Marital Problem

tell your sister to ask her husband to first work on his stinginess abd shell oyt some money to consult a marriage councellor.....He needs to be diagnosed correctly for whatever problem ( mental / sexual) he has......Further action to be taken after due councelling sessions

 

No baby,strictly no. She is not a rehabilitation center. Let her focus on her career, get a grip on 'her' life and find a way out. A year already and its enough!

 

I totally assume she is in india. sad but true. this happens. some time men are not interested, some time it is hidden grudge of forcibly married.

As berry mentioned, all you can say to focus on career and then make concrete decisions.

 

It looks like it takes time for guys to grow up , even after marriage. Be it taking decisions, understanding intricacies in a marriage such as expectations from a spouse, etc. Some of my friends , have termed their spouses as "momma's boy', they fail to grow up. Their decisions are conciously or unconciously driven by the views of their Mother. I would say that for a marriage to succeed, MIL's play an important role. And if they have hidden intentions, the chances of survival is less , unless the DIL is ready to sacrifice ( But, the patience in this generation of women eventhough its notable , it's relatively less that that we saw in our mother's ). May be there should be classes or training for Guys before marriage , to make them aware oh how they can be manipulated

 

The so-called patience of previous generation women in this particular context is nothing to be emulated. It is true they handled things without standing up for themselves; instead of tackling the situation they became overly attached to their son, and he becomes mamma's boy in turn and the cycle continues ... "Kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi!"(sorry for non-English ).

 

Yes, indeed. The boy may also have a different sexual orientation.... and may have married to conform to expectations of mom, employer, and society. Like having a bigger "closet" to stay in.

The OP's story of the cousin-(sister) does not say how financially well off she/her parents are, and where her parents' home is. Or.. about the location (India or abroad) of son and his mom.

If "the girl" in the OP is from a poor family, they may have instructed her to stick to it, no matter what. They may look upon a quiet (he doesn't speak to her at all), non-contact (no physical abuse either), living away from mom (newly wed family love nest too...wow), computer-job husband as a good thing she must appreciate. And besides, who gives up in only one year ..eh? -- would also be the question.

If the girl in the OP is from a family that she wanted to escape (because of bad neighborhood, 1 bathroom/6people, parents always yell, siblings are intolerable, and many more pesky issues..), and she had done it through the marriage, it would be a personal decision on whether she should stay or leave.

No kids (and no physical contact from husband) could be the best thing she has going for her, while she plots her future.

 

PLEASE TELL HER NOT TO HAVE A BABY WITH THIS MAN.!! Can't stress on this more . I hope they used contraception this one time they had sex.
Counsel her that she deserves better and to GET OUT OF THIS MARRIAGE ASAP.

 

Just trying to add a couple of points, where things can go wrong for Him:

1. Sexual problems ( That either he is'nt aware , or aware but wanted to hide, or not prioritizing it to get it corrected)
2. Psychological Problems ( This is really tough to figure out )
3. Having a grudge ( Lets say you had a verbal argument with your MIL, he takes it to heart. he shows in different ways such as not having sex etc. Sometimes wife doesn't even know that he is doing that because of the grudge)
4. Peer/Societal Pressure ( This probably results when he compares to any of his/your relatives, siblings etc who is doing very well in life , but he is struggling to catch up with them)
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5. Work Pressure ( Extended hours , physically tired )
6. Hide something and divert your attention to some emotional issues that you will be occupied ( Ex: I heard about from one of my friend , where the guy was gay, but the drama that followed to hide that )

Please add more to this ...




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