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Managing Finances!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by contented, Jul 1, 2010.

  1. contented

    contented Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Friends,

    This is a query for my cousin sister who is getting married in 1 months time. She is elder than me but since I got married before her, she asked me for some advice. Her question is "after marriage how do you manage your finances?"

    I havent given this any thought as of now, as I havnt worked after marriage. For all my needs/wants/desires I use OUR money i.e. the money DH earns. And my DH has always made me feel comfortable about the same.

    Now the problem is my cousin is working and plans to work after marriage too. She is fiercly independent. She has this habit of saying its her money and what her fiancee earns is his money etc. I told her to have the attitude of "our" money after marriage. She is some what scared of keeping all her earnings in a joint account. She says that she really trusts her fiancee but she wants to have her money at her disposal and doesnt want to be questioned about each and everything she spends. I really dont know what to advice her?

    How do you all working women manage your finances wisely? How do both you and your DH contribute towards running the household?

    -C
     
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  2. prsnfd

    prsnfd Bronze IL'ite

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    It is simple.... there should be 4 catogories of accounts...

    My Money
    His Money
    Our Checking
    Our Savings

    Putting a pre-determined agreed upon portion of each partner's salary in the Joint accounts should take care of all the finances.

    Just make sure that each individual needs to learn to respect the fact that only the joint accounts are shared...the other's private account are out of reach..and out of discussion!
     
  3. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Trust is build over time. Best thing is let them have separate accounts. But manage finances together. I.e household expenses, investments, spending etc. Anything together but both also will have money at tehir disposal to do what they want to . Yes she is right there should be some amount where both couple shouldnt have to explain it to anyone but spend as per their interest. However how much of such amount is spent without any explanation is also of concern, thats why sharing expenses and investments and contributing equal share in evrything is important. Down the line after few such years of equal contribution, people start opening joint accounts and take some money as pocket expenses and put it in their separate accounts.

    Every couple handles it differently. Each of them have to figure out a way as to what works best for them.There is nothing wrong in wanting to be independant but at the same time it shouldnt be like i will save all the money and wont share anything and the husband has to work and run the household. Being independant and taking responsibility are both important factors.
     
  4. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Contented,

    How are you doing?

    Pls. do them a favor and ask them both to jointly go and attend a Pre-marriage counseling with a Qualified Professional Counselor. She is fiercely independent you say, which is all fine - but it will immensely help if they do this counseling before getting married.

    Will save a lot of heartache later on if a professional can go over different areas of relationship not just financial with both of them.
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2010
  5. contented

    contented Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Prsnfd, Thanks for your advice... It sounds simple...I will put it across to her....

    -C

     
  6. contented

    contented Senior IL'ite

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    Thanks for your advice Srividya. Out of everything that you wrote, I think it is crucial that she understands this very well before getting married...

    Will definitely convey this to her

    -C
     
  7. contented

    contented Senior IL'ite

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    Hey Spidey I am doing good. How are you and how is the rest of the gang? I never see you all in the T thread anymore... If you PM them, tell everyone I miss you all and the T thread :-(

    Yes even I feel they must go for a premarital councelling. I will tell her this. I just hope and pray my cousin has a happy married life.

    -C

     
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2010
  8. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    Good to hear from you C. Get PM soon :idea And yes, best wishes to your cousin for a happy life.
     

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