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Manipulative Husband

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by senoritaaa, Feb 8, 2020.

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  1. Feb 8, 2020 #1
    senoritaaa

    senoritaaa Bronze IL'ite

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    Married for 12 years....

    Does anyone has experienced your husband is so manipulative and he tries to say things so as to project you as bad /quarellsome/ don't take care of children, hus etc etc etc among your own relatives close circle probably during a marriage function..
     
    senoritaaa, Feb 8, 2020
    senoritaaa, Feb 8, 2020
    #1
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  2. Feb 9, 2020 #2
    Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    Standup comics do that.
    Rodney Dangerfield was famous for that in the 1970's; and various others adapted that, and made a living on that schtick.

    And after more women stand-up comediennes came into the gig, boyfriends and husbands are also roasted an equal measure.
    Sometimes even men roast themselves, like this one:
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2020
    Amulet, Feb 9, 2020
    Amulet, Feb 9, 2020
    #2
  3. Feb 9, 2020 #3
    1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    Is he saying it complainingly or jokingly? Like narrating a funny story which is actually funny but kinda shows you in a bad light, or outright complaining abut you? Sometimes I have seen men who are uncomfortable in the social situation, eg., they dont know the crowd very well, resort to talking about wife or kid just for the sake of something to talk.
     
    1Sandhya, Feb 9, 2020
    1Sandhya, Feb 9, 2020
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  4. Feb 9, 2020 #4
    Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Some husband's do that.
    Reasons
    They are just basically nasty.
    They don't love the wife or
    They may be angry at the wife for something
     
    Sunshine04, Feb 9, 2020
    Sunshine04, Feb 9, 2020
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  5. Feb 9, 2020 #5
    senoritaaa

    senoritaaa Bronze IL'ite

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    senoritaaa, Feb 9, 2020
    senoritaaa, Feb 9, 2020
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  6. Feb 9, 2020 #6
    senoritaaa

    senoritaaa Bronze IL'ite

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    He is an extrovert and very social .. So j am sure he is not doing this to cover up that
     
    senoritaaa, Feb 9, 2020
    senoritaaa, Feb 9, 2020
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  7. Feb 9, 2020 #7
    senoritaaa

    senoritaaa Bronze IL'ite

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    Thx. But in my case I am so confused. .. He behaves nicelyto me and does things like this behind my back . .such behavior during fights is understandable. .. But other wise also he does it. .
     
    senoritaaa, Feb 9, 2020
    senoritaaa, Feb 9, 2020
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  8. Feb 9, 2020 #8
    yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Your husband doesn't seem to have respect for you .

    Tell him if he ever embarrasses you like this ,you will insult him then and there.Keep some thing ready ....or if you can't do it...refuse to go out in public with him . Tell him you do not want to be his punching bag for a few claps.



    People like this love the public attention and adulation and loosing face might scare them from doing it .
    Nothing can stop him from bad mouthing you behind your back though.

    ⁸

    You can also try reacting at home by reminding him of his accusations.
    Eg....if he calls you lazy in public...be lazy and tell him since he has labelled you as such,you might as well enjoy the label. Be ruthless till he is scared of labelling you again .
     
    yellowmango, Feb 9, 2020
    yellowmango, Feb 9, 2020
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  9. Feb 9, 2020 #9
    MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Read up the definition of “gaslighting”.
     
    MalStrom, Feb 9, 2020
    MalStrom, Feb 9, 2020
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  10. Feb 9, 2020 #10
    Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    He doesn't respect you.
    Do what he labels you as.
    Be lazy and dont take care of him. Don't even cook for him.
    Don't go to any function with him unless he fixes himself
     
    Sunshine04, Feb 9, 2020
    Sunshine04, Feb 9, 2020
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    yellowmango likes this.
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