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Marriage

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Meenaneelakantan, Dec 18, 2007.

  1. Meenaneelakantan

    Meenaneelakantan Bronze IL'ite

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    Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence....(a life sentence!).

    Marriage is a 3-ring circus - engagement ring, wedding ring and Suffering.

    A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.

    A woman was telling her friend , "It was I who made my husband a millionaire."
    "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
    The woman replied, " A multi-millionaire".

    There was this woman who had an artist paint a portrait of her covered with the most amazingly beautiful and expensive jewels.
    Her explanation - "If I die and my husband re-marries, I want his next wife to go crazy looking for the jewels."

    Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

    Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

    Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
    A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time!

    Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence?
    Wife to Husband: I'm looking for a loophole
    The definition of a perfect Wife? - one who helps the husband with the dishes...

    The Minister noticed the bride was in distress so asked what was wrong. She replied that she was awfully nervous and afraid she would not remember what to do. The Minister told her that she only needed to remember 3 things.
    First the aisle, cos that is what you'll be walking down.
    Secondly, the alter because that is where you will arrive.
    Finally, remember hymn because that is a type of song we will sing during the service.
    While the bride was walking in step with the wedding march, family and friends of the groom were horrified to hear her repeating these 3 words
    ...Aisle, alter hymn (I'll alter him)

    A little kid asks his Dad, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
    "No idea," replied the Father, "I'm still paying for it..."

    There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married - now he is going through Hell!!!

    I've got a good friend who married a Doctor.
    One day he told her: "You need to do something to spice up our love-making".
    Soon thereafter, he came home and found her in bed with another man who is also an M.D.
    "Why?" asked her husband. "You said I needed to do something to spice up our love-making;
    I just wanted to get a Second Opinion", she replied...

    One day a man inserted an 'advert' in the local classifieds: "Wife wanted".
    Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

    What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? -
    Well, it's the same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving

    Marriage - an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

    After a lengthy quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
    The husband replied: "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
     
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  2. Paulina

    Paulina Moderator Staff Member Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Meena,

    Those jokes were superb.Thanks for sharing them .It was one long laugh !!

    Read them out to hubby and we enjoyed it immensely.

    regards
    PAULINA:cheers
     
  3. Meenaneelakantan

    Meenaneelakantan Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Paulina ma'am

    Nice to hear that you enjoyed it along with your hubby!
    Thanks for visiting this thread and posting your reply.

    Love
    Meena
     
  4. BhargaviChakravarthy

    BhargaviChakravarthy Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi meena,
    That was superb and humorous.Great!!!!
     
  5. Meenaneelakantan

    Meenaneelakantan Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Bhargavi ma'am

    Thanks for peeping in and posting your comments..

    Regards
    Meena
     
  6. roopadadia

    roopadadia Silver IL'ite

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    Meena,

    Good ones...started the day with a good laugh.

    Roopa.
     

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