Low sex drive after delivery..:

sex is not a desire but it is a need. why dont u ask ur husband to keep a maid for ur household things that may give u some releaf. so that u need not suffer in ur sex life. this will cause distance in ur relationship.
u cant avoid ur 3 months old baby as it is ur responsibility
so ask him to keep a maid so both of ur problems will be solved.

 

your marriage is your priority not household chores.Even though you can not higher maid ,i think you can outsource some of the task like bringing food once a week from out side.
Do you have microwave at home?Learn to use it.It reduces cooking time.
Make a timetable of whole day.Do lot of pre planning,preparations.Deciding what to cook ,what to wear,what to do when consumes lot of energy and time.Do it previous day.
That you will be able to take some rest and keep some time aside for husband.

 

This is good advice for the OP. However the part about not being attracted to her DH because of his attitude is also a valid complaint.
OP, you should try to communicate your needs and wants to your husband, and try to arrive at a mutual agreement. Otherwise the resentment this breeds can become very toxic. If you are able to go couples counseling may help.

 

Please go through Breastfeeding and Libido | HealthyWomen
and understand that low drive is normal for you.

 

Dear OP

You have a lot to handle, that too at this very crucial time. You have just delivered a baby, with absolutely no help. To top it up, your parents have created a huge tiff, that you are still facing the effects. You are in the process of seeking professional psychological help.

In addition to it, you go for vacations, invite friends over to your house and cook for them, learn to drive - that too from a bad instructor - your husband. These all can add more stress on a new mother who is already obsessed with her tiny new born and his/her activities. Further, it takes time for any normal woman to settle with her hormonal changes after delivery. So imbalance emotions are normal. Plus, with your unstable relationship with your parents and husband (I remember your husband being supper cleanliness freak thus causing issues between you guys).

Please allow your mind and body to settle. I would advice you to prioritize what is important and then plan ahead.

If I were you, I would get maximum help from my husband regarding household chores or hire help from outside (not really a maid, but as someone stated restaurant food or use n throw plates etc..etc..) to reduce my time at chores.
Then I would give utmost priority to my newborn, and then myself - because the newborn needs a stable mom.
So plenty of rest as possible ( I know it is next to impossible at this stage). Then give time to care yourself such as facials, spa. That relaxes your body and mind as well. That also heals you completely from your delivery as well as from the issues your mother created.

Let your husband care for the baby for sometimes, and take a walk or little exercise for yourself.

I know your husband doesn't help much. But I also know from your other posts that he cooks, and does some chores like cleaning. Also he takes time to teach you driving.

May I ask you to stop doing extra activities while you are still recovering both physically and mentally from this episode? I mean inviting friends for lunch/dinner, cooking for others, learning to drive with your phobia, and long vacations with a newborn are not easy even for normal people. You are a new mom with some issues. Please allow yourself some rest.

Continue to take the counselling or any professional help as suggested before.

You will be fine soon with your low sex drive. I think it is also a psychological issue for women, specially it coupled with your hormonal and physical imbalance in your case. It is understandable.

If your husband can't understand it, then let him masturbate or watch **** to release his stress. Don't interfere, but if possible give him a company.

I am sure, you will be alright with time.. That too when you start looking after yourself with less work and responsibilities at least during recovery phase.

Though I have support (mom stays with me), as a new mom I could never expect myself cooking for visitors all by myself while attending a newborn's need, and then plan a vacation and then learn to drive with a phobia simultaneously. You do all this in addition to your psychological hurt after your mother left you. Strange.

 

Dear,

baby by is only 3 months old, you are feeding him, and hence ur hormones will be different.and baby being small, his sleeping pattern will be different from adults.and your sleeping battery too will be as per baby's needs.

make your husband understand this.and get him involved in some household works.
spending time together doesn't mean to get intimate each time.

getting maid is tough outside India.

regards,
resmij

 

Op...agree with SGBV,Cut down on all unnecessary activities since you do not have help .
Get husband to do stuff that e likes.
Tell him calmly to come to bed with you if he wants intimacy ,,,or else don't disturb you while you sleep.

Don't worry too much. It takes time to get back regular intimate life. Things are never the same after baby. You both have to accept that you have moved from the honeymoon phase into a different but as pleasurable phase.

Try to enjoy the baby together ... it really helps in transition into this phase together .
Best Wishes.