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Maintaining maids/servants Issues dealt

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by dhivyacc, Jun 19, 2013.

  1. dhivyacc

    dhivyacc Silver IL'ite

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    I want some guidance from you people friends...
    I hav a son going to ukg & 3 months old kid. am at chennai
    as of now am at my home - me , spouse ,2 kids and a servant from my mother's home.we had her there to take care of kids and doing household chores.
    we made her to come for a month... she will do the available works like cooking + folding clothes, washing kid's cloth daily, this is main and along with that she wil do wat i ask for .. like occasionaly to giv bath for elder son, or to feed food for him.
    i thought to keep her for some more months and found she plays double game infront of me one, and infront of my spouse.
    she portrays herself a very good women and am not obeying her , one eg is she asked me to drink sukku coffee, but i drank only normal tea which is bad for health and feeding.
    i knew that its bad, weekly once or thrice i use to drink tea due to headache. she bought that sukku coffee for her cold and cough problem, in turn i gave money to buy that.
    she says to my spouse that i told n number of times that its not good for her, but she is not listening ..etc.
    in the same way in kids work too, why ma i will take care you go and eat or etc but i only know what she thinks and he doesnot know.
    i will tell a menu for cooking but somehow she will change and will question me why not this gravy , today you eat, its very good , you will understand...
    like this more and more...
    but as of nowi cant manage all works by me,so am not telling anything to her and just keeping. i want to have her for one more month , but i doubt now, because of her some fights may arise....
    i have a seperate maid for cleaning and vessels cleaning..she tells faults on her as well and says how perfectly i do.. you know na like that...

    i dont know , shall i have her.. i thought of joining back to work after 3 more months... so i plan to have full time maid who takes care of small kid in home ...
    will the same issues again arise?
    give some inputs for me in managing the maids/servants...
     
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  2. amnilakshmi

    amnilakshmi Gold IL'ite

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    Managing maids is the toughest task i have seen.. I have decided to take care of all the household chores without a maid's support.
     
    sindmani likes this.
  3. Dinny

    Dinny IL Hall of Fame

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    your maid is very opinionated i would suggest you change her immediately and keep another one ASAP so that you have more time in hand to check the new maid before joining your work back.
     
    sindmani and dhivyacc like this.
  4. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Dhivya, I agree with Dinny. Its time to change her. Dont have to do it right away. Start looking at other options and keep the word out that you are looking for a fulltime maid for when you join back work. Its always better to get the permenant one sooner so that she will get used to staying with the baby and the baby will get used to her.
     
    sindmani, Dinny and dhivyacc like this.
  5. dhivyacc

    dhivyacc Silver IL'ite

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    its correct Dinny & Rakhi...
    Today also am frustrated.. she prepared some sukku coffee for him even before he wakes up... while she come to see whether he got up or not, I was feeding my son.. she has seen me.. usually I drink a glass of milk. some days she use to give,, she stopped that as well... this week, she is not doing , after I fed him, I boiled and drank....

    my parents sent her to take care of me and help me.. she wil pack lunch for my spouse and will nt do for the kid, I asked her, she said she don't know. moreover while I do, she use to suggest me ,put like that and this...this is how I use to give for my grandsons(3 mem) . I really shocked..

    I dint say its wrong to do for spouse, but she can consider all the three as 1. that s my expectation.

    but she is asking , why are you not speaking to me as like before... I came here for you only right...... etc...

    the only thing is , I have the doubt whether I can handle the kids and maintain the home , if yes , I will stop having her.. anyway she will be here for 10 more days , till end of this month. so am just keeping quiet......

    yes told my dad to look for another full time maid... that seems good
     
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  6. golumolu

    golumolu Silver IL'ite

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    She is becoming over smart. I suggest you change her immediately. First try to find someone ..you check the work of new maid for few days and when you get satisfied..get rid of this maid..While calling other maid you can tell this one that you are hiring 1 more to reduce her burden.

    I also have a full time maid at home who takes care of everything including my 16 months old DD. She does most of the house hold chores under my guidance. How i do is i tell her to prepare this this in lunch..X X in dinner and she follows same routine..There are some problems though like she watches TV all the day while i come for work but we cannt do much as i leave my DD with her. So overall the setup is working somehow.
     
  7. beingloved

    beingloved Gold IL'ite

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    Give her a subtle warning. If she still carries on with her opinions, then look for a new help.
     
  8. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Dhivya, with 2 children at home, its easier if you have help, though not impossible to do without one.

    Now, till the time you find another maid, I say, make a list of things about what you want from her. Probably setting the expectations is not done properly before hiring her. Make a list for yourself, small things also included:

    1. Pack lunch for husband
    2. Pack for the kid
    3. Make coffee/ tea/ Milk
    4. Cut the veggies
    5. wash kids cloths

    etc

    you get the gist right? If she can read, give the list to her and establish the expectations. There is nothing to be ashamed of. You are paying her and you have a right to set the expectations. See if things work. Also, gently suggest that you dont like advises given without being asked. That you will ask her if she needs advises.
     
  9. dhivyacc

    dhivyacc Silver IL'ite

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    hi Rakhii, its a good idea. moreover we said and she too doing the same in my hometown.. even after coming here to Chennai.. anyway I talked to her yesterday night stating the works... and she too agreed upon.. anyway this will be for around 2 weeks only, after that she will be going to hometown.. and later when I join back , I will look for a new person.. that will be good.. because of servants, family relationship should not be affected. but known devil is better than unknown angel, am praying god the new comer should work and do things properly....
     
    1 person likes this.
  10. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    New one will be good, dont worry Dhivya. Just ensure that this time, make sure to write down everything, like all the expectations and tell the maid clearly what you need to be done. If she has concerns, she can discuss it then.
     
    2 people like this.

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