married life is not happy now

maria27 · Feb 4, 2012

i'm 27..married for 15 months...my husband is 28...i will tell my problem hoping to get a change....

before marriage..i was in a relationship with a guy in my college and i lost my virginity to him...but somehow the relationship didn't work out...we had lot of ego problems and he started to avoid me....i asked him to marry me..but he said i can't marry u....meanwhile my parents selected this guy(dh) to marry me....i didn't reveal anything about my past to him.....i was happily married to him and left my home town..i started to lead a happy life forgot everything..my dh was a nice guy..i never taught about my past....

but one month ago i met my ex...i was in no mood to talk to him..i igorned him..but he threated me to tell about my past to my husband...somehow he found the address and land telephone number..he called me and distrubed me many times...one day my husband picked the call and he came to know about all this....
he asked whether this things are real? i told my past to him....ex had some pics of me in which i took with thim..he threated me..my dh was very supportive

he talked to my ex- and said no to distrub my life....he was a patient guy and talked to my ex and made him understand things.....he got the photos also...my ex also said he won't distrub me...i taught things are fine

but after that inncident...dh taled to him last saturday, after that..dh is not talking to me....from last sunday he is sleeping in a seperate room..he didn't eat my cooking..he doesn't even talk to me...i tried talking to him..but he is not even listening to me...he drops me at work by car( instead of bike) and picks me....he is behaving as if he is the only person...he talks to my parents and well...

i tried talking to him......he is not even speaking to me....i'm sad..i'm feeling like living in hell

Hyral · Feb 4, 2012

Please talk to your X ex and try to find out what did he say to your hubby... Also , tell to you hubby that you love him to core and past happened to you as you felt committed to your ex but never knew ex's true intentions...Tell ur hubby , you need his support in all phases of life and wanna live all seasons of life with him...
Write him a letter or email if he is not ready to listen you. Hope he understands....
Hope all goes well between you both...indeed we gals somehow gets more affected when our DH doesnt talk to us for our fault or theirs.

bhuvnidhi · Feb 4, 2012

Pretty complicated situation.Talk to your hubby and make him realise that he is the only one in your life now and whatever happenned is past.Give him some time as he must be feeling betrayed.

This is the reason elders say we have to be careful in everything.Your Ex is a *******.

radhavenkatesh · Feb 4, 2012

hi maria
sad to hear what you are going through..its tough u c for dh to realise the truth nd digest it .. never again talk to your ex frnd once ur dh is looking into the matter... you first prepare yourself to face the situation ...be strong and have patience give time for him to accept the facts... if you can talk with him and tell him its a past chapter and ask him if he can start the life fresh and new... as far as i knw today men have broad feelings and would take it lite .... its good you have told him truth maybe you should have told prior to marriage .. anyways better late than never...
best wishes dear
radha

orion80 · Feb 4, 2012

Seems like your husband is a very understanding guy, talked to your ex, got the photos and was good with you till that call. I suspect foul play from your ex.

Call up your ex and ask him what has happened. Demand him for answers if he is evasive. Sit with your husband and ask him what has happened. Till either opens up you will be in dark as to what has happened and will not be able to understand why your husband is suddenly behaving like this.

praneeth76 · Feb 4, 2012

first you have to know what ur ex has told about u to your understand....i would suggest you to wait rather than asking ur ex about what he told to ur hubby...ur husband might open up...there must be something wrong.....

be brave and ready to face the situation....u have to re-build trust..hope the problems gets sorted out quickly.

sherin78 · Feb 4, 2012

I would suggest never, ever talk to your ex without your husband's knowledge. Your husband has been so supportive after knowing your past, it might definitely hurt him if he comes to know that you spoke to your ex again. If it is still for knowing what happened between them. Moreover there are high chances your ex can trap your life again. he can twist the story to any length. If you want to know why your DH suddenly behaves odd, then ask him. Have little patience, wait for few days and ask.

fencesitter · Feb 4, 2012

I think one should also take legal/police help in such cases.

bukbuk · Feb 4, 2012

Please please don't talk to your ex ever again. There is no point talking to the bastard and one thing may lead to another and your husband's agony might be aggravated. It's not difficult to see why your h is upset. Having to deal with wife's ex with whom she had physical relationship is not picnic. At least be honest with your h now. Speak to him. If you like, get your parents support but don't try to involve your ex again.

Also change your phone numbers and if your x harasses you further, as someone suggested involve Police discretely but taking your h into confidence.

maria27 · Feb 4, 2012

thank u all the ladies..

i don't have any connection with any ex now...infact the moment we broke up i forgot him..i was happy after getting married...i was happy until last month..then only EX got my number and threatened me..my husband got all the photos from my ex and burnt the photos..the problem is about the last conversation in phone call...i don't know what my ex told to my hubby....

the phone call was on last saturday..from that dh hubby didn't talk anything to me...i know i lied to him..but i like him very much...even if he slaps me for lying i will be happy...problem is that he is not even talking a word to me upto today..i'm so upset..he lives and sleeps in a seperate room....i just can't be like this.....

how can i get his trust back...