Maintaining Friendships

Hridhaya,

Nice member name and nice signature. You are very wise to be proactive in this matter.

As a rule of thumb, I would suggest:
- Do not talk about any thing going on between you and husband
- Talk about kids, but take it slow. Perhaps you both will go on to be a good source of help/support to each other, but let that happen with time.
- Do not overdo the meetings. Aim for a healthy medium.
- Try to have more meetings where one of you supervises both kids, rather than each meeting meaning both kids and both moms are present.
- Encourage your child to have other friends too.
- Do not talk about the children and school matters in front of them.
- Keep the phone calls frequency and length to a nice medium level.
- Don't turn it into a family friendship (husbands)
- Once in a while meet without the kids, outside (not at homes)
- Do not exchange info about kids' grades and performance till you are closer to her
- Do not compare the kids. Don't tell one, "See, how well she is reading, drawing.."
- Be prepared for times when the other kid will outshine your kid and jealousy will rear its head and saner sense will immediately prevail too.

Give it at least 6 months before you take it to the next level. And, as it often happens with girls, as they grow older, they tend to make new friends. So, be prepared for the possibility that the kids will grow apart but you moms remain friends.