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Married with Children

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Anandchitra, Apr 3, 2013.

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Apr 3, 2013 #21

Barbie2013 Silver IL'ite

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I really love you anandchitra

i have followed all your gardening posts

Whatever u write i feel its full of life its all because ur contented.

Hugs to you. Very few ppl can think like you. Many of the women think that if they send their children to corporate schools thats love but for whatever u did in this materialistic society u deserve an applause

Anandchitra said: ↑

Disclaimer : This will be moderated and only friendly discussions allowed.
Exchange of ideas and opinions only in a polite manner.
When rules are not followed the moderator will have to take action.
Nothing written here is meant to hurt anyone so kindly do not take it personally.
In this day and age I am sure we can all engage in interchange of opinions in a mature and friendly manner.

Laura Schlessinger is Radio show host, T.V program host author and so much more, very controversial woman. I first heard her on the radio around maybe 10 years back. The moment I heard for less than few minutes I stopped what I was doing and thanked God.
I finally found someone else who thinks like me and I am not the only one who thinks the way I do.
She also advocated to not work outside the home when the baby is born up until the baby goes to school and even then only part time. No wonder she is so controversial.
Even before I heard her I was doing EXACTLY that.
In my generation it was the most fashionable thing to go to work. Most of our mothers stayed at home so almost all of us girls growing up had this fetish to go to work.
Unlike others though I quit my job when I had a child. I absolutely wanted to raise my child and never once thought I should leave the child to an ayah or nanny.
I also was hesitant to leave my child with mother and motherin law because my mtherin law raised 5 of her grandchildren till they were 6 years old and I saw the strain in puts on a grand parent.
Naturally I became the center of controversy. My mother openly accused me of being lazy and so did my mother in law though subtly. All other women who worked with me and I thought friend looked down their noses at me and turned back side.
I really did not get it. Why should others be offended to the decision I make?
I could clearly see and I mean CLEAR that I am the person to raise my own child.
Now what others do is their business and their life. However in my life I am adamant when it comes to defending my choice and extremely brave to stand up for what I believe in.
Tomorrow when my child gets married and decides to leave their kid at day care I will not say a thing. It does not matter to me what decisions others make but absolutely matters that I live my life with my set of principles and standards.
Now this raising my child by myself I did not learn it from a book or t.v.
I JUST KNEW IT !
No other way to say it but just knew it from the bottom of my heart. There are many instance when I just knew it, like walking away from a abusive work environment and standing up for abused women and children.I have zero tolerance for abuse. At times like these I feel within me a courage and bravery I never knew I had.
Exchange of ideas and opinions welcomed in a friendly manner.
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Barbie2013, Apr 3, 2013

Barbie2013, Apr 3, 2013

#21

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Apr 3, 2013 #22

TimidlyConfidnt Gold IL'ite

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cutemonster said: ↑

Hi nice post AC
It reminds me of one of my posts in IL some time back when there was some discussion going on about why women waste professional college seats when
Later on they don't do jobs and stay at home to raise kids. At that time I remember I faced some really harsh comments when I mentioned that even though I m professionally qualified I choose to stay at home and be their for my baby.
I was a very ambitious person and worked right after college for few years, when I married I choose to stay home and enjoy married life and now have a baby and I don't plan to join soon.
Even I feel for a child a mother can take best care , may be that's how I saw my mom who was highly educated but took care of us even when we had servants who could help and later also worked in schools where we studied so she could come and go with us.
I strongly feel that it is good if a kid gets a mother's full time care but sometimes in this modern world there are lots of factors to be considered.many times money can be constraint and both partners need to work for financial reasons and also god forbid for some hard times.
Then of course many women feel that they need to work for dignity and independence.
So I would say it is to each its own.
But one thing we all will agree that as a mother a woman wants best for her kids, for some it may be in the form of being there for your kid and for some by working hard outside .
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Mother knows best :thumbsup

TimidlyConfidnt, Apr 3, 2013

TimidlyConfidnt, Apr 3, 2013

#22

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Apr 3, 2013 #23

Anandchitra IL Hall of Fame

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I dont know what to say . It gladdens me so much someone out there is appreciating a nobody like me; .. Bow .. Bow.. .. Bow .. Bow

Thank you from the bottom of my heart;

Barbie2013 said: ↑

I really love you anandchitra

i have followed all your gardening posts

Whatever u write i feel its full of life its all because ur contented.

Hugs to you. Very few ppl can think like you. Many of the women think that if they send their children to corporate schools thats love but for whatever u did in this materialistic society u deserve an applause
Click to expand...

Anandchitra, Apr 3, 2013

Anandchitra, Apr 3, 2013

#23
Apr 3, 2013 #24

Anandchitra IL Hall of Fame

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Thank you. I am really touched by your words.:kiss When I was young living in apurely materialistic society I was sometimes second guessing.. now in ripe OLD age.. so confident.. am on my way !

In the movie Raghavendra which my husband and I love to watch many times, Sri raghavendar says..

"If you want to follow the path of truth, then be prepared to poverty".. and some more along those lines.

Once you make a decision whatever it might be the more others dont do it the more controversy it will raise. People will rush to call you abnormal
The more you stand firmly aligned with truth the more it empowers you within.
Now that I spend my time in bhajan and satsang I have offended a whole new lot of people who are convinced I am "crazy " & "weird"... loving it

Dinny said: ↑

AC right now i am feeling what you felt for that Radio host then.And i can so sooo relate to what you have said here.I am doing what you have already done...I was married within months after completing my college and then my baby was born.I didnt have the chance to have the so called job experience except for the few months that i got while i was expecting my baby.And when my son joined preschool i started doing occassional corporate trainings but timings were such that i reached home before my son got back home...no maids and no day cares.Fortunately my family(ILs and my own parents)have supported me...may be because they know that i wont have it any other way...
Many so called relatives ask me "ohh so you do a part time job"....Obviously with a little sarcasm in it ..they have ways to show me i am inferior to them...i dont care because like them i work 9-5 with my project engineer but from HOME...
Sometimes when i see my friends on FB posting their pics with colleagues or say their marriage photos...i wonder god did i miss something??(with little jealousy of course)...but then i am sure years later when i will look back at the decisions i have made i will never be guilty of not giving time to my family when they needed it most...

AC you decided to choose your family over your career ...kudos to you!!
Women like you are my inspiration...muuahh
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Anandchitra, Apr 3, 2013

Anandchitra, Apr 3, 2013

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Apr 3, 2013 #25

Dinny IL Hall of Fame

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Yeah Chitu welcome to the Abnormal normal's group ...or should it be the other way around...you welcoming me to this group??

Dinny, Apr 3, 2013

Dinny, Apr 3, 2013

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Apr 3, 2013 #26

BerryPine Gold IL'ite

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Dear OP,
I am on the same boat!!
One day I was so much frustrated based on the same "stay at home mommy" topic and started typing here to vent out! but as soon I finished typing I felt cool and crtl+A del;-)

First I quit my job in chennai and flewed abroad with my DH.People started gossiping like am a least bothered careless woman who quit the job just like that and flewed!!
But I managed to get a job in abroad.Then ppl started asking about that "good news". Few years later discovered my pregnancy and happened to quit again due to my health issue.And again ppl started gossiping about am jobless!!

It has been 3 years since I resigned my job and ppl talk like as if they are assuaging me for my career.
Even though I say I resigned for my kids,I have to take care of them,Kids needs me,deep inside my heart I always wanted to restart my career.All my parents hard earned money had spent for my studies.

I always envy ladies who work with children
Kudos to you for starting such a thread.Excuse me for the little long story of mine

PS:- As Rakhii said ppl always need some or the other thing to taunt/irritate either advocating or judging!

BerryPine, Apr 3, 2013

BerryPine, Apr 3, 2013

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Apr 3, 2013 #27

Anandchitra IL Hall of Fame

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No problem.. its better that youngsters welcome oldies.. feels good Thank ya ma dear)

Dinny said: ↑

Yeah Chitu welcome to the Abnormal normal's group ...or should it be the other way around...you welcoming me to this group??
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Anandchitra, Apr 3, 2013

Anandchitra, Apr 3, 2013

#27

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Apr 3, 2013 #28

BerryPine Gold IL'ite

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Flyhighbluesky said: ↑

I quit my job when i was 6 months pregnant.. and decided to stay home until my dd was old enough! She's 4 now and ready for school (although,mom's heart sez she still isnt old enuf!!)... and now when finally i thot of thinking careerwise we get the big news...Im..7weeks!!!lol!!!Allsizzzzzwelllll
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whoaa!! Congrats

BerryPine, Apr 3, 2013

BerryPine, Apr 3, 2013

#28

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Apr 3, 2013 #29

Anandchitra IL Hall of Fame

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Thank you for stepping in with a wonderful worded comment

It is time we women stick together whatever be the decision we make we ought to vow to support each other;

BerryPine said: ↑

Dear OP,
I am on the same boat!!
One day I was so much frustrated based on the same "stay at home mommy" topic and started typing here to vent out! but as soon I finished typing I felt cool and crtl+A del;-)

First I quit my job in chennai and flewed abroad with my DH.People started gossiping like am a least bothered careless woman who quit the job just like that and flewed!!
But I managed to get a job in abroad.Then ppl started asking about that "good news". Few years later discovered my pregnancy and happened to quit again due to my health issue.And again ppl started gossiping about am jobless!!

It has been 3 years since I resigned my job and ppl talk like as if they are assuaging me for my career.
Even though I say I resigned for my kids,I have to take care of them,Kids needs me,deep inside my heart I always wanted to restart my career.All my parents hard earned money had spent for my studies.

I always envy ladies who work with children
Kudos to for for starting such a thread.Excuse me for the little long story of mine

PS:- As Rakhii said ppl always need some or the other thing to taunt/irritate either advocating or judging!
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Anandchitra, Apr 3, 2013

Anandchitra, Apr 3, 2013

#29
Apr 3, 2013 #30

Anandchitra IL Hall of Fame

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Thanks for stepping in here with a lovely comment; Congrats is in order for you take care dear )

Flyhighbluesky said: ↑

I quit my job when i was 6 months pregnant.. and decided to stay home until my dd was old enough! She's 4 now and ready for school (although,mom's heart sez she still isnt old enuf!!)... and now when finally i thot of thinking careerwise we get the big news...Im..7weeks!!!lol!!!Allsizzzzzwelllll
Click to expand...

Anandchitra, Apr 3, 2013

Anandchitra, Apr 3, 2013

#30

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