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Managing Household Chores With A Baby

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by shwetapj, Jun 6, 2017.

  1. shwetapj

    shwetapj Silver IL'ite

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    hi ils
    I am back with another set of problems. I am having my 8 month old daughter who is very clingy and hardly stays without me. The problem starts here. There is no one for help here as iam taking care of her all alone since her birth. I also don't have help for cooking but it becomes a Herculean task for me when my baby doesn't even leave me to go to bathroom.

    I wake up in the morning to cook but I end up preparing it late and my husband going late to office and unfortunately fighting on these issues. I am hardly getting any rest and m also sleep deprived. I cannot tell you about my schedule as it changes everyday.

    Please help me with suggestions to organise and plan my day so that I get enough time to rest and also spend time with my baby

    Thanks
     
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  2. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    Haha.. I can relate :joycat:

    Is it possible to get a maid? Atleast Someone who can come in for Just an hour a day or someone who can come in weekly once / twice or something to help around the house.

    Few options for this...
    Ask him to eat out.
    Make simple breakfast like a sandwich or cereal.
    Or make it the previous night and Just heat it in the morning.

    This is quite a challenging time. Don't try to do everything. Only do what you can. Tell your husband and explain the whole thing to him. If he can't pitch in with household, then you decide what or how you want to manage the household by yourself. N for the rest, say you can't do it. Don't try to please him or everyone around. Your health n your baby's health is the most important thing

    Maybe use disposables to reduce washing.

    Order food or Do meal planning and make food in advance for you n dh and put in fridge and Just heat n use. Not the healthiest option, I know, but makes your life easier till ur schedule gets better with the baby.

    Pre-planning of everything helps better to work around the house. Put a work chart, n do one thing (or more) a day. Make sure it's very doable.

    Your babies can feel your stress which can make them even more clingy or cranky than normal. So it adds more stress. It's a vicious circle. So don't fall into that. Relaxed n happy mom passes the same vibe to the baby which helps you in turn.
     
    silento likes this.
  3. BhumiBabe

    BhumiBabe Platinum IL'ite

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    If you have pack and play or something similar, you can use that to contain the baby while you are in the bathroom. I had a foldable crib that I just pulled into the bathroom, so DS would be inside watching me, while I showered or used the bathroom. I don't like wasting his nap time for things like that.

    You can try using a baby carrier to do household chores, but that never worked for me.

    For cooking, I cut all the vegetables ahead of time and store them in containers. Especially onions and tomatoes. I'm a slow cook, so I cook simple items, like dal and rice with veggie side (sometime sans veggie side), or chapatti and subji. Cook larger quantities, so you can have leftovers. I never cook in the mornings, because I simply can't. I end up cooking around 4-5, when my H comes home. And pack that up for next day's lunch as well.

    Housework, at least at this stage should be shared. It is tough to manage ALL the cleaning, and you really can't clean with a clingy baby (the fumes are very dangerous). Use a weekend, to clean the bathroom. If hubby's not interested in cleaning (like mine), make him take your daughter for a walk or out, so that you can have some time to finish this type of work.
     
    silento likes this.
  4. silento

    silento Silver IL'ite

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    I see two issues here, one related to cooking in morning and the other related to the baby's clinginess. The other people have given you good suggestions. Here are few things I can think of.


    1) Coking/ Household chores:


    For cooking instead of starting from scratch each morning, divide into batches and do them at different times:


    Dal: Cook dal ahead of time, add tadka the next day
    sambhar: cook dal and vegetables separately. Next day add powders and tadka
    Upma: roast the rava and cook veggies separately. Morning cook and add tadka
    Pasta: Boil pasta ahead of time, morning add sauce and veggies.
    cook food in bulk and freeze in pacakets: Only heat the ones needed.
    Make the masala/ coconut masala ahead of time
    ---you get the idea:

    Store bought rotis/chapathis/tortillas
    store bough idi/dosa batter
    Use frozen vegetables for making quick sabjis

    Do some quick cooking recipes: 15 minute dishes


    2) Reducing clinginess:


    Here are few suggestions from this website:

    The anxiety waking your baby up at night

    Leave the room but continue to talk or sing to your little one. Leave her for a few seconds initially then gradually extend the time so she gets used to you leaving and then coming back.

    Play peek-a-boo. This will help your little one learn that you can disappear but will return. You could start by covering your face with a book. When you go ''boo' make sure you are smiling and laughing.

    Play hide and seek in the room you are in. When you are hiding let your little one see you initially, then hide so she can’t, but continue to talk to her. Again greet her with smiles and laughter.

    Practice, ‘bye, bye’. Say, ‘bye, bye’ and wave then go out of sight and quickly and come back. Again, come back with smiles.


    Good luck !
     
    Lithika and BhumiBabe like this.
  5. chaaral

    chaaral Silver IL'ite

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    ask your hubby to take care of the baby for 1 hr. just cook the basics whatever u can in that 1 hr. let it all be mess. dont bother about cleaning etc. take it slow. your health and sanity is more important.
    i used to just use frozen veggies, dhal and rice. store bought roti and take outs.
    try to let ur little one play on the floor so in long run it will get easy for you.
    intially they will cry, they want you to carry or hold but eventually they will learn that mommy is busy.
     
  6. Sansee

    Sansee New IL'ite

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    I feel you need to get your husband more involved in helping you. Here is what I used to do. My kid was an early riser and I was not. My hubby was also a early riser. So when she gets up early he used to play with her for 10-15 min or so and allows me to sleep. Then we used to feed her milk or some solids and he will play with her when I did my cooking. I had a maid to clean vessels and do dusting and mopping. In the night try to sleep with your baby. This way you will get some sleep.
    Try to do some tasks in between when you kid plays or after your husband returns from office. Ask him to help you in simple tasks like cutting veggie or sorting laundry etc.
    Do not try elaborate dishes during weekdays. Weekends plan the meals for the hole week and stock the vegetables and grocery accordingly. Try variations in same dishes for variety- this will save you time and also not give your menu a repetitive feel. Like i used to make regular dosa. Add ragi flour in it one day and make ragi dosa, another day add wheat flour in it and make wheat dosa. Try upma with semolina, vermicily. Add tomatoes in them for a change. Just be innovative. Simple addition will not take time but will completely change a dish. Put mat in Kitchen and slow get you baby play there when you cook. Make sure the floor and shelves are safe. Keep talking to her. Initially she may play for 5 min only. Slowly she will play for longer time.
    Kids will be clingy at this stage, but dont worry gradually with planning you will be able to manage.
     

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