Love/Hate affairs with Arguments - Part I

Shanvy · Nov 3, 2008

“I love argument, I love debate. I don't expect anyone just to sit there and agree with me, that's not their job” said the Iron lady Margaret Thatcher. I do fall under the same category. I think I fell in love with them at school when I started arguing about the actual the interpretations of a poem. (Boy! Surely miss them…)

Take for example during a telephone conversation with veda some time back, I had heated arguments, about the dollar touching rs.50 so strongly it turned into a bet I won as you all know rs traded at 50 against the dollar…Big Laugh:thumbsup. Have arguments with my friends about schools, real estate , media exploitations or what not…

Some people tend to think arguments are nothing but their prejudice put across in a new way., thus they think the arguments are worthless, pointless. I don’t like the some of the synomyns that dictionaries give for arguments (wiles??).

I feel arguments are necessary. They are not just a set of views to oppose some other set. They are an attempt at supporting the certain set of views. Thus they show you different views which may be better than the original. It is constructive thinking in good form with different views pooled in…

Arguments are always happening at the court, parliaments, debates , talk shows (I some how love them. maybe I should call them debate, no yaar, these days they don’t much resemble debate unless it is between 1 or 2 people..) and they are aptly named THE BIG FIGHT, THE BIG ARGUMENT.

But apart from all these, there are the ones that are important to me now. The ones that I call educative and arguments in relationships.

Well when I say arguments in education, I never mean it in the sense of academics though it is. It is part of everyday learning, you learn to argue to come to a understanding about certain issues.

When you argue on the share market fall, whether it was by short term traders or because of global meltdown I am learning more on the same from others..

When I try to tell my son, that he has to learn to touch his nose from all direction, without relying on one direction…ofcourse this argument was to tell him that he has to be able to answer a question however asked on a particular topic, without roting… and you should have been present when we had the arguments….but ultimately convinced him that learning to touch the nose from all alternatives will be useful in the long run…:coffee.

I did have great arguments of the BIG BANG theory with my neighbour uncle, he really helps me analyse a lot about the pros and cons, and also the effects of the hyper active, over active media .

But when you enter a argument should be prepared to give the other person, a small gap so that he can leave the argument without being embarrassed if he is proven wrong…after all arguments are for learning according to me, when it is about subjects around…

But there are people, who don't stop at flaunting there superiority over others and try to snub..that is when i start hating the concept of arguments.

Again cannot say that these few negatives can make me hate them completely.

Abraham Lincoln said “When I'm getting ready to reason with a man, I spend one-third of my time thinking about myself and what I am going to say -- and two-thirds thinking about him and what he is going to say.”

That is exactly what happens when you are arguing for a cause and a reason…Arguments can be invigorating if you are up to it.

Will come back about arguments in relationship in the next part…but what do you all think about educative arguments or should I call them debates diplomatically ?..

Argument starts …

Sriniketan · Nov 3, 2008

Shanthi,
I totally accept your views without any argument..( I think you don't like this statement) haha...
It is true that arguements give us an extra angle to look out things in a different manner, as you pointed out to your son.. like touching the nose in different directions..

on a lighter note,
I like to argue if the other person likes to listen and not question me..heehe.
this is not the case with my children, nowadays..haha..

sriniketan

spandhana · Nov 4, 2008

i do agree with ur points.

"Discussion is an exchange of knowledge and argument is an exhcnage of ignorance"
an argument wud definitely start with someones ignorance,an animated discussion on the subject wud be gud and sometimes we may end up discovering our fallacy too.

I liked ur teaching principle to ur son abt nose.There are quite some circumstances in which many point us that we should directly touch our nose and also make laughs at pointing it all the way round but it helps us a new way of exploring things.

enjoyed ur post.keep posting.......

Regards,
Spandhana

Mindian · Nov 4, 2008

dear shanvy,
lovely post...i wish u meet my dh one day and u can have a long argument..sorry debate on any issue..he too just loves it and believes that it is healthy for an all round developement...t....i am very bad at it though..i tend to get emotional and then raise my voice slowly and then immediately if he laughs at me saying that i am loosing out...so i have decided that I am not one for "healthy discussions" as he calls it...
Mindi

Malathijagan · Nov 4, 2008

Shanthi,
This is a nice topic you have started on. Arguments are necessary for healthy relationships to be sustained. As you said it is a learning process too. I too love arguments as long as it is not dampened by some negative elements.
Waiting for the 2nd part.
Love,
Malathi

mithila kannan · Nov 4, 2008

My dear Shanthi,
Healthy arguments are so necessary for lively environment be it home,be it a club r be at office lunch hour.
When w argue about an issue it is better that the group is of like minded people,they need not necessarily agree with ach other,but each one should understand that that it is not a fight,there is nothing personal about it,and that it is only an argument or debate or whatever you call it.
Arguments on vaious issues are good in the drawing room of a home where there are young children,they learn a lot and they grow up with healthy respect for others' points of view in any matter in their future and they learn to analyse any issue.

Thats a nice topic.Looking forward to the part-2 of the essay.
love
MK

Nivedi · Nov 4, 2008

Shanthi,

I feel arguments are not always necessary. When someone is telling me about their problem, I feel best not to argue and undermine their problem. Just lend my ear and keep quiet.

If I need to defend myself, then I feel it is necessary to argue.

Anandchitra · Nov 5, 2008

Shanthi you always bring forth interesting topics that are useful and also make me think. I think though its interesting and some cases stimulating the mind as well but not worth it. And at home we have reached a point where we just share our opinions and views and are comfortable with differing opinions. Waiting for the continuation!

Jananikrithsan · Nov 5, 2008

Dear Shanthi,
Arguements shud not be just for the sake of it. There are many who do not have a point but will not let you think/ talk in peace. As long as you are able to maintain sanity being different a home and ouside then debates are the spice in the daily routine in life.
When you know that they opponent, referred only because they are with a diff view, is someone who will listen then you can make them see reason. Thou we are husband and wife or friends learn to live with their views. Waiting for the next part!!

Devika Menon · Nov 5, 2008

Dear Shan buddy,

Good to see you back) aapke aathe hi yahan ki shaan badthi hain!!

Shan I think that agreeing to disagree should be taken with the right spirit.The problems occur when the three letter, EGO, world keeps whispering about the victory factor.
Very often we find what started of as a healthy discussion or debate ended up as a terrible argument.
I think a good level of maturity will help resolve matter without getting into unwanted arguments .

Good blog Shan.Enjoyed reading it.

Love,
DM