Hi, After reading so many blogs and threads, I thought I will vent out my frusturations and experiences here! And thanks in advance for reading my lenghty post.Ours was a love marriage ..inter case, but same religion. I knew my DH for 5 years before marriage and had faced lot of issues with his parents before marriage itself...as they never approved of me wholeheartedly and always came with some issue...Like all DH, mine is also a Mamma's boy ( only son) and supported them most of the time always quoting that they are insecure because of me....My ILs are very much dependent on my DH financially..so thats DH's reason for ILs to fight with me.. Now its been over an year of marriage and almost 99% of our fights are because of my ILs which my DH refuses to believe ..Me and my DH are in one city while my ILs are in a nearby city ( 6 hrs travel max ).Also since my ILs are very much dependent on my DH fin, they are planning to move in soon, which I dont want coz am sure they will create more fights btwn us.To give a brief background... Abt me: I am from a family where we dont fight much and respect each other's privacy..am very indep by nature and very practical and frank and bold..I cannot shut my mouth when someone talks nonsense abt my family My DH: He loves me a lot ( now am not too sure)..he supports me in my work and at home and is very caring and helpful except when it comes to his parents... He has beaten me abt 4-5 times in this one year and this is only when i talk abt his parents ( their cunning ways) abt his parents to him.. when DH is angry, he talks nonsense abt me , my family and what not...( this was there bfre marriage...but toned down and now again its high).... MY MIL: Extremely cunning n manipulative..she separated her husband from his Mother and my FIL doesnt even visit his mother who is in her deathbed, thanks to my MIL...he has cut off all relationship with his siblings n all . Extremely possessve abt her son, my DH...has to talk to him every 2 hrs over phone ( we are in diff cities) else she fights with him saying that i have seperated him from her and thats why he is not picking up phone/talking... Beleive me ,,she did this in our Honeymoon...DH did not pick up call as he was playing chess with someone and she kept calling and he kept cutting the call..after few hrs she and my FIL started screaming:rant to DH that i have mesmerized him and all crap....cant believe anyone would talk like that to their son and that too just a few days after marriage...!! MIL is a drama queen...she claims she cannot sleep whenever he fights with her..cries every time she leaves our house and cries over phone that she misses him ( even though she sees him everymonth)...and does everything one can imagine.. Fights with her siblings, one by one and hten her parents and then me..and then the same circle again and again...She likes to control everyone and even tried to make me wear a saree of her choice in some marriage...this resulted in DH beating me and finally me wearing some other saree... FIL: He is a mouthpiece of my MIL. my DH has said this...he cannot think on his own.and does whatever my MIL tells him..cannot see reason..Each sentence that comes out of his mouth talks abt "Giving Respect to him" ..and fights with all relatives saying that they dont respect him.... The story so far Its been over a year of marriage and have had lots of fights due to my ILs...then in March/apr..after going through various blogs here..i stopped complaining abt my ILs to DH and started being very tactful and diplomatic when i was talking to my ILs..never gave them the exact answers on major decisions since that wud give them the opportunity to interfere and create fights between us...i started ignoring all comments and taunts and focussed on being a loving wife...this worked really well and DH even commented "i dunno if u have changed or pretending.but i love u more now'....this was all good till a month back when problems again started.. For our anniversary, my parents decided to visit us and i told DH a month bfre our anniversary abt this plan and also told that his parents can come bfre anniversary and leave after we celebrate...with 2 days overlap btwn my parents n ILs...DH agreed and called his parents who refused saying they would come later...Then just a week bfre our anniversary MIL cried that she wants to see DH and they cant come now coz of our parents and all..started blaming my parents for them not being able to spend the d-day with us..FIL started shouting over phone how dare my parents come without asking their permission as it was FIL's house ( since he is head of the house ) DH was arguing with them trying to reason out and inbetween started getting angry with me .i got very angry and called FIL and asked him if he could allow us to enjoy our anniv. to which he again started shouting at me/my family...I just responded"thanks for ur answer uncle, am keepng the phone, bye" and kept the phone... ( earlier ILs complained that i hung up phone without saying bye once) Later to DH i calmly reasoned that we gave them the option of visiting which they refused..things were find between me and DH... Our anniversary came and we cudnt enjoy it as ILs were calling DH every 1 hr and shouting at him for supporting me ...so even though my parents were here..we never enjoyed...and in between ILs called my parents and complained that i dont respect them and blah blah..i told my dad not to take it seriously..and DH was behaving very nicely with my parents so we were all fine. me and DH were happy together even though ILs were eating DHs head till my parents left.. Immediately on the same day my parents left, ILs came here..and were very silent did not talk much..the next day after i went to office, DH and ILs had a huge fights and DH and ILs did not speak to each other for the next 2 days..even though we were all living in same house...ILs did not speak to me also..though i was being the nice wife and asked my DH to patch up with ILs saying they are old...forgive...etc... After 2 days, they patched up and whne I returned home, ILs were acting as if nothing had happened and as if they are one big happy happy family...i got very irritated and angry after seeing their behavior as they did not even apologize or say anythign for runing our anniv..so i limited my interactions with them..DH got angry with me and when I told him the reason, he was like , the anniversary was spoilt for them also, and it was all due to ur parents,why should they apologize etc...i got very angry.ILs left 3 days back happily as their son was talking and thier fight is over. Now, DH was very angry that i did not speak to his parents properly and 2 days back when we fought again he beat me as i spoke badly of his parents( i said the truth which he was not able to digest) and again the next night we fought and he beat me again..he was saying on both days ' be submissive'..a wife should be submissive ( This is wat FIL says almost daily ..that a wife should be submissive otherwise family will not be good..blah blah)..the next day was my bday..which my DH did not even wish for ( i didnt expect him also with all the fights) and anyways now i dont know how to bring back things to normal..DH doesnt trust me ..when he was angry he was telling that i did this and that delibrately to my ILs ( which I did not..MIL manipulated those incidents..) I dont want to justify to my DH as am tired of justifying my actions everytime...to my DH and ILs but dunno how else to make my DH see reason... In short its been a week since my DH and i spoke to each other properly..and i still am angry that he beat me even though he promised last time over my life that he will not hit me again 1) should i also put drama like my MIL for each and everything 2) should i just be the loving wife and not complain and hope that DH trusts me? 3) should i fight dir with inlaws 4) am thinking of moving out of house when ILs come and fight next time..i can stay with friends..i think this will scare them and my DH and maybe not fight too much with me next time? 5) how do i make DH stop talking to them like 10 times a day? a month after marriage MIL complained to DH that he talks less now than bfre and he was talking 10 times a day then!! They call at night and at times at midnight and its very irritating no matter how much i try to ignore..they want to know each and every thing that he does and what i cook and what i do...its over an year and its not decreasing at all..even if he doesnt call they call and demand why he didnt call? talking daily is ok..but 10 times a day??? 6) How should i make DH not to hit me ever again..should i leave house for a few days or what should i do? maybe pretend to do self harm? Right now am just cleaning and cooking and talking to DH only to call him for food. he also doesnt talk to me while he talks every 2 hrs to ILs.. thanks for reading it all..pls advise!!