Managing Alone Without Parents Post Delivery In Us

Discussion in 'Post Pregnancy Care' started by Bhanulakshmi, Jun 10, 2016.

  1. Bhanulakshmi

    Bhanulakshmi Bronze IL'ite

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    Hello ladies,
    Mydue date is oct 20th.
    Unfortunately i wont be having any of the elders with me in us during n post delivery.
    Wanted to ask if any of u managed without parents here .
    How far is it feasible.
    Husband helps me in cooking n house stuff.
    Lot of mixed opinions from many.Especially if there comes any unexpected complications during delivery.
    Also planning to go to india after few months post delivery.
    Please share ur experiences n give suggestions.tia:)
     
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  2. Avanti30

    Avanti30 Gold IL'ite

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    @Bhanulakshmi ,
    I can understand you as I am also having the same situation. My EDD is around Christmas this year and probably my parents won't be there with me during delivery.
    I was really scared about managing the things so started the thread about the same situation.
    However, let me tell you that from opinions I got here on IL and my friends, delivering without parent's help is manageable here in USA. I am sorry that I do not have a solid experience yet to support this claim, but I have been affirming a lot to me that I can do it. YOu have also mentioned that your husband is helping and cooperative, which is a good sign.
    I am going through various blogs, Pinterest etc. to gather the information.

    I am sure all will go well for you. Stay strong and you can do it.
     
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  3. Bhanulakshmi

    Bhanulakshmi Bronze IL'ite

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    Congratulations Avanti...
    n thanq for ur words of encouragement. They boosted my confidence too:)
    I had read few posts earlier on this and whoever managed alone said its doable.
    But most of the friends here to whoever i said i m pregnant and parents wont be able to come,almst 70% said its difficult.
    i know i shouldnt listen to their discouraging words but some or the other time,whenever my mind is free,these words keep flashing in ma mind.
    jst staying strong that i can do it and planning to keep all options ready like nanny n all.
    once again thanq n take care:)all d best for ur delivey too
     
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  4. spice

    spice Bronze IL'ite

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    Congratulations on your pregnancy. Do not fear if parents are not around post delivery. Bets part is you have a supporting husband. See if your husband can take atleast 2 weeks off or some work from home.

    If affordable, look for some help while your DH is at work. Someone who can cook, clean and do baby's laundry atleast. Get yourself some easy shopping access like Amazon, where you can get stuff delivered to your door in 2 days, especially diapers.

    Post delivery whenever your DH is home, try to rest as much as possible. Some days will be difficult for you or your DH, but at the end when you see that face, all will be worth it and that will give you more strength to handle things alone.

    Have a Happy pregnancy!!
     
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  5. Bhanulakshmi

    Bhanulakshmi Bronze IL'ite

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    thank you soo much yaar,
    gathering lot of confidence frm all u wonderful ladies...
    husband would be taking off for a minimum of 2 wks post delivery...
    so a bit relaxed with dat thought....
     
  6. dimhere

    dimhere Gold IL'ite

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    Hello,

    Congratulations to both @Bhanulakshmi and @Avanti30. In the last 6 mnths, I have seen two women successfully have a delivery in the US here without the help of any elders. Their babies are now happy and healthy, and I love watching them!

    One of them even has an elder kid, and managed his schedule also with the new baby. It is totally possible. Slightly easier if you have a normal delivery, but even with a C-section, it should take you an additional few days to get into a routine.

    I would suggest building a support network around you. Friends, neighbors, who can drive, who can pick up something for the house OTHER THAN your husband. Of course, your husband should help around and be supportive.

    Remember, cooking simple meals and eating well are the only two "jobs" that are absolutely necessary for you. All of the baby's work is important: feeding, bathing, napping, hygiene, doc's visits. A clean house, perfect laundry, and spotless kitchens can wait. So just know how to prioritize. The busy days will pass by in a second, and the good days will become lifetime memories.

    When you look back at this stage in your life much later, the sense of accomplishment will be immense. You will be amazed and inspired that you did such a good job yourself!!

    All the best to you both, and have a safe and happy delivery! God bless your little ones!
     
  7. vidhyalakshmid

    vidhyalakshmid IL Hall of Fame

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    I managed my delivery that too c-section without any one from India. Ofcourse my husband helped in the household work. He was also working from home. Before delivery due date you can do some cooking and freeze or refrigerate them.If I thought about it now, how I managed that time. Time shall pass quickly.
     
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  8. Bhanulakshmi

    Bhanulakshmi Bronze IL'ite

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    thanq soo much dimhere...
     
  9. Bhanulakshmi

    Bhanulakshmi Bronze IL'ite

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    thanq soo much vidhya...
    do u have any list of food u prepared and frozen post delivery...
    after c section hw many days it tuk u to do normal household stuff....
    n during the recovery time,wat r the tasks u kept dng ....
     
  10. blindpup10

    blindpup10 Platinum IL'ite

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    Congrats Bhanulakshmi on your pregnancy.
    I dealt my post pregnancy ( c-section, my first baby ) alone too.
    It's not scary, you can pull through it. However, the routine and hormones can make you feel a bit overwhelmed.
    1.If your delivery is natural you will be in the hospital for 1-3 days if it's C- sec 2-5 days. The nurses will teach you how to hold the baby and give him a bath, how to handle the baby. Make sure you ask a lot of question and get your husband involved in changing the diaper and to learn everything to do with the baby. The hospital staff is very encouraging and helpful here. Some hospitals have lactation consultants and have video that you can watch ahead of time, for the baby to latch on. It had watched it ahead of time and it was helpful once my baby arrived.
    2. Get on amazon and do a baby registry, it helped me a lot to keep track of the products to purchases for the baby ahead. Purchase most of the baby products ahead of time.
    3. Look for a good Pediatrician ahead of time, I even went to the pediatrician office and spoke to them 2 months before my baby was due. You can give your pediatrician's contact at the hospital.
    4. I had to register myself at the hospital ahead around the due date your OB/GYN will guide you, do all the arrangements ahead.
    5. Pack a suitcase right around 7-8 month.
    6. Have a reputed milk formula I got Enfamil/ Similac infant formula ready.I had bought Enfamil infant formula as a precautionary measure (it might take few days for the milk to flow). It helped me quite a bit, helped my husband not running to the grocery the min we got home from the hospital.
    7. Set up the babies crib/ stroller/car seat (This was the last thing my husband n I did around 8 month) I did it pretty late, coz I was not sure if I would like the brand that I had bought and if I wanted to change it just in case if I didn't like it.
    8. Also, look into breast pump, try to get one, it will be your life saver. Every insurance provider will provide it for free. Order it around 7-8 month, coz if it doesn't work you can return it again.Breast pump will help you pump milk and store it in the fridge. At 0-3 month babies need to be fed every once in 2 hours and you dont have to feed him all the time. Your husband can take some turns to feed him.
    9. You will be given some pain meds for both natural or C-sec. So don't have to worry about the pain, I was able to stand and cook the very day I got back home from the hospital. Trust me I am the kind who cries for the smallest cut. If you are not confident about cooking, dont stress, find out any desi cooks who can come home and cook food for you. You will definitely find them, they can come home once a week and cook food for a whole week. I was in half mind to follow my family post pregnancy diet (pathya); I only did it because I felt it was easy to cook with the pain meds.
    10. I followed post pregnancy diet ( pathya in Kannada) my food was basically bland with very less salt and no daal. So, I was basically cooking two meals every day, one for me and one for my husband ( My husband was too overwhelmed to do anything apart from breathing and getting used to him being a father). My husband took off 1 week to be at home and seriously he was out shopping for the most time.
    11. the first 3 months of your baby, it's a breeze if your baby doesn't get colic. Luckily mine didnt! My baby slept throughout the first 3 months and I had the chance to do everything.
    12. My motto was if the baby is happy everyone in the house is happy! And do all your research about baby products ahead n purchase it. My husband and I went to birthing classes too. These classes proved to be so important! I learned so much about women's body and pregnancy more than my mother or grandmother giving advice! I would seriously ask you to participate in one of those.
    13. Don't worry about any complications, your OB/GYN will keep a good track of your health. You will be seeing your OB every once in 4 weeks and after the 6th month, you might start seeing her every 2 weeks and almost close to 7-8 month you will see her ever week. The OB's are top notch here.
    14.Dont worry about cleaning or tidying up the house, get a maid service. They will come every once a week and tidy everything up for you.
    15.Sleep when the baby sleeps!!! Can't stress enough on this!! SLEEP and SLEEP more. If you don't have enough strength or sleep, trust me the house gets unpleasant.
    16. I haven't traveled to India yet, so I don't know much.
    P.S- There are so many articles which can help you and your husband to be ready for the child, make sure your husband reads it too. Our hospital had given us a baby helpline number that we could call and ask them any question about the baby after you bring him home. Maybe your hospital has one too.. do all your research and save all the phone numbers.
    Good luck, if you have any questions/ doubts. Message me. I will be glad to help. My little champ is 9-month-old. Congrats again.
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2016
    sindmani, Meet9, Vasumathy and 2 others like this.

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