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Love

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Sobhi, Apr 5, 2010.

  1. Sobhi

    Sobhi Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Ilite's

    Today through this post I would like to share my thoughts and views about being loved and loving someone.

    I would like to share a story of my friend with respect to this.

    My friend was a only daughter of her parents. Both the parents were working. Since both were working, they left her in her granny's house and she grew up between her uncle's and aunt's. Thier's was a sort of middle class family with enough for each one's food and clothing. No great luxuries. Both of her parents had a very tough/painful childhood. Since she grew up away from her parents, she missed thier love. Both her parents were introverts and didnot express their feelings outside.

    To her Dad money means security and thinks that people will respect him only if there is money. This girl was very good at her studies, her teachers loved her, she had many friends........ She gave many reasons to her parents to be happy and proud, but it was always observed that all this was not of importance to them.

    She was busy persuing her studies and career. Her parents always made her realise how important money is. How much they have spent on her education and so on..............She used to be upset when she saw a beautiful bonding between other parents and thier children. In her case it was just a give and take kind of a buisness relation.

    This girl got married to the person of her choice. They were in Love for few years before they got married. Marriage was altogether a different experience for the girl as she started to love her partner more than earlier and her expectations were also high as she found some to connect as her own.She is a very loving and caring girl. She has given always all that she has to the relationship. The guy was happy and took things for granted. He didnot feel any need to pamper this girl or express his love towards her.

    Slowly my friends heart is sinking and she trying to find answers to why this is happening to her. No amount of Money can buy us all these small happiness of caring for someone. She gets into depression now and then thinking that there is actually no one that she can call her own and the one who can love her unconditionally.

    No amount of money can buy us back the beautiful childhood days. The pampering that each kid deserves , the love each kid deserves.

    Her parents acted as such I guess because thier upbrining was that way. May be they had seen more tougher times earlier that they thought the situation that thier daughter is today is a really a very good one. May be thier parents did not express thier feelings to them.

    We dont know how many people at our homes and outside need our love. A word or two of caring and sympathy. Lets make a conscious decision to spread LOVE evrywhere. We dont know how many hearts are aching with the need to be loved unable to express outwardly.

    A soft gentle touch, a smile , a hug can change the much more than we can imagine.

    regards
    Shobha
     
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  2. Arunarc

    Arunarc Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hello Shobha
    A very beautiful one on Love.
    As your friend did not get the love that she has to get from them so she had expected a lot from her husband, there are many in the world who take this for granted.
    From the very childhood she was trying to get that loving bond which she was disappointed everytime.
    You are right dear no money can bring back our childhooh nor can it buy love for anyone it has to come from within us.
    A smile makes great wonders in someones life, sometimes it changes the other persons whole life. It doesn't cost much so keep smiling and be kind to others. These people are not asking anything more just a bit of love from us.
     
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2010
  3. shreyashreyas

    shreyashreyas Gold IL'ite

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    Sobhi... your friend is truly a gem, i think she has to talk to her husband frankly.... and things will get sorted out.....

    Yes, we feel bad when people doesnot recognize our love for them..... it happens to all of us some times....


    Sandhya
     
  4. Sobhi

    Sobhi Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Aruna

    Thanks for coming in sharing your views.
    What I have observed personally in my friends case and even in other cases, sometimes not being loved makes one rude.

    When these sort of people talk to others, they are very frank and direct even to the extent that we may hurt others badly.

    But this is not thier fault. Since no one earlier were sensitive to thier needs they see life as very much black and white. No intermediate state.

    Hence when they speak, they are very straight and blunt.

    regards
    Shobha

     
  5. Sobhi

    Sobhi Senior IL'ite

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    Thanks sandhya for dropping in.

    Sometimes is fine , not always.

    Especially for parents it very necessary to provide thier kids with a caring and loving environment. Else it may completely ruin someone's life . People may even get some kind of personality disorders.

    regards
    Shobha

     
  6. Padmasrinivas

    Padmasrinivas Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Shobha,

    A lovely post, dear...

    Love for one's children is so natural, we cannot even fathom how and where it springs from, it just happens, right from the time we hold the little one in our arms for the first time...

    Some people are able to show their love very spontaneously while others find it really difficult to express the love they may feel inside. There may be a psychological reason or block that makes the parents feel insensitive or hardened towards one's child. Such a pity because this affects the child who may develop a sort of inferiority complex...

    Your friend's husband also seems to be quite insensitive to her love and affection... maybe she should express her feelings to him and make him aware of the lack of love from her parents...

    Just my two cents...

    Love,
    Padma
     
  7. Amma15

    Amma15 Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Sobhi,

    Lovely post. Yes, its just a little bit of love that everyone longs for .

    Its obvious your friend is longing to be loved by the people she loves most.
    Dont be too harsh on her parents. They do love her - its just that they express it differently. And her husband - maybe he wants her to make the first move. All successful relationships need to be worked on dear. And in my opinion ONLY a mother's love for her children is unconditional.

    Love,
    Usha
     
  8. mithy232

    mithy232 Silver IL'ite

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    Sobhi,

    Well said!!! :clap

    IMO Love has VALUE only when EXPRESSED.

    I missed all those pampering in my childhood days. Now I am an adult, I am not supposed to expect. Gone are those days.

    As you said, a hug would do lot of changes in one's life. :)
     
  9. Tubelight

    Tubelight Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi !
    A lovely post. It left a twinge in the heart.

    Its terrible when parents cannot make a child feel secure and loved.

    Many people are undemonstrative, they just cannot make outward show of love and affection, perhaps they are scared of rejection or think it would look "foolish" to "act lovey dovey". You know our 'traditional' minded society ! The only way to counter it is by showing a great deal of affection for such reserved persons, though this is easier said than done.

    A soft gentle touch, a smile , a hug can change the much more than we can imagine
    Lovely expression, dear.
     
  10. ganges

    ganges Gold IL'ite

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    dear shoba

    a lovely write up. I feel sorry for your friend. It is very true that in the race, we are becoming totally mechanical. returning very tired from the office some time we tried to avoid talking to the friends on the way. Reaching home also we will be tired to talk to the elders who are all alone at home. Small gesture of understanding their feelings by asking the days happenings, how they feel, whether they had food will make wonder in them and to us also. every one should read your thread I feel.

    thank you dear.


    ganges
     

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