It will be helpful when he retires,he can start some thing on his own after he retires.

    She is educated...she can motivate him to study further.The Army gives enough opportunities to people who want to educate themselves.This can help him get promoted or get better job after retirement.

    One pitfall can be lack of bonding due to separations.Tell her to concentrate on making the bond with him and try to join him where ever it is possible.
     
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  7. Rise

    Rise Platinum IL'ite

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    You warned her.Now it's up to her. No it's not jealousy it's called being a good friend
     
  8. generic

    generic Gold IL'ite

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    YouR friend seems to be madly in love with this army fellow..that's why she seems to be very disconnected from reality..as a good friend you have expressed your concern and she has misunderstood as jealousy..Nothing much you can do apart from wishing her all the best and being there for her if she needs any help.
     
  9. InduSanskriti

    InduSanskriti New IL'ite

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