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Marriage For Us Citizenship?

Discussion in 'Immigration Matters' started by EagerForInfo, Sep 26, 2020.

  1. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    Usually it is the U.S. citizen who pays for the honeymoon.

    This part is often true. Most ill-intentioned marriages plod along through the grueling years of early parenthood until the brats become half reasonable human beings, and the parents begin to find the time to ponder on the sham that their marriage is.
     
    pocahontas likes this.
  2. nuss

    nuss Finest Post Winner

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    That rule will then be applicable both ways. No green card/citizenship for a woman marrying a US citizen either. Look around you how many women received the benefit of US citizenship because of their spouse.
    I am a US citizen and I would like to have the option of bringing my parents here if I wish. I am sure a lot of immigrants would like to have that option. My 2 cents!
     
  3. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

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    Your post irritated me on several levels. I met someone just like you once. The girl's parents want to be near her, she should be in the same STATE, in the same COUNTY, no more than 3-5 miles away from their house after she is married. BUT the boy's parents should NOT live with him after marriage. Why? Because he is going to get citizenship from her. Needless to say, I strongly objected to this arrangement. If you want a husband, be reasonable, if you want an arrangement, be reasonable about that too, but if you want to have the cake and eat it too, then good luck to you. Today I got the confirmation I wasn't thinking wrong at all. Thank you for this post.
     
  4. lavani

    lavani Gold IL'ite

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    Please stop , there is so much issues on Immigration, i do not know if you understand US politics.

    It has been 4 yrs they could still not get the tax returns of the head.

    Emotional rant on personal level is ok. this is i feel is terrible use of this good forum.

    So according you to Men who are rude to wife should be punished, so someone else brother's wife might be cheating on him. That lady will say women who are such should be punished.

    what is point on playing god. the adults involved in this can handle this well
     
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  5. deepthyanoop

    deepthyanoop Gold IL'ite

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    Eagerforinfo,
    You are mixing up marital issues and visa laws... If your friend’s husband is a bad person, that’s a different issue than visa laws.
    If your friend’s husband is abusing her, get help for that particular issue. Isn’t that easy other than trying to change the whole law?
    Also there are so many good people in US who got benefitted because of spousal visas, extended visas... So passing a law is going to affect them too.
     
  6. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    I strongly disagree with OP and her bizzare posts. But I wanted to say about this.


    With all due respect, what is the real issue- that the girl's parents will be in the same STATE, same COUNTY , 4 miles from her house- or
    that the boy cannot live WITH his parents after marriage?

    How does your post sound with the genders reversed?
     
  7. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    Each side being aware of their preferences, must-have's and nice-to-have's and making those clear before a match is finalized makes for less confusion and heartaches later.

    A man might want a stay-at-home wife who will take care of his parents from day one. A woman might want a husband who will provide for them life-long as she wants to be a home-maker. Such preferences need not be symmetrical. A woman's family might prefer a son-in-law who does not have unmarried sisters or whose parents will not live close to the married couple. The man's family might not have similar preferences. Their requirements might instead be good looking, educated daughter-in-law. It is like a man and woman share the household responsibilities equally without each doing 50% of each task.

    A U.S. citizenship still remains a coveted one. The crazy wait times for GC make it even more so. The side with the USC tends to have an upper-hand in the negotiations. I know of a woman with USC who goes to meet prospective matches in old t-shirt, jeans and flip-flops, hair in a hasty pony-tail, no make-up. She is in med-school and can barely make the time to meet H1 Indian guys.

    That is how things work in arranged (or even love) marriage. One side is willing to give in more, as the other has some hard to find quality. Such as in predominantly business communities, a guy with a professional degree and no plans to join the family business used to be a prized catch.
     
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  8. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

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    The issue is the CONDITION, why should they dictate how the couple should live? They want the boy to live with them, fine. Why should they dictate that the boy's parents should not come and live with him? I just did not like the dictation. And even if the genders are reversed, it still is bad. Except the couple nobody should dictate the conditions in a marriage. They can state an opinion, if they are going to pitch in, they can add conditions, but doing nothing in the marriage, they can't sit and dictate. They want a son-in-law/daughter-in-law, fine. They want toys then they can stop right there.
     
  9. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

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    I totally get what you are saying. Yes, a US citizenship is coveted, alright. But not more than relationships. Not more than parents. This one is nothing but human trafficking. I do this, you should do this for me. I gave you a citizenship, so do something else for me? Just because it is a woman dictating, it doesn't make it right. And I will say this, if a man says that, then too, the other party should back out immediately. Sorry, a GC and US citizenship are not worth cutting off relations and responsibilities. Also, the boy is in this case is nowhere near unqualified, he is from an Ivy league college, it was so annoying to see him tell them his designation, experience blah blah, almost like an interviewee to an interviewer. It was sickening to watch. Even if it was a woman doing this, I would still find it sickening. It is not about the parents coming or not coming, it is about having the remote control. That itself is annoying. My point is this, it is well understood that one of the parties is uncomfortable with parents living with the couple, that said they can address their concerns, discuss, but they can't outright reject the other's requirement because they just want to. They have to see the practicality aspect. What if the parents have no one to take care of them back home? How will they manage in old age? I know boy's parents do this, but that is not correct. It is very wrong. It cannot be made right by girls doing the same. A marriage should be built on understanding and compromises, not domination and power play.
     
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2020
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  10. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    It’s very common in India too it’s not new in arranged marriage at all.
    Thats why they call the first meeting with both families as “interview”.

    I feel it’s not offensive to ask designation and college.Just like any other girls parents they are obviously curious to know about the guy.

    Such discussions are common among both the families.

    Without knowing the details of both the guy and girl I have never seen any arranged marriages happening just like that especially when immigration is involved!
     
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2020
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