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Losing It Completely .

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Shreema86, Oct 10, 2017.

  1. Shreema86

    Shreema86 Platinum IL'ite

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    Thank you @BhumiBabe , I am thinking to go to a counsellor as well. But I think that while that will help, I have a long road ahead with tough decisions to make and I don't really have anyone whom I can rely on for strong emotional support . Have friends , but they are also busy with their lives.
     
  2. Shreema86

    Shreema86 Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes has always been this way. What's bothering me is that I am not happy in this marriage and want to end it , but feel the practicalities and family drama that will ensue will really be overwhelming . I feel all alone.
     
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  3. Shreema86

    Shreema86 Platinum IL'ite

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    Loyal was probably not the right word, devoted is more accurate. No , i don't think I can live like this forever , but I feel stuck. More than anything I feel guilty to leave my husband alone. I feel sorry for him
     
  4. Shreema86

    Shreema86 Platinum IL'ite

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    Thank you @ddreaam , husband doesn't talk about it at all, he pretends that nothing is wrong at all. Parents don't know , I find it very difficult to share things with them. Also don't want to share about husbands a sexuality , they might go around telling other family and I don't want my husband humiliated.
    I live in the Middle East. My company can sponsor my visa. I will have to find shared flats or something like that to stay separately.
     
  5. Shreema86

    Shreema86 Platinum IL'ite

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    Thank you for your kind words. I grew up in a very protective environment , this stepping out of comfort zone is really scary for me. I have to step out, just praying that I get that final push to leave.
     
  6. Shreema86

    Shreema86 Platinum IL'ite

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    Loyal as in dedicated, he will cook for me , make sure everything in my life runs smoothly etc.. I live in a city away from parents , if I would move out , I would definitely prefer to be in this city only as I have lived here for long and I am familiar with everything here plus my job and any potential job opportunities are here. I have gone on many trips , meditation retreats to clear my head and come to a decision . Every time I have been clear that I want to end this , but it's the practicalities of living alone without any support and probably hatred from mine and my husbands family that will come my way that is stopping me.
     
  7. Shreema86

    Shreema86 Platinum IL'ite

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    @Sweety82 i am unable to share this with either families , I just can't do it.
     
  8. blissofmylife

    blissofmylife Silver IL'ite

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    1. Do you guys share a good companionship despite the intimacy problem?
    2. Have you had a open discussion with your husband?

    When the time comes, the families will need to know. You have to at least, break the ice on your side.
     
  9. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Aim on achieving tangible short term and medium term goals. The satisfaction of achieving the first smallest one, will compound.

    Financial independence is very important. For any woman, in any marriage. Do what it takes to become financially secure and independent. It can take a year or two. Maybe three. Start now. Get additional skills or whatever it takes to earn more, to save more.

    Financial independence is not being currently earning or earning a lot. It is being able to support oneself if a marriage ends for whatever reason.

    Yes, you are in a tough spot with no real support of friends, family, co-worker and not doing as well in job as you'd like to. But, you have a roof over your head, a job, valid immigration status, an education, good health, are intelligent and articulate. Work on the financial independence. The rest will fall in place or at least become more bearable.
     
  10. prestine

    prestine Silver IL'ite

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    Does he feel sorry for you, that you ended up suffering this way? Is he feeling guilty for making you to go through this struggle? Does he protect you from the society, when they question about kids? However good he may be, HE CHEATED YOU. Your dreams were killed.

    He might be devoted, but he is compensating for the part you are missing. Don't feel guilty op, because it is not going to take you anywhere. Feel that you deserve everything that you are missing.

    Do you think living like this going to give you happiness? You guys will fight more and hate more. One fine day , someone is going to break this and fly. That is the reality.
     
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