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Management Styles

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Reenae, Jan 21, 2008.

  1. Reenae

    Reenae Bronze IL'ite

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    MANAGING BY WALKING FASTER THEN THE EMPLOYEES
    These kind of managers you will always see in the corridor, ten steps away. "We'll have to talk" you can hear them say, just as they have disappeared around the corner.

    2) MANAGING BY STARING OUT OF THE WINDOW
    These managers you usually meet with their backside faced to you with their hands in their pockets. When you talk to them, their thoughts keep staring out
    of the windows.

    3) MANAGING BY POST-IT'S
    Some managers forget everything. They want to impress you with their 'busy'ness by continuously writing on Post-it's while you are talking.

    4) MANAGING BY DELEGATION TO THE SECRETARY
    These managers just delegate everything to the secretary. If He is good, He knows what she must do.

    5) MANAGING BY KNOWING NOTHING
    These managers don't really know anything at all. They let YOU give answers. Meanwhile they fill the time with nice anecdotes of irrelevant cases.

    6) MANAGING BY CONCEPTUAL THINKING
    These people try to explain the present from a theoretical view of the far future. The idea that this never will work, completely satisfies them: They will always have something to talk about.

    7) MANAGING BY HIDING INFORMATION
    Information hiders are aware of the market value of strictly secret kept information. You must be very thankful to get any information at all. Beware of simulants from category 5!

    8) MANAGING BY DOING EXACTLY WHAT THE BOSS SAYS
    These managers prevent their bosses from creative thinking. Else they got more work to do.

    9) MANAGING BY WALKING ONE FOOT BEHIND THE BOSS
    In hierarchical organizations you can watch those groups walking in the corridor. The more equal managers are directly followed by the lesser equal managers, and so on.

    10) MANAGING BY SMILING AND WEARING NICE SUITS
    If you drink beer with them, lunch with them, smile to them and also wear nice suits, nothing can stop your career anymore.

    11) MANAGING BY STUDYING
    Despite their continual attendances of all kind of studies and congresses, they still belong to category 5. The longer they learn, the further they get from
    the practice.

    12) MANAGING BY CREATING VAGUE OVERHEAD SHEETS
    Do you know them? Those sheets with some big arrows, boxes or circles? These sheets provide the ultimate proof of their overall brilliance.

    13) MANAGING BY OPEN DOOR AND EMPTY ROOM
    This is a major improvement of the older 'OPEN DOOR' management style. Now you can really walk in and out anytime you want. Nobody ever knows where these managers are.

    14) MANAGING BY SPEAKING WITH OTHER MANAGERS
    This kind of managing is very popular. It will give them within a few hours the same information as an employee can tell them in 15 minutes.

    15) MANAGING BY HAVING A NON SUPPORTING INFRASTRUCTURE
    In an organization with a hopeless infrastructure, managers are really necessary. These managers will naturally prevent the organization from having a better infrastructure.

    16) BUA MANAGEMENT ( BY USING ABBREVIATIONS )
    This management style is ATRASACWOC. ( Adopted To Reach A Shorter And Clearer Way Of Communication )

    17) MANAGING BY USING BUZZ WORDS
    These managers like to bluff your head off with hip, nearly undefined, terms.

    18) MANAGING BY REORGANIZATION
    If they think there is nothing more to organize, they reorganize.

    19) MANAGING BY BELIEVING
    These managers must be spiritually educated, because they have no clues at all.

    20) MANAGING BY FORGETTING PROMISES
    If you remind them to one of their promisses, the priority of that promise is too low to remember.
     
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