Please please please stop the marriage. You are writing something that I just experienced over these months. No good, girl; it's a big red flag. Marriages shouldn't happen under materialistic reasons. I live in the UK and my husband lives in the US (we both are not PR's though). Ours was arranged and his parents had very high demands from us. But me being the only daughter, my father always did his best. Mine is a tambrahm wedding, done for two days. The wedding expenses alone came up to 27L for my parents (when initially we only expected it to come around 15L; the expense is excluding the jewellery my parents gave me). His parents interfered into everything though they din't pay even a penny for the wedding. All along my husband never stood by me, he only said that it's part of the traditions and I should leave for the parents to deal and remain silent. My husband was naive and a mute spectator. Even then, my in laws were desperately interested in knowing how many sovereigns of gold and silver I'm going to come with. Now, I realise that he is equally interested in materials; though he never openly appeared that way before. The only time when my husband stood by me was when my mil demanded I give all the jewellery to her to be kept in her locker. I denied saying it should be in my locker in my hometown. this conversation came up on the same day I was engaged and officially registered. I have no clue yet what made my husband support me that day, but remain silent all the other days. His parents are extremely money minded and his mom threw a fit with me just before the wedding that how could I spend for the candid photographers, mehendi by myself instead of asking my parents to pay for it. This is the scenario:Apart from the engagement ring families bought for each other, he got me a Tiffany ring for 13000$ as the proposal ring. Our r'ship started all rosy, he came down to meet me and proposed me with the ring. That was the first ring I had even before the official engagement. His parents were totally pissed off with him that he emptied most of his savings on the ring for me. They were constantly telling him that he shouldn't have done that without knowing if the girl's side will reciprocate the same way. (Reciprocate?) It is for this very reason, his parents openly said that, our son spent 8.6L just on the ring and for that make sure you do not let us down in the marriage. The sickest thing i did was to get officially registered the same day I got engaged this jan, though my ceremonial marriage took place in June this year. I had to switch to the US with my student visa on time as i was going on a fellowship from the UK, hence the need to get registered in jan to be able to join my university in June right away after my wedding. Otherwise, I would have had an easy way out. After engagement he went back to the US, and with his jet lag he ran his car over a side pavement. I really have no clue what's with the insurance thing in the US but he said he was not going to be covered up and he had to pay 7000$ from his pocket. His mom straight away told him to get the money from me as we were already registered, I am liable to help for any financial issues he may face. He asked me for help but I denied because the savings I had, I was planning to pay for the candid photographers and help my parents to some extent with the wedding. He threw a fit with me that I'm supposed to help, but I constantly denied. He informed his mom about our fight and she was very silly to come to me and ask why are your parents so cheap to do a wedding with their daughter's money. Really? while I was planning to give away 4-5L, when the budget was crossing 25L; how could they say the wedding is being done with my money. My dad overheard this and without understanding that they are very much money-minded, he only said that we are not cheap as you think and we won't take even a penny from our daughter. My father passively gave in only because I was already registered; otherwise I'm sure we were all almost getting convinced to walk away from the alliance. My parents didn't take even a rupee from me and I was very very very guilty about it. To date, his mom and I have fits over the money issue. She complains to my husnband that she chose a wrong, poor family for him and is ashamed of it. And my husband also gets equally influenced by her. She compares me to his cousins, neighbours and say we had given less for the wedding. SIlly my husband, at times comes to me saying we have not met their family status. Because they know that i have money left in my account, they are trying every possible way to loot it away. Despite me giving generously my share for our new apartment in the US, to buy all new stuff for the house, they are still not being in content about it. I earlier believed that my husband is from this generation and would stand against these material values. He was mute but I understand now that he silently encouraged his family to demand for it. But soon after the registration, he seems to tag along with his mom claiming it's part of the traditions, customs and I'm supposed to do it. When a man cannot stand up against his parents for their flaws, he will be of no good in anyway (sorry for being harsh here). It won't take your BF to nod his head later for everything his mom demands and at the end your relationship will only be measured on the scale of material values and not based on love or respect. Don't fool yourself like I did to myself. I WAS STUPID. Now, I have gone to the extent that I am applying for the divorce., partly for dowry reasons. Wake up girl, please! My husband is genuinely attracted to his ex yet and I'm battling against it already. When I take this issue to my in laws, they are of NO USE, and they are very much in support of his activities. Once the chemistry between you and your mil is already strained, in future even if you and your husband are going to deal anything toxic together, they won't be by your side even for good reasons. That's not how you start a family, trust me. I did the blunder by believing that if the man is alone right, that's more than enough. Marriages are constructed with two families coming together for mutual love and respect, and they cannot pull the bride's weight down by demanding way too much from them. Once you start feeding them, you will be bound to do it until you die. So do not blindly go ahead with this marriage only under the belief that your BF is at least good, or you expect him to be good now, or you believe you love him. If he really loves you, he should stop all those so called 'gifts' right now and still be able to accept you. You guys are in love, so love should give you an upper hand in this issue. Mine was arranged so I couldn't expect my husband to openly come out supporting me. My two cents- don't start a marriage with in laws who are materialistic, and don't give in yourself for a man who is passive for his parents cruelty. Never too late, get out.