Love and Marriage

To my regret I have to postpone my wedding with Vasily.

- Why?

- I marrying Peter now.
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A woman sees a lawyer about a divorce.
He asks, Any grounds?
Woman: yeah, about 2 acres.
Lawyer: Do you have a grudge ?
Woman: No, we have a carport.
Lawyer: Does your husband beat you up in the morning ?
Woman: No, I get up before him.
Agitated lawyer: Well, do you or don't you want a divorce ?
Woman: No, my husband wants it... he claims he can't communicate with me!
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My friend wanted a boat more than anything.
His wife kept refusing, but he bought one anyway. 'I'll tell you what,' he told her. 'In the spirit of compromise, why don't you name the boat?'
Being a good sport, she accepted.
When her husband went to the dock for his maiden voyage, this is the name he saw painted on the side:
'For Sale.'
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At a party, one woman asked another, 'Are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?' The other woman said, 'Yes,I am. But I married the wrong man.'
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For their anniversary, a couple went out for a romantic dinner. Their teenage daughters said they would fix a dessert and leave it waiting.
When they got home, they saw that the dining room table was beautifully set with china, crystal and candles, and there was a note that read: 'Your dessert is in the refrigerator. We are staying with friends, so go ahead and do something we wouldn't do!'
'I suppose,' the husband responded, 'we could clean the house.'