Mami, Tumko Salaam

satchitananda · Mar 6, 2012

This is a tribute to the courage and dedication of one "ordinary" woman. A woman who I am proud to say is my Mami. An 80 year old woman whose abilities and strength was hidden all these years.

My Mama passed away this morning. He was 85. He had been very ill for the last few years and the last two years were spent in a state where he could not recognize anyone - not even his own wife. His kidneys were not working well and he kept getting lung infections and was constantly in and out of hospital. They have no children. So it was upto my Mami to take care of him single handedly with the help of a male nurse at home.

My Mami is not very "educated". She has lived all her life under the shadow of her pil and my Mama. Everything was taken care of by them and she did not have an existence beyond the kitchen and home. Things changed when Mama took ill and she had suddenly had to take charge of everything - finances and the works. How she did that is a mystery to me, but SHE DID. She single handedly managed him at home even when he was delirious and abusive in that state.

Today after he passed away, I called her up. Her first question was "How are you doing"? Then she casually told me "Mama passed away this morning". She expressed her wish to do his last rites for him and did. Her brothers who came for the funeral left straight after it was over. The lady is left alone at home. Fortunately for her, she has a neighbour who has been a social worker and is there for her all the time. I spoke to her again just now. She sounded so composed.

I only pray that she is able to handle this and develops some hobbies or interests of her own so she is not left at a loose end. I do hope I get onto my feet soon, so I can get her here and keep her with me for a while.

Hats off to her courage, hats off to her dedication and devotion to her duty.

mums · Mar 6, 2012

May his soul rest in peace.

I am glad to know that you will take care of maami.

Hope your doing good Ma'am.

iyerviji · Mar 6, 2012

Satchi dear sorry to hear about your mama's death. May his soul rest in peace. May God give courage and strength to your mami to face the situation. Wish you all the best to recover soon and be of help to your mami.

periamma · Mar 6, 2012

Satchi sorry to hear your Mama's death.I pray the Almighty to give courage to your Mami.

mansimahi · Mar 6, 2012

My heartfelt sympathies.

Satchi, your mami is a fine example of how some soft, unassuming women show incredible strength under extraordinary circumstances. Unfortunately, they become strong under trial by fire.... their survival instincts come to fore to find their way in unforeseen path. It is amazing that she enquired about your own well being when she surely must have felt lost and alone. My salams to your mami too....for being who she was both as a wife and as an inspiration to us.

Kamalji · Mar 6, 2012

Dear Satchi,

A sad anda wonderful story of courage of someone clse to u. What a man can do, a woman can do better, what better illustration there can be than yr own mami . poor thing what she must be going thru, all these two years, and now also when all have left.

Can people and relatives be that callous to attend the funeral and go away, cant they stay with her, console her, make her feel they are there for her ? what is this world coming to , Satchi.

give her my loves, and tell her she is not alone, that u are with her.

What a lady, hats off to such a wonderful woman.

Regards

kamal

kkrish · Mar 6, 2012

Dear SatsA very nice to read about your Maami. I admire her grit and strength. My condolences on the loss of your Maama.

I am also mourning the loss of a lady I admire(d), my maternal grandma who passed on a few days ago. She must have been close to 90, no formal education. But the strength and power she showed till the end was something I keep ruminating over and over many times. I am glad I had the opportunity to see her an year ago.

I can go on and on but as this is your thread I'll cut short.
Thanks for sharing.

Arunarc · Mar 6, 2012

Dear Satchi
Nice to read about your Mami, Sad about your mama many his soul rest in peace.
Some relatives are really heartless. Poor thing she is managing everything on her own. Let Lord give her strength.

knbg · Mar 7, 2012

Dear Satchi.....

Your Mami is really a 'woman of substance' and deserves 'salaams' from us....:thumbsup..

My prayers for the departed soul dear....

Your post reminded me of a tamil story I read long ago....

It goes just like this......
An old lady who is beside the death bed of her husband would cook sumptuous lunch.....feed her sons and grand kids......tell her sons to start organizing for the final journey...giving them tips on who all to contact for the final rites...and who all should be informed after the demise.......the DILs scorn and ridicule her...but, she quietly gets the small bottle of 'ganga jalam' holy water and feeds her DH chanting 'Sri Ramajayam'......then gets to the kitchen...mixes rice and tries to gobble a big hand ful of rice.....chokes and passes away....just at the same moment when her DH too starts his heavenly journey.....

My ...:bowdown...to your mami....