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Marriages - Made in Heaven?

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by manjulapathy, Sep 6, 2009.

  1. manjulapathy

    manjulapathy Senior IL'ite

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    Life is very bizarre sometimes. When it comes to marriage some are really lucky and some are not. I know a friend of mine who had to go through this ordeal not once but twice. She was a very beautiful girl- fair skinned, tall, good features and what not. She had completed an MA in music. As usual her parents arranged a boy for her who was working in a Bank. But right after the marriage on the 1st night the boy fell at her feet and told her that she looked like Mahalakshmi. He said he would worship/idolize her. She realised something was fallacious. She confronted her father in law the next day. She asked him why they had wrecked her life if the boy was not interested in getting married. Instead of trying to elucidate the situation , he withdrew. He took his son to a pool, drowned him in it after which he himself committed suicide!! Imagine. .my friend and her mother in law lost their husbands on the same day. Its a bit much for such a young girl who is newly married to be going through this mental agony. Instead of starting a life of her dreams she lost not only her husband but her father in law too. Her journey towards blissful life was cut short and she went back to her parents place.
    Eventually within a year's time she got her husband's Bank job on compassionate grounds. Few years passed and the idea of re marriage crept into her parents' mind. This second boy whom the parents chose was a widower. He had a child. His wife had died of brain haemorrhage a few years back. This girl agreed and they got married in a simple ceremony. Right from the beginning her mother in law found some or the other fault with her. She never used to allow the kid to talk to my friend. Even when in the car her mother in law used to sit with her son in the front and my friend had to sit at the back. My friend endured everything thinking that some day things will become better. In the mean time the child got attached to my friend. As she was living in some other city we did not know the real picture. And the husband turned out to be a real mamma's boy!! Though this family was quite well to do my friend was supposed to give her entire salary to her mother in law and in turn she was given pittance.
    Small things count a lot in a relationships and especially when the husband does not fathom the complications.
    When it became beyond endurance she started living alone in the same city. After few years both the families tried to reconcile things between them but all in vain. She divorced her husband and now she is back at her parents’ home .
    Dear ILites what do you all have to say about this? Is it some sort of sarpa Dosham or some curse? The trauma she went through in her life is unexplainable. What is so bad in her stars that in spite of being so beautiful and smart everything went downhill? But the positive side of this is that now she has accepted the fact and lives with her parents. She has a bank job and a good family to support her.
    If all marriages are made in heaven where was this made? I remember some one saying sometime back. Though marriages are made in heaven it has to be lived on earth!! How true!
    This is where fate is playing major role I feel.
    last but not the least... let us not crib for small problems in life. let us be thankful to god for what he has given us.
     
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  2. PreethiArun66

    PreethiArun66 Senior IL'ite

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    Manjulapathy madam,
    I really dont have words with me !!
    I always wonder when coming to marriage why these guys if not interested in a particular gal ,for any reason,agreeing to get married.. If they can tell the girl before she atleast would have stopped the marriage.
    Now since your friend was already married they treat her like a second hand though nothing really existed with her first husband.
    Dont know when all these will change!!
     
  3. varalotti

    varalotti IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Manjula,

    It's really sad. I know many cases like that. But at least the second attempt at marriage had been successful for most of them. In your friend's case even that had failed.

    In our troubled state we always try to seek explanation for the events. And some wise people blame it on the girl, her stars, her horoscope, her parents and eventually on God as well. But the greatest wisdom is not to seek any explanation.

    And the best counsel I can give to your friend is just to accept life as it is. She would have known by now that to live alone is a bliss. Of course at times loneliness might haunt her. But sooner or later an answer would appear on the horizon.

    I am sure God would answer her prayers.

    that was a very disturbing piece of writing, Manjula. But you have presented the case well with simple words and directly to the point.

    love,
    sridhar
     
  4. manjulapathy

    manjulapathy Senior IL'ite

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    Hi preeti!
    I know!! Out look has to change. As far these things are concerned we have long way to go. Thanks for your first FB
    manjula


     
  5. manjulapathy

    manjulapathy Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Sridhar!
    So happy to see your FB almost immediately. She has accepted the life what fate has offered. The so called "society" never keeps quiet. it constantly watches her. Reminds me of "The miller and his Donkey" story. Whatever she does people are there to advocate their unwanted opinions. This world is very cruel when it comes to single women whether they are widowed or divorced.
    well about my writing.... thanks a lot...I really value your opinions as you are veteran in this field. Believe me! This is the (IL) 1st platform I have started writing.:hide: I cannot write/ speak beating around the bush. I cant even explain things in a very elaborate way:frown:

    manjula



     
  6. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Its really disturbing to know such cases....seems like marriage is not a lucky event for this girl....no idea why some people have to go through such hell...Though marriage is not the whole life....but i still hope and wish this girl has a beautiful life and one day she will have the most perfect and happy married life she always dreamt of.....
     
  7. knot2share

    knot2share Gold IL'ite

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    Oh my god ! Manjula, that is a painful story of your friend. It aches to know that so many things have still not changed in our society. Sometimes feel like shaking people real hard and saying to them to "wake up !". Very glad to hear that atleast her family is on her side to support.
     
  8. manjulapathy

    manjulapathy Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Srividya!
    Thanks for the FB. As you say marriage is not the whole life, it is equally difficult for a single woman to survive in our society. Hope she finds somebody someday


     
  9. manjulapathy

    manjulapathy Senior IL'ite

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    Hi K2S!
    Happy to see your comments! Her familly is really supportive. otherwise it would have been very difficult for her.

     
  10. Shrikha

    Shrikha Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Manjula,

    I just dont know what to say! Only think that a few of us are really lucky to not suffer like that. We need to pray to God for everyone's peace and happiness. May God give her happiness in future.

    Regards,
    Shrikha
     

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