Manipulative Inalws

Goahead · Dec 17, 2023

I’m so tired of my inalws manipulations for the past 17 years . Husband and I have numerous fights for almost 15 years and for the past couple of years I just gave up on them all .

In-laws just expect us to spend money on them . They send gifts to sil and her kids but never here to our kids . Husband act so ignorant and is always praising his mother and sister . Sister is also very manipulative and insults me behind his back and is super nice in front of him. She never spends even a penny on us and husbands ignores that as well.
Though she is a bua , but she never sends gifts to our kids and on the other hand husband have been sending religiously for the past 10 years to her kids
Of course he never misses a beat on treating his mother and sister .

My mil is so smart and miser . She taunts indirectly to us in front of all the relatives , how we are suppose to give and treat her and sil .but not ashamed at all that she never send gifts to our kids but always finds a reason to treat sis inalws kids .

I’m sorry angry frustrated inside and want to end my relationship with them all . u have been giving for 17 years and even after that I haven’t got any respect because they have big egos as well . I’m suppose to spend money on them and treat their egos as well
My sil does t even call me directly on kids bday anniversaries etc .
It’s all a big facade that they all play in front of the husband . And he choose to fight with me if I say something .

also he treats my family bad . I feel that he’s just like his parents who wants to be treated like god but they have no obligations towards the other family .

I just hate them all now

I stay quiet but occasionally he will praise his sister mother or father and that send a wave of hatred in my heart for them and I feel that how can you think of them so nicely because of all the facade they are creating .

giw do you deal with husband who is not supportive when it comes to inalws . He literally treats them like god and my mil taunts my that her son will do whatever she tells him to .

drdiva · Dec 17, 2023

Difficult as well as very common situation at least here in IL..Just ignore them all and make something else your priority like job, kids, fun with friends , hobbies , fitness. I know its easier said then done..But thats the only option. Even hating these people will bounce back in terms of health issues etc.

nolife · Dec 28, 2023

Be happy that they are not living with you and making your life miserable.

Dishaa · Dec 31, 2023

Dear Op,

Here's my few suggestions, even I implement in my life.
1. No need to compete with husband family or anyone Just concentrate on your own. It is for your mental wellness.
2. Talk to your husband if you/ kids need anything (materialistic or emotional support), for your family running.
3. If you don't like or hate someone, don't give them space in your head or heart (they are the best place in our body). Try to become a neutral person, just concentrate on your life.
4. Don't get angry it will effect your health.
5. No need to be disrespectful to any one.
6. Love, respect and prioritize yourself first then think of anything else.