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Marrying an ABCD (American Born Cultured Desi)

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by shania3k, Oct 31, 2010.

  1. shania3k

    shania3k New IL'ite

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    Disclaimer: For all the amazing ABCD's out there, please note my version of the abbreviation in the title.

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    The mere thought of my wedding day gets a chuckle out of me. After all, its been a year and the memories are still fresh. The image of my propah American Indian husband wearing traditional South Indian wedding garb, trying to chant in Sanskrit with a Chicago twang, still makes me giggle.

    To give you some insider information, I'm originally from a very modern Brahmin family from Bombay (I'll always call it Bombay and not Mumbai), and was living in the US for a few years. My parents firmly believe in maintaining a tenuous tight rope between the traditional and the modern. This resulted in us throwing a cocktail party with alcohol galore a week before the wedding, and a very traditional, elaborate Brahmin ceremony on the day of the wedding. My "pati parmeshwar" on the other hand is Chicago bred (also brahmin), needs subtitles to watch Hindi movies, only speaks in English and has no clue about Vedic rituals (or any ritual).

    The morning of the wedding found me in the salon getting dressed. It was taking longer than usual, as I hadn't done the "dress rehearsal" with the beautician the day before (bad idea). All of a sudden, my parents started frantically calling me on my phone, because the Pujari had decided to start of with the individual family rituals a half hour before. Fortunately though, I wasn't really needed in these ceremonies. Unfortunately, there was only forty minutes remaining for the auspicious marriage time.

    I rushed back to the wedding venue, which was in Koregaon Park, Pune at the Rohi Villa Palace. I managed to sneak into the bride's room without being noticed. I think some people just saw a blur of a yellow sari flashing by in the corridoor. The bride's chamber had a little window through which I could peek below at the ceremonies without actually being noticed. I saw A, in a flaming red silk dhoti (he wore red on my insistance to match my yellow sari to get the haldi-kumkum combo), Dad in an equally flaming purple silk dhoti (my idea again) and Mom in a beautiful royal blue silk sari. A's parents were superbly dressed and color co-ordinated too (my idea again). They all looked like brightly colored birds, looking very busy.

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    When the time came, my uncle escorted me downstairs for the marriage. The smell of various pujas, the bustle in the hall and the strains of the shehnai made my heart race faster. I saw my parents emotional, loving expressions and I burst into tears very dramatically. Fortunately, A didnt have to see this, because there was a silk cloth held by two people, that was purposely meant to separate us. All I could see were his feet and a hint of a grin when I tried to peer into the fabric.

    After the "Shubh Mangal Savadhan" chants, the cloth was dramatically swiped away, and I saw A's startled expression and felt a small giggle come up. Flashing forward to the "Kanya Daan", the parents are supposed to give the groom a coconut that symbolizes their daughter being given to him. When my parents did that, he had no idea what it meant, and he tried giving the coconut to me. This time, even the Pujari couldn't control a small laugh.

    Time passed by very slowly. The wedding fire was blazing and I could feel the sweat slowly trickle down my legs. A had never experienced this kind of heat before, and was slowly turning lobster-red. Out of nowhere, my cousin brother twisted his ear. (This was the rite where a brother makes sure the husband takes good care of his sister. ) A jumped and looked back at what just happened. My cousin gave him an impish grin, nodded at the pujari and walked away.

    The wedding ceremonies finally got done, and I heard A giving a very audible sigh of relief. It was now his favorite part - lunch! As he munched away at the delicacies, I couldn't help looking over proudly at him and tried to imagine how different the whole wedding must have seemed to him. I looked over at my parents and I felt a wave of love crashing over me. They had spent the last month just planning everything from another country.

    A's parents too were battling jet lag and looked tired from the constant running around with the last minute details.

    The great Indian wedding was finally over, and I had many things to be thankful for.

    In the end, my darling ABCD was the guy who ate Indian food with delight, watched Hindi movies for my sake without understanding, and tried his level best to communicate in a language other than English.

    The wedding was done, and now came the next big thing - Costa Rica For our honeymoon
     
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  2. mssunitha2001

    mssunitha2001 IL Hall of Fame

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    Loved your narration on your wedding !!!!!!:rotfl

    Wish you both a very very
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  3. shania3k

    shania3k New IL'ite

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    Thanks dear!! You just made my day by being the first one to comment on my blog :) I'm kind of new to Indus Ladies
     
  4. iswaryadevi

    iswaryadevi Platinum IL'ite

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    Loved reading your marriage experience :)
     
  5. shania3k

    shania3k New IL'ite

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    Glad you liked it! More to come on the subject:)
     

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