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Love Marrriage gone wrong.....Share Experiences please

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by perplexed, May 25, 2013.

  1. perplexed

    perplexed Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Friends

    I am in a pretty screwed up state of mind right now. Some of you know my story, I had a love marriage and started having issues in marriage right from get go.

    It has been 4years and we just got separated. Trying temporary separation to see if things can be turned around , will be heading to file divorse if things dont change. I am pretty shaken up, confused......Still love him but he never gave me support and was easily brain washed for almost anything and everything by his parents.

    I would like to know of your experiences in love marriages that led to divorse. I feel like such a fool and so ashamed .....I dated him for 3 long years and yet could not see the true side. I feel myself incapable of taking any decision in life and full of self doubt. I need some direction, some help...thanks for listening to my rants
     
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  2. Scorpio111

    Scorpio111 New IL'ite

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    Well I cant do an apple to apple comparison but I think it has got to do with the fact that people change over time. Also has got to do with how granted someone takes you. True love is where you forgive, forget and move on with all that behind. If either one in a relationship cannot think about how important that is when all the crap starts to get into.
     
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  3. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Hugs to you, Preplexed. I remember your older threads. It is not your fault, sweetheart. You have to give yourself credit for having questioned why you were not treated as you deserve and why you were lied to. You haven't lost your self respect completely despite your husband's efforts. Do stay strong dear.

    Whenever you get doubts, remember this. That is what abusers do to you. They make you trust, ensnare you, then chip away at your foundation and make you feel so bloody damn unsure of yourself. Usually, every time they realize that you are going out of their grasp, the charm will be turned on, reminders of beautiful times would be brought out, more false promises will be made, you will really want to stay. Once you are again caught deeply enough, the abuse will restart. Sadly that is the modus operandi according to experts.

    I really think you will benefit from counselling, my dear. It will help you become strong again. You are half way there, sweetie. Don't turn back and waste more time in this dead end marriage is my sincere advice... Easier said than done, I realize. Yet...

    Take care,
    G
     
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  4. peacetips

    peacetips Silver IL'ite

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    Marriages are marriages, love or arranged. Experiences differ, expectations differ, and outcomes differ. No guarantees.
    So pls think about your current situation (from your shoes) and asses what's best for your future.
     
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  5. sacredbell

    sacredbell Silver IL'ite

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    If you have no kids, then no need to waste your time and energy to a
    relationship which is not worth enough.

    Better late than never..Save your life..





     
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  6. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    If you are willing to give another try then change tactics as you still love him.
    Expecting DH to behave like a BF after marriage is fatal.
    If you still love him then no harm in trying again , with some relevant changes, it works sometimes.
    Don't bring ego into it, all is fair in love and war.
    He could be missing you too.
    If its about PILs , relatives then keep those issues on the back burner , not worth breaking your marriage for them.
    If its DV, abuse then drop him like a hot potato.
    Things do not change on their own , one has to initiate the changes and hope that DH meets you halfway.
     
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  7. nicegirlradhi

    nicegirlradhi Gold IL'ite

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    my only suggestion is, please dont beat yourself hard for others mistakes. So please stop thinking that you have taken wrong decision or not capable of taking correct decisions in life. No, its his fault to loose you and not yours
     

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