1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

married life is not happy now

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by maria27, Feb 4, 2012.

  1. lakvishy

    lakvishy Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    109
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    ABCDguy,

    Her ex is a low life because, during the time they were in relationship, when the time arrived for commitment he refused. The lady accepted and went on with her life, married and was living a very happy life with her husband. This cheapo instead of letting things be, he had to go and spoil everything for her. Now he will be very happy. This man seem to be getting his thrills in seeing the downfall of others.

    From your opinions, makes me wonder, if you would also have followed the same path as that of her EX.

    I am sure, your reply to this query would be, an emphatic NO, I will wish all the best and move on.

    If this is so, then how come you are not able to understand the other guys exact character.

    To understand any character, put yourself in that person's shoes. Try this any time in your life, it will never FAIL.

    All the best, and wish you do not keep rubbing that girls should be carefull, blah blah .....

     
  2. MyWayNow

    MyWayNow New IL'ite

    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    So true. Happens sometimes. It frequently happens to me when my wife goes to her mother's place during the kids vacation for a couple of weeks. During that period, every alternate day i keep becomong the victim of bad time, not an act of infidelity.
     
  3. Diacollect

    Diacollect Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    70
    Likes Received:
    15
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    yes maria, you get his trust back.
    Don’t worry. But it will take some time.
    You just do your duties as a wife and try to convey your love towards him and tell your whole past with apology of not telling him the same at the time of marriage in a mail.
    It will definitely work.
    Just write down you feeling for him.
     
  4. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    7,302
    Likes Received:
    954
    Trophy Points:
    270
    Gender:
    Female
    I dont understand your posts...why are you even posting in teh forums??? this is teh 2nd or 3rd irrelevant post of yours I have read so far.... reallyyy!!!!

    OPs husband is a victim of bad time....you seem to be a victim of bad HABITS not bad TIME!!! (so lets not even compare you with OP)
     
  5. Tugga

    Tugga Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    692
    Likes Received:
    80
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Maria

    I understand you as well as your husband.... Its very hard (specially in this Indian context) to admit the past relationship (again specially the physical part) with your present husband. It is very hard to open up, and even though you speak up before marriage, you would not convey each and every happenings to make him understand very clearly about your past before he decides to marry you.

    On the other hand, a man or women.. whoever it is... they simply have a dream about their life... Some prefer to have a virgin as their life partner, so they will remain one till marriage. Its their right...Once their very basic expectation of life is broken, they will surely feel bad for sometimes.

    Here the trust is broken.. Not because your past relationship, but because you completely hided this from your husband. You need not to be sorry to your husband for having an affair with your ex... it was not an EMA after all.. and you did everything before you even met your husband. But you need to be sorry for not giving him a chance to understand his fiance (you) before he decides to marry you. His right was breached...that's what he is upset.

    Pls understand the reality... and face it accordingly... Hope he will soon calm down and see your loyalty (after marriage) and trust worthy gradually.. Hope your marriage will be smooth very soon. My prayers are for you guys.
     
  6. maria27

    maria27 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    i'm regretting for my past life now..my ex is no more according to me the moement i broke up with him..i was happy..why he came back and spoiled my life.we were all happy before this issue..mu husband has lot of commitmenets going on,he was building a new home and its in finishing stage...we planned for a kid..before this we will talking about future life..now i feel i'm seperated from him..i have spoiled the happines of my husband...i can see he is upset from his behaviour..i fear this problem is making a big gap between us...truely i was in my early twenties( 22 0r 23) may be when i got into relationship with my ex..i thought only about love...i didn't know the reality of life..that is why i lost my virginity to him.i beleived my ex all the way..i regret for my actions now..
    my mind is getting upset day by day..should i see a doctor or counsellor?
    can i tell about this problem to my parents..if i do this..should i get my husbands permission before telling this to my parents?
    i don't have any clue how my parents react to this?
     
  7. bhuvnidhi

    bhuvnidhi IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,273
    Likes Received:
    1,905
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Female
    Maria , Relax!Do not take it to your parents now.You would be complicating things unnecessarily.This should be sorted out between you and your hubby.He seems to be a matured person according to me as in one of your post you had mentioned he acts very normal with your uncle & his son.

    Did you talk to him directly on this?What was his reaction?
    When your uncle & his son came home, how was his behavior towards you?
     
  8. sskurk

    sskurk New IL'ite

    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Maria,

    You should be happy that you have such a understanding hubby. At the same time, never talk to your Ex by yourself. Find out the reasons from your hubby first, then even if you have to talk to your Ex, see to that you make a conf call, but the Ex shouldn't know that your hubby is online. And see what he speaks and let the truth come out. Be brave, but never ignore your hubby's feelings at the same time.
     
  9. maria27

    maria27 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Today afternoon he returned from work at 3..i didn’t go to work today...i decided today is the day...i’m going to ask him everything...
    These are the conversations:
    Me: what happened to you? Why u aren’t talking with me? I admit that i didn’t say about my past relationship...i’m sorry....but i’m not a bad girl...if u don’t talk to me, i will go to my parents home...
    Dh: if u want, u can go...still now i haven’t abused or scolded you..if u feel u want to go to ur parent’s home..u can go....
    Me: why u are talking like this? What my ex told to u through phone....
    Dh: i can’t say...
    Me: u have to say....i’m ur wife..i want to know what he said....if u don’t say...i will leave the home...
    Dh: he told “ i’m not the one and only ex- bf of your wife....the number is uncountable....” i gave him money and got the photos.....i did this because u are my wife....what else u except me to do?.....u except me to behave normally ..how can i do that?
    Me: u believe what my ex is saying?
    Dh: belief is not a question here....u loved him so u were in relationship with him...i don’t have any rights to talk about it.....before marriage u should have said this to me....or atleast after marriage...i came to know about this through a third person...
    Me: believe me....i’m not that type of girl...
    Dh: i believe u...so only i haven’t said anything about this to elders....but my mind takes some time to get through this.....even if u had 10 bfs...before marriage..its not a problem...i want u to be a good woman after marriage..i believe u would behave as a responsible married woman...but somehow i can’t be the same...it takes some time to come over this.......upto that...if u want u can be with ur parents or u can be with me...i promise i won’t apply for divorce....so u can be sure....
    Ladies what should i do now......can i take legal actions against my ex For upsetting my married life....
     
  10. lavii

    lavii Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,503
    Likes Received:
    302
    Trophy Points:
    183
    Gender:
    Female
    hey based on last post i can say u r very very lucky women to get such a husband who is soo supportive..try to understand his thoughts as well.Its not easy to digest when you hear such stuff and his trust was broken..All that he is asking you is time ..So be normal ..Let the time heal..His intentions are clear..He is saying he wont go for divorce or approach elders for same..According to me he is acting like a gentleman..I am sure it takes time but all would be well...
     
    2 people like this.

Share This Page