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Marriage in few days and fiance diagonised with maligant tumor - confused totally

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by bchoppa, Jun 25, 2012.

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  1. bchoppa

    bchoppa Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Ilites,

    Within 2 months I'm tying knot with my 6 years love. Me and my fiance are so happy and counting time for the Big day. But all that happiness is evaropated now. My fiance told me that he is having a small lump in the back near right shoulder. It is there from the long time. Finally because of my pressure he went to visit a doctor and gave the blood tests. In Blood tests got the result as Type 1 diabetes and he is also having high blood pressure. For this doctor didn't give any medicines and just asked him to do some exercise for an hour daily. We were little bit upset and then thought its normal these days, so no worries. And for the lump doctor took the cells from his lump and sent for biopsy and the result came as a malignant tumor :cry:. Doctor told that further tests will be made to find out whether that tumor is cancer or not. Doctor said he will give medicines for 2 weeks after that he can go for a surgery. But doc is saying that if the tumor comes again then its dangerous. He is not sure whether it will come again or not. He is saying it may or may not. But if it comes then it will be a big problem. My fiance is at the verge of tears now. He told me this news yesterday and he is blaming himself saying im making your life miserable etc etc. Ours is a late marriage (Initial 30s). We have planned so much and so many things to do. But the start itself is blown with this news. I told him not to worry and I will be his side whatever happens. But I'm not able to control. I could not sleep and eat. I'm completely lost. He wants to disclose this news to my parents but I dont want to. As my parents are very old and they can't digest this news. I'm the elder daughter they are simply waiting for my and my sisters marriage to get done. They dont have any other wish in their life. I dont want to jeopardize their lives by disclosing this news because they will obviously will object for marriage now. But my fiance is saying if he hides this then it will be cheating. I'm confused. I need to support him. All these years we waited to be together and when the time is nearing this happened. Already I'm a burden to my parents and because of me only my sister marriage got delayed. And now if i tell them none of my family members can bear this news. What should I do?
     
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  2. pinky6

    pinky6 Platinum IL'ite

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    dear op, am really sorry for your situation..........i don't have any suggestions but i pray for you.......take care.......
     
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  3. tarasharma

    tarasharma Gold IL'ite

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    Dear

    I am sorry to hear your situation. You will be there in all my prayers.

    stay positive dear. God Bless.

    Thanks & Regards
    tara
     
  4. anugamit

    anugamit Platinum IL'ite

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    Oh dear, you are in such a tough situation. Hugs to you dear. Brave lady, if God wishes everything will be okay and your fiance will soon be better. I will pray for you. You should tell your parents about this. They may object for your marriage but they may not stop you from supporting your fiance. This is just my opinion.
     
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  5. Quebec

    Quebec Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi,


    @bchoppa,


    well i dont know wheather this helps or nott bur here goes......


    Tell your fiance to wait till it is confirmed about wheather it is normal tumor or a cancerous one...............


    Also tell him that it was only on your insistence that he got himself checked and if this all had been checked after marriage then would'nt telling this add to your parents burden.........


    Do his parents know?


    Tell him i'm going to marry you no matter what and also nobody is destroying anybody's life...........


    It is just a tumour and it hopefully looks like that even if it turns out to be cancer then it is in the initial stage only and all cancers can be treated if caught early.......




    Telll him you two were meant to be always together that's why god put this thought in your mind that the tumour should be checked and thus everything going right you have saved your future husbands life so that you can always be together............

    But please tell him to buy an accucheck or something of that sort to constantly measure his bloodsugar levels cause diabetes can cause many major problems later on if not checked or kept in control...............


    Also tell him the WORST CASE SENARIO is that he will not be with you for the later stages of your life but the moments that you live together will last a hundered life times as you two will fill it with so much love..............





    NOTE: I HAVE GIVE THIS ADVICE TO YOU ON THE FACT THAT YOU LOVE HIM UNCONDITIONALLY AND CANT LIVE WITHOUT HIM.........

    IF YOU ARE HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS

    OR

    SIMPLY WANT TO MARRY SO THAT SISTERS WEDDING IS NOT DELAYED THEN


    **PLEASE IGNORE ALL THE THINGS THAT I HAVE POSTED**
     
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  6. bchoppa

    bchoppa Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Pinky6 and Tarasharma. Thanks a lot for your prayers.
     
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  7. bchoppa

    bchoppa Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Quebec,

    Thanks for your valualbe suggestion. I really don't have any second thoughts. I made up my mind that i will marry my fiance only no matter what happens.
     
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  8. Quebec

    Quebec Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi,

    @bchoppa,


    you are amoung a rare breed of men and women in this world.............

    God bless you and your hubby and please post here when you have your 25th and 50th wedding anniversaries..........


    Take care
    chow
     
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  9. gulaal

    gulaal Bronze IL'ite

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    Its really an heart rending news. I feel bad for you n your fiance..

    The decision is in your hands. If you really love your fiancee, and would not regret of any outcome that might happen regarding the illness after marriage, then you should really go ahead with this marriage. However, this is not a practical advice, but sometimes emotions rules our decisions.

    It's true if you tell your parents, they will surely object to this marriage till things get clear, as no parents would want their daughter to suffer in future. But, it would be better if you tell your parents along with your final decision. T

    In case, you n your fiancee wants to get the marriage postpone, you may go for it. If you are worried about your sisters marriage, you can tell your parents to find suitable alliance for your younger sisters and get them married before you. I don't think there is any harm in this. All the best..
     
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  10. cutemonster

    cutemonster Platinum IL'ite

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    hi op
    I am really sorry that u had to face such a tough situation , now since u are sure u love and want to be with this guy only i will advice u to tell ur parents.
    In our hard times , our families can offer a lot of support.
    dont worry , these days with so much advancement in medical science , cancer is quite curable.
    at this time ur fiancee need u the most,he would be emotionally hurt and many thoughts would be going in his mind. ur love and support can help him alot.
    remember , prayers and faith can do wonders.
    my best wishes for u both!
     
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