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Married Life- Journey of a LifeTime with My Darling Husband :)

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Paru147, Jul 28, 2009.

  1. Paru147

    Paru147 New IL'ite

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    Today I complete 1 year, 3 months and 1 week into my wedded life. Even today when anybody asks me how my married life is going I reply back saying “I am still settling into it” !! Wow so long and still settling?!! Guess it takes long time to get settled or I am still not ready to accept I have already settled!!:)

    I was first among my friends to get married. So now when my friends are one by one getting married I feel that I owe them some few small advices and home truths! I don’t know if it is going to help them in anyway but I am sure it will prevent them from getting shocks and surprises of reality from their rosy world of dreamland!!!!

    What surprises me is how people have wrong notions that you can’t enjoy once you are into married life. I agree even I had this feeling before my wedding and I had even argued about it to my DH before our wedding to bargain for more time before our wedding!! I guess this has come in from the old times where the girls after marriage was expected to only run the house and not go out and enjoy with her friends! I too was a little worried that I will loose my freedom once into married life but to my utter surprise I feel now I have more freedom than what I had before!!! Thanks to my darling hubby who gives me complete freedom to go out and hang out with my friends and enjoy my free time. Of course I too keep in mind that I am married and that I have responsibilities towards my home and hubby so I take care not to misuse or over use my freedom! And since I love being with my hubby and pampering him so I kind of end up not going out even if he tells me to take a break and go out to hang out with friends!!!! Still some days I do take a break and go out with my friends and enjoy the day….
    Another worry that is always there is how to manage both house work and the office work!!! (Tell you I still am on my way to finding the mid way of this balance!!) But again here too my hubby comes in to pitch in some help and does the cleaning work some days.. oh by the way here I should add that for me I prefer him not doing the cleaning work because though it starts as a help to me but ends up more of trouble for me!!!!! But I never tell him no because poor my hubby does it with so much love and affection that I don’t feel like hurting him!!!! Oh ya there are some days when I ask my sweetheart to help me with kitchen work… on those days we end up fighting like anything. First it takes so long for him to reach the kitchen and second he starts with his cleaning process instead of the help that I had asked him do!!!
    We do have our shares of fights and quarrels but of course this is inevitable as I tell my friends or any who is getting married… you can’t expect life to be that smooth! Even roses have thorns! And well both of us are coming from different backgrounds and both of us are individuals with different views and opinions! So sparks are sure to fly… but with love and patience (ok this part is tricky!) and lot of compromises and adjustments these get solved and lesser… plus after some time you actually enjoy these small petty fights as girls have better benefits in the making up part! The only thing to keep in mind about these fights is that these are your personal stuff between you and your spouse. So keep it within you. The minute you start telling your parents or parents-in-law about them then the whole scenario changes. Avoid that. Solve it between both of you. Would you have dragged your parents into fights if you were having it with your boyfriend and not hubby??!! So what is so different when its your hubby?!!! My DH says “Hubbys are nothing but legal boyfriends!” and I quite agree with him there!!!

    I have always found that whatever anybody says that husbands and wives have to equally adjust and make equal compromises, its always we girls who need to give more. We have to get ourselves ready to make more compromises and more adjustments than the guys. Not because we are inferior to them but because we are more mature and have less ego and more love in our hearts. Though my hubby is 5 years elder to me I always feel when it comes to situations of fights and arguments he is 10 years younger to me!!!! So when I see the child in him then the motherly feeling in me helps me in making up or avoiding the fights! (Well not always! Sometimes I too like to be a child you see!!!:mrgreen: Still it works most of the time!)

    All that apart, my most favourite part which I love the most is where my Hubby pampers me!! In our case he knows I being an only child have never really got to know how it is to have siblings. So now he plays those roles in my life!! Its so much fun to see him do it and to get all the love and pampering from him!! You know people say if you are an only child then your parents spoil you with their pampering but in my case my parents were careful not to do that and instead its my DH who is spoiling with all the pampering!!!;-) And this actually gives me all the strength to be patient and forgiving and to make all the adjustments needed for my journey to go smooth... So my advice to my friends goes love your husband so much that you feel he is your world and then things will work out better and easier...

    Last but not the least I will never forget the one advice my mother told me on the day after my engagement- “Make your hubby your best friend for lifetime. Enjoy your life with this best friend. Its inevitable that there will be small fights in life with this best friend like how you had with your other friends but you will have no problem in forgiving your best friend and forgetting those small fights like how you did with your other friends.”. and I now tell it to those getting married. Today I have found my best friend and lover in my Darling Husband and I am enjoying my life with my sweetheart. I have only one thing to tell those who are still anxious and worried about getting married— you are missing the most wonderful thing in life. Go find your best friend for the lifetime and enjoy the life. :exactly:
     
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  2. vvskgn

    vvskgn New IL'ite

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    Hi Paru, I agree with you. Life is better if you consider your husband as a friend. I've been married for 14yrs & 1/2 yrs now. So many things never change no matter how long you are married especially their intent of helping out and ending up as more work for us etc.. Good one. You have indeed learnt quite a lot within a year of wedding. Keep enjoying life. Your blog was a good read!
     
  3. knot2share

    knot2share Gold IL'ite

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    Lovely blog and enjoyed reading it. You surely have learnt a lot in such a short time. Your idea of sharing these with your dear friends is a wonderful thought too. You are right that married life is not scary afterall !
     
  4. mssunitha2001

    mssunitha2001 IL Hall of Fame

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    My dear paru

    Wonderful and excellent blog paru !!!!!!!

    Loved reading and kept reading again and again.....!!!!!!!!:cheers:thumbsup to you !!!!!!!

    Your mother's advice is so heartwarming and is sure going to be an advice to everyone who reads your blog !!!!

    I think you should be thankful to your hus to have made you write such a lovely blog !!!!!!

    -regards
    sunitha
     
  5. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Paru,

    Marriage is all about give and take.

    If your partner is your friend, soulmate, it is a icing on the cake.

    God bless and touchwood for your happy marriage.

    Without fights,quarrels and difference of opinions there is no much spice to a marriage.

    my best friend became my husband and he is still one..
     
  6. manchitra

    manchitra Senior IL'ite

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    Paru

    You have put some intelligent thoughts who has just completed one year plus of married life. Hope this would benefit young girls a lot. and as for you continue the joy ride with your DH
     
  7. archana2008

    archana2008 Gold IL'ite

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    Paru,

    Very nicely written. I could relate stuff to myself and my DH. I feel really lucky to have him as my DH, my friend and feel of him more like my lover and still shy off as of today :)
     
  8. Paru147

    Paru147 New IL'ite

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    thanks a lot everyone... I wrote this blog because on that day I was having a small arguement with myt friend who is trying her level best to avoid all the proposals coming for her!!n her mother is getting worried because of this!!!! so I thought I should put this here so that those who fear about married life will get a better picture!!!
     
  9. Prem.S

    Prem.S Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Paru, Nice blog, you have penned ur thoughts very beautifully. Yeah marraige is all about give and take :)
     
  10. MrsV

    MrsV Bronze IL'ite

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    Hey Paru.. your write was great! I agree with it all.. I got married to my sweetheart, and yet, I wanted to wait it out a bit longer for all the reasons you mentioned.. but now, I wish I had married him the first time I met him!! :)
     

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