Married with Children

I agree MaritalBliss, mom is mom. You can not judge mother's love by her decision if she chooses to be SAHM or a working mom! It is one's personal choice and as an adult she knows what is better for her. It is human nature to judge other person, if you remember the story of a couple and their donkey (The Story about the Donkey and the Perception | Leonova's Weblog). No matter what you do, you can not make everyone happy. My ultimate mantra is to be happy in whatever you do (work or be a home maker), ignore people who spread negativity.

 

even single women have maids these days in india and tuitions are a rather commonplace thing to do when kids need extra help in particular subjects.

nobody is perfect. nothing to feel guilty about!

empty nest syndrome is faced by both sets of mothers.

the decision to work or be a SAHM, if such an option exists, is taken jointly by a couple. the financial ramifications of this decision is nobody else's business, unless they are knocking on your door for funds!

moms like amma15 deserve kudos too, for letting their career take a backseat and deciding to focus on and prioritize their family first. a lot of SAHM's i know are active members of their communities, utilizing their talents and time for volunteer activities too.

 

Hi AC- This is a hot button issues I think everywhere because women are judged by society for thing they do and things they don't do. So there is no winning.

As for me, I too am of the opinion that I would like to spend time raising my baby ( not grandparents or daycare) at least until she is old enough to go to school. That is however a personal decision between by husband and I. Our parents also think it is the right decision for us. Plus I think I did the whole bit of proving myself at work, being independent etc and at this stage, my child's needs are of primary importance to me. My opinions were shaped by the fact that my mom was a SAHM and I loved being around her all the time and I want to create that enviornment for my baby.

However, I do believe this should be a totally a personal decision- to work or not. For some it is a financial necessity and for others it is a need to also contribute towards their career in which they invested many years- and there is nothing wrong with that. After all men do it too and no one every accuses them of being bad fathers for that reason. Plus most working moms put in that extra effort to spend quality time with their children and many stay-at-home moms are not really that hands-on. In the end of the day it all depends on what is best for the baby, the mother and the family.

 

I agree with sdiva. There is no need to place sahms on a pedestal and no need to criticize working mums. It's one's personal choice. I have been on both sides and in my opinion it does not make much difference in my case. The only thing is that kids fall ill less often and recover faster when we are at home. Even with good maid,my kids were doing well. As a wkng mum, I was happier and thus kids were happier too. As a sahm, there are good days and bad ones..the only times I feel good is when my kid does well in school..that's the only validation I get..