1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Loud Friend(s) And Restaurant

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by Rihana, Feb 27, 2020.

  1. Rihana

    Rihana Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    9,942
    Likes Received:
    24,624
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    If the loud party is at another table in a restaurant, we can say ssshhh, ask the waiter to talk to the loud people, ask for a different table, leave the restaurant if not yet ordered the food, or just grin and bear it as it is just a matter of one meal.

    What if the loud person is your friend and you are together at a table?

    I have one dear friend who speaks quite loudly. It usually doesn't bother me but sometimes we meet after weeks and are talking a bit personal stuff or contentious topics, and feels awkward that the other tables folks can hear it clearly. If it is an Indian restaurant, the awkwardness gets squared. : ) I sometimes look around and tell her "let's keep it down", but, rarely as I care more about our talk session.

    Another friend is a guy with a carrying voice. When we meet as a group of 4-6, his voice can be heard all over the restaurant. This feels odd but less so, as we are a group, and topics are not that personal. He is a funny guy and at home parties he holds court over the entire group.

    What can one do if a friend(s) has a loud voice and meetings happen mostly at restaurants or coffee shops?
    .
     
    Amulet and deepthyanoop like this.
    Loading...

  2. Rihana

    Rihana Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    9,942
    Likes Received:
    24,624
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    Sometimes the restaurant itself is so noisy, we can barely hear ourselves. I have started to prefer such places.

    The most convenient place to meet is Starbucks but a loud voice and all those people working away at their laptops makes me cringe.

    Meeting at home is not preferred as there is family around, or inevitably the host gets busy with chai, snacks etc. Going for a walk is something I don't do with company other than family. The only time I walk with friends is after meeting at a restaurant. : )
     
    deepthyanoop likes this.
  3. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    366
    Likes Received:
    510
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    I might be hanging out with very quiet people. This is new for me Rihana!
     
    Rihana and deepthyanoop like this.
  4. MalStrom

    MalStrom Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,294
    Likes Received:
    4,019
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Just think that your table is providing free entertainment for others. As long as your own personal matters are not the topic of conversation though.
    On a more serious note though, hardly anyone is interested in what others are talking unless the subject matter is very, very juice. So I wouldn’t sweat it.
     
    Amica, Rihana and deepthyanoop like this.
  5. winterhue

    winterhue Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    64
    Likes Received:
    139
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Female
    Lol. This one pinched a nerve, because i AM that loud friend sometimes :) I dont "shout", but I generally AM really loud (have noticed people turning around to look at our table when I talk or laugh). To be completely honest, us loudspeakers have no idea we are being this loud. So it totally does not offend me when someone asks me to keep it down.
    But HOW it is said also matters. If you say " Shhhhh..the world can hear" and then smile, I will not be offended. But if you say sternly "can you keep it down??" I would be totally offended.
     
    Amica, Rihana and deepthyanoop like this.
  6. shravs3

    shravs3 Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    2,720
    Likes Received:
    5,120
    Trophy Points:
    425
    Gender:
    Female
    You may try meeting at Italian restaurants. I felt most of the Italian restaurants are loud restaurants and generally Italians are known for loud voices.

    Recently we had been to an Italian restaurant lol it was fun. Inspite of my loud noise sometimes my husband was not able to hear me :tearsofjoy::sweatsmile:
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2020
    Rihana likes this.
  7. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,155
    Likes Received:
    5,046
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    "Go placidly amid the noise and waste,
    And remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.
    Avoid quiet and passive persons, unless you are in need of sleep."
    Those lines were excerpted from Deteriorata, a spoof on Desiterata (things that are desired). In the latter, the spoofed lines say:
    "Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
    and remember what peace there may be in silence.
    Avoid loud and aggressive persons - they are vexations to the spirit
    ."

    It is your choice. The title of this post is a link to the complete Deteriorata, and Desiterata.
     
    Rihana likes this.
  8. deepthyanoop

    deepthyanoop Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    320
    Likes Received:
    326
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Nice thread Rihana :). I can be that loud friend :facepalm:. When in the peak of conversations, I can be louder more than I would like...Agree with MalStrom, as long as we are not discussing any juicy matters, it is fine I think. Till now nobody told me to keep it down other than some gentle Shhhh from my loved ones :)

    Yes,go to a usually busy noisy restaurants if you think that can be a problem :)
     
    Amica and Rihana like this.
  9. Rihana

    Rihana Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    9,942
    Likes Received:
    24,624
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    : ) Conversation matters are quite personal! If we go to the effort of meeting for lunch, all pending persnoal matters get talked about. And sometimes we also have a pre-made list we check on the phone, "Wait yaa there was one more thing I wanted to ask.." :grinning: And then she/I put on reading glasses to read the phone........ Oh the ignominy. :grinning:
    Yes, that's true. No one is interested. People are busy with their own phones or conversations. If there is silence at another table, that couple or group has bigger problems than trying to eavesdrop. : )

    I only worry a bit f we are talking about workplace politics or some thing like #MeToo, black lives matter, continuing consent. I am not keen that someone who overhears us come over to correct our opinions, and another person records it and it ends up on YouTube. I have pounds to lose before I feel comfortable about such video going viral. : )

    I have a few shhhh's I use and they work or I look around for a second. But mostly, I just change the topic or admire the paapad or french bread yet again.
     
    hermitcrab, Amica and MalStrom like this.
  10. Rihana

    Rihana Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    9,942
    Likes Received:
    24,624
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    Yeah, Italian and also Mexican places are quite noisy. I was reading that restaurants have gotten more noisy as architects are not designing them to be quiet any more due to changing conceptions of what makes a space seem upscale or luxurious:

    Amulet, you scared me out of my wits pretty much. : ) I was standing to a poster of Desiderta when I read this post. : ) No kidding.
     
    shravs3 and Amulet like this.

Share This Page