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Ma, Me & Boxing Day

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Thyagarajan, Dec 26, 2019.

  1. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:
    Ma, Me & Boxing Day :hello:

    Oh my fragile Ma, at 88+ you left us this Boxing Day - a decade ago - without showing any signs of departure.

    Post your hip surgery, ceramic ball replacement in your hip joint, you gave an impression of convalescing. You never disclosed the real reason that caused fracturing of your hip-ball-joint excepting the dubious version that you had fallen from the cot.

    A month and a half prior to surgery, you were agile busy during the Navarathri festival exchanging betal leaf arica nuts and gifts among your numerous friends in the neighbourhood.

    Yes - on Saraswathi Pooja Day Monday, September, 28th, 2009 early morning, you had gone out freshly attired in your favourite yellow silk green bordered saree with already packed sundal in dabba in your yellow cloth bag to seek blessings of a senior sumangali lady in her nineties.

    It was heavily raining but yet much against your DIL’s wish , you proceeded out to attain your goal ; you managed to go and later I heard that you rode pillion with another friend on pot-holed and slushy road made of red sand. You returned around ten o’clock with sundal ( a preparation of pre soaked overnight kabuli channa steam cooked) and lovingly shared it with dad, DIL, me & your grand children.

    You were slightly limping which you attributed to ‘gas’ at knee joints. You relaxed on the cot closed to dad; a while later, complained of pain in the groin and on the outside of the hip. Spouse & I, noticed discolouration in you left thigh.

    We called ambulance and in few minutes on a stretcher you were trundled to van proceeded to nearest hospital ‘Rakshit’. Spouse reminded me to gather all your medical files including the one containing details reports of ‘pace maker’ that was implanted a decade before.

    You heard me and spouse asking with concern several questions to doctor about implanted pace maker. You also heard orthopedic surgeon,
    holding an x-ray against illuminated box, lectured about the site of fracture and immediate need to carry out a surgery for replacing the broken hip joint with ceramic ball. After a while you know a local rep of ‘pace -maker’ supplier & pulmonologist associated in further discussions with doctor.

    Next day, at 5 am an orthopedic surgeon exited from operation theatre with his team, shook hands with me announcing successful implant of ceramic ball in your left hip-joint. From time to time I fetched from blood bank located afar, fourteen bottles of blood for transfusion.

    You were shifted to ICU and your consciousness returned to you by late evening. You looked at me & spouse softly winking with enormous kindness while a tear-drop running off your cheek. A female nurse took from my hand the orange juice in a tall glass and began to spoon feed you.

    Two days later when you were shifted to the deluxe room, you were made to look bright, cheerful and resplendent by a nurse tending to your rich black and grey mixed tresses tumbling over your face and treated you to a towel bath.

    Your countenance was aglow, voice exuding confidence. You were wheel-chaired to physio-thraphy lab for exercise twice a day for next three days.

    In presence of doctor and I, Physiotherapist exercising great care and support, made you gently take baby steps from room to other end of the lobby and return. Though it was seemingly tough, yet you did manage to walk exercising will power for which you were known always. I remember your smile then, when orthopedist , I and spouse clapped or hands.

    Ma - For three weeks, your DIL and grand son and I were alternating as attendant in shifts running between home and hospital, moving up and down in lift numerous times to fetch medicine, food, juice etc.

    Your bosom friend’s daughter in New York was calling from her hospital at midnight when you were asleep. She enquired of your progress but promised to call again. While her remittance reached the hospital to your account, her call never came.

    But that was the night you frightened me in your mid sleep by throwing your legs & hands violently in air. You did utter my name repeatedly. For three more nights you continued to frighten me. Thank goodness. It later vanished.

    During their visit you regretted to my sambandhis ( parents of son-in-law) & son in law your inability to join in the celebration of impending (தலைதீபாவளி) Deepavali; and advised me the celebration should go on as per convention. But sambandhis keeping in view our plight, politely excused from celebrations.

    But on the day of Deepavali, an affectionate and loving Son in law called on us with your gran-daughter, and fed you in presence of spouse and dad with great patience in tiny quantities a whole of banana. It was well appreciated by our maid - domestic help. In a few days from then, you began turning cheerful strong in spirits but weak in flesh.

    Spouse draped you in you cotton maroon saree. She stuck on your centre forehead a medium size maroon sticker dot; and packed your medicine, dresses in carry bags. I settled hospital bill & Collected discharge certificate and receipts and brought home in an ambulance.

    While nurse Parvathi was whole time deputed to take care of you at our residence, we turned our attention to dad who was shaken with your and our all these days.

    With concern, you were discussing plans to celebrate dad’s centenary which was few months away. There were numerous friends and well wishers visited you & dad with basket of fruits and biscuits seeking your & dad’s well being & blessings.

    That night, Parvathy was looking after you & dad in downstairs, we left to upstairs to sleep. It was about to be dawn. Mobile rang. It was Parvathy. She shocked me announcing ma - you are no more”.

    Merry Christmas & Happy Holiday Season to all IL’ites.
     
    Last edited: Dec 26, 2019
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  2. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Thyagarajan Sir,

    Your love for your mother is overwhelming in every word in the snippet. Your mother should have been an exuberant individual with significant love emanating from her for everyone around her. Her will power and determination is impeccable to travel in a pot-holed road to reach out to someone she loves dearly. She must have thought expressing her pain to any of you would pain your heart and hence was reluctant to share her pain with any of you. It was nice of you and your wife to find her pain and move her to the hospital. Tripping and falling is a major cause of death for many adults. My mother tripped and fell when she was 80 years old and spent another 9 years bedridden in Chennai. My wife and I are constantly keeping an eye on my MIL who lives with us now to prevent her from falling.

    I was enjoying the boxing day test match last night played at MCG between Australia and New Zealand and today I read your tearful recall of losing your mother on a boxing day 10 years ago. The good thing is she is no longer having the pain she encountered briefly.
     
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  3. shyamala1234

    shyamala1234 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Thyagarajan sir,
    Memories of parents, however old they may be,are always with us....every small thing.
    Your mother had the privilege to be with you and your family during her last phase, which many parents do not have now a days. Reasons may be umpteen. You and your wife need not go through guilt trip of having not taken care of her.
    To me also July 20th and October 8th are special dates with lots and lots of memories.
    Syamala
     
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  4. SunPa

    SunPa Platinum IL'ite

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    @Thyagarajan sir, so beautifully written- your love and pain comes through .

    With my dad having had a similar hip replacement last year, it hit me hard.
     
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  5. Agatha83

    Agatha83 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Thyagarajan,

    It was with a lump in my throat that I went ahead reading your entire snippet.Your write up brought some sad and painful memories of my dear mother who passed away recently at the same age as your mom. Only difference was my mom was completely bedridden for 15 long years, due to repeated fractures in the hip bone, and was always adamant in not doing the exercises the physiotherapist prescribed.

    Whatever may be our parents age, their death is always a painful event. Now the time has come for us, to look upwards for a peaceful departure from this world!
    Wish you and your family a happy New Year!

    Agatha83
     
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  6. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Dear @Thyagarajan sir, beautifully expressed. No more words to say anything more.
     
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  7. Mistt

    Mistt IL Hall of Fame

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    @Thyagarajan Sir, your well detailed snippet shows your affection towards your mom and she always lives in your memories/thoughts. Some have fortunate to serve their parents when they really needed support of their offspring.
     
    Last edited: Dec 28, 2019
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  8. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello: Thanks for the adulation. Majority of world Mothers , I believe invariably support of her beloved children barring a few cases wherein other selfish factors come into play including a tad pillow talk.

    2. I am happy to not from my post you could correctly judge how social & hobnobbing with her large friends circle on which my Dady once quipped thus: “ your mom has too large a rich well to do informed friends who call on her here whereas my friends only come by foot or bicycle.

    3. She did not admit that she had fallen from a scooter when her friend it over a large pot hole filled flooded road. But when I met the shop-man happened to be at the spot, enquired I could guess that was That!

    4. When she cameto knowtherewas a large waiting list before I get my turn to get LPG gas connection, SHE SURRENDERD HERs and transferred it to erstwhile Bombay immediately after my wedding. She told me to sell her land to meet her medical expenses and strictly told me not to touch my or spouse savings.

    5. On a Republic Day, for no reason I had sharp pain in my right knee cap and could not go as attendant to her in hospital. She suggested that I should not get into further difficulties and rest but seek help of my bosom friend R to take care of her needs for half a day. R accompanied her in ambulance to home after her discharge.

    6. She remained enterprising and equipping me and my sister to learn skills such as riding tricycle & bicycle, tailoring, embroidery, short hand & typewriting ( Underwood & Godrej) - English, tuition to young ones, book binding, stringing flower, cooking lunch and making dough for chappathi/idli/dosa, uppuma, adai and vadai. And so on. She made my sister write service commission exam and R came to announce her selection and appointment in government job. She enjoyed dressing me and my sister when young in dance robes. Me and my sister used to take turns to give her massage for at least two decades Whenever she suffers from her regular migraine around her periods.

    7. I am sad to note your mom too had a fall and suffered for almost a decade. What a hellish time you must have had!

    8. When son in law called me downstairs to join him to watch in big tv screen in Sony channel “the boxing day test match” I remembered my late Ma and that is when this idea of writing this post crossed my mind. I politely excused and went ahead writing the post. I note now that KIWIS lost AUS thrashed them with huge win.
    Regards.

    God bestowed Mothers remained strong with stout heart and healthy mind though their flesh turned weak at fag end of their life.
     
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2019
  9. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:To spend future days in their sunset years in Chennai, my spouse & I along with son & daughter in Mumbai decided that I take voluntary retirement when three more service years left for Superannuation. We all enjoyed every day in the company of my dear parents for a decade plus.

    2. Till she was down with hip fracture, My mom took great thoughtful care of everyone at home besides giving useful nuggets of information on healthy foods and beverages.

    3. Tulasi and Kottamali-stem kashayam with leaves of Omam plant was her hand-remedy for all of us to boost our immune system.

    4. I wish you write and post here memories of your beloved parents for your brothers and sisters in IL.
    Thanks and Regards.

    God triggers memories of parents not only on their anniversaries but also when one does what they taught him or her.
     
  10. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi my dear madam Sister,
    Your jotting here reminded of what you had written in your FB in the thread

    Spouse & I With Dad - A Surgical Operation
    Quote
    Dear Thyagarajan,

    Imagine my plight - a lady of 70 years, having to take care of a 87 year old dementia patient, my mother, who refuses to take food, blabbers day in and ay out, soils her clothes, with absolutely no medical miracle, seem to work on her. Attenders just come in and are out the very next day- each day is a challenge to my mental faculties.
    kudos to both you and your BH for handling the situation with such grace, love and affection. No words can match your dedication.
    Agatha83,

    Agatha83, Jul 27, 2018
    Unquote
    I just recapitulated the turmoil you faced in a similar situation for 15 years and this FB in that post ibid was quite gripping and heart wrenching welling up eyes.
    Thanks for your nice words as always.

    Thanks and Regards.

    God is in every tear-drop
    .
     

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