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Manipulative Husband

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by senoritaaa, Feb 8, 2020.

  1. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    I have met quite a few such guys, in my social circle and among my extended relatives. They seem to fancy themselves as budding stand up comedians or something. One common thing is all pick on their wives and keep us laughing in splits. I think this is solely to avoid problems. From their point of view, other than themselves or their wives, who else can they make fun of? they really cant make fun of anybody else there right? their FIL? Bil? SIL? That's disrespectful, cause problems, have repercussions and consequences, no? The only harmless, non repercussion topic is wife. But we all know the wives and know that this is basically exaggeration for the sake of humor blah blah and dont take them seriously. So there is that for you to consider. Actually in my extended family my aunts and uncles like all such guys who talk and keep atmosphere lively and light and laughing, they perk up when they arrive and ask what is next installment blah blah, otherwise my uncles say all come with long long faces and so serious and no one able to relax at all.
    Now from your point of view, of course if it is beginning to bother you you should speak up. First thing, tell your h nicely in private 'when you said x and y, I felt hurt, bad etc. Be specific. Tell him it bothers you. Ask him not to do that. Reason to do this first is you waited 12 years so pretty much this is habitual for him by now. And do continue to keep pointing out each time because they just dont realize. Second, at the gathering itself, keep a serious face if starts a story, dont laugh, dont giggle even if what he said is very funny, just imagine you are looking at an insect ( to keep the straight face) or walk away from the group and talk to someone else.
    step 3: retaliate and make fun of him, OR after he is done telling the story, shake your head and tell everyone there say 'my god he can make a big masala dish out of the simplest thing, he's the type if you give him raw chick peas he make chole masala types.'
    keep repeating 1, 2 and 3 sooner or later you can agree which topics are ok and which are not to be broached.
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2020

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