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Marriage humor

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by manjumnair, Sep 1, 2007.

  1. manjumnair

    manjumnair Silver IL'ite

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    Different Phases of a man:
    After engagement: Superman
    After Marriage: Gentleman
    After 10 years: Watchman
    After 20 years: Doberman


    ------------------------------<wbr>------------------------------<wbr>------------

    There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
    There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it

    ------------------------------<wbr>------------------------------<wbr>------------

    Prospective husband: Do you have a book called "Man, The Master of
    Women"?
    Sales girl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
    ------------------------------<wbr>------------------------------<wbr>------------

    The world's thinnest book has only one word written in it: "Everything
    "and the book is titled: "What Woman Want!"

    ------------------------------<wbr>------------------------------<wbr>------------

    A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
    A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.
    A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND
    ------------------------------<wbr>------------------------------<wbr>------------

    Girlfriends r like chocolates, taste good anytime.
    Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
    Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice

    ------------------------------<wbr>------------------------------<wbr>------------

    Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
    Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
    ------------------------------<wbr>------------------------------<wbr>------------

    Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying &
    the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!

    ------------------------------<wbr>------------------------------<wbr>------------

    Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
    A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence
    ------------------------------<wbr>------------------------------<wbr>------------

    What men want: A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a woman who loves him & system to make sure that those 3 women never meet each other!
    ------------------------------<wbr>------------------------------<wbr>------------

    Lady 2 her maid: Oh Kanta, I have reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary."
    Kanta : I don't believe it! U r just saying that 2 make me jealous!"
    ------------------------------<wbr>------------------------------<wbr>------------

    Man: I want a divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months.
    Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get
    !
    ------------------------------<wbr>-------------------------

    The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother & said, "I've found a man just like father!"
    Mother replied, "So what do u want from me, sympathy?"
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake?
    Answer : On their Wedding !!

    ============ ========= ========= ========= =========
     
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2007
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  2. Sravanthi28

    Sravanthi28 Silver IL'ite

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    hi,
    nice quotes. Really enjoyed.

    Sravanthi
     
  3. rajmiarun

    rajmiarun Gold IL'ite

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    Hi manju,

    I was :mrgreen: in the beginning then after reading the entire post:rotfl .
     
  4. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    Enjoyed it!:smile:
    sriniketan
     
  5. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    hi,
    Enjoyed it.:rotfl
     

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