Loosing My Mind

Ineedhelp1 · Nov 8, 2017

Trust me you can survive in US . at least you will get some mental peace. In India all the comments from in-laws and relatives, social pressure , job pressure. It will be hard to handle.

How old is your baby? There are options like day care, nanny etc. Start searching for job and be financially independent. Realize this is a phase and you can overcome it. Only you can! Once you have the job,it will be a boost in your self confidence. Do you know driving else learn driving.

First fix yourself, then your family. You can do it. Take one step at a time.

happyperson · Nov 8, 2017

Why did your ead become invalid. Once you have an EAD as H4 dependent (with H1 i140 approved) though he change jobs you should still be able to extend it. Get a job build your confidence, you are capable.

Think about the way you do things earlier.

Ciny · Nov 8, 2017

Archanaanchan said: ↑

Dear OP,

I personally feel that you should try for a job, i know its going to be tough with your daughter but that's even better than asking/relying on your husband for money. Get financially independent. If you are working on the software side you can take up courses currently on demand in market which would help you get a better pay. Once you are independent n earning some of your burden will lessen. Then think over how to tackle rest of the problems. I believe there are lot of suggestions/posts by the ladies here about the MIL and husband not treating well issues . You can just read through and see if some of the suggestions can help you sort things. Being strong in these situations is equally important. I hope you will have things sorted soon and i wish you you all the strength to get over your problems. Good luck
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Thanks for taking taking time to reply.

I tried my best to be financially independent. I took care of friends kids,worked as a recruiter for a friends company. I also did a course and did some certifications. I got a job in IT field too. But my husband was never happy. He used to pressurize me to ask for remote while I was working. Me being new to IT field that too working after 5 years who will give me remote? I could not continue job because of all the pressure and low self esteem. Although I worked for 6 months the salary was good. He did not let me open a new account and made sure to get paid into joint account. Every time i swiped my card he has to know about every purchase. He used to say its our money but it was never like this when it came to his salary. I lost my last hope until then i used to think that he will change once I start earning.It was as if I am paying back for giving me food and shelter.

I was always a very strong person. But now I am getting weak . Don't understand what I should be doing.

Ciny · Nov 8, 2017

Sunshine04 said: ↑

If u r really fed up of him or physical abuse starts divorce him and get child support from him
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It is only emotional and never physical

Ciny · Nov 8, 2017

GoneGirl said: ↑

You need to be financially independent, so get a job.. move to India if you cannot work in US. Or ask him to apply for your EAD if he wants you to stay in the US.
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If I go to India I will look for job. I have a EAD already. But with the current situation in US its getting difficult to get a job.

Rakhii · Nov 8, 2017

Ciny, one question to you. My response to your problem depends on this.

Are you willing to work on this relationship or are you already at a point where you do not want to live with him? Either way, I will support you and will be with you but you need to answer this.

Ciny · Nov 8, 2017

Sunshine04 said: ↑

Who is the sil to take decisions about your life.??..MIL you can adjust to a certain extent.
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Mil yes I agree can manage her .But SIL inter fearing i get irritated . After I gave birth to my daughter and was on hospital bed .My husband called his sister and was asking her suggestions to name my daughter.I got really mad but controlled my feelings.

Ciny · Nov 8, 2017

happyperson said: ↑

Why did your ead become invalid. Once you have an EAD as H4 dependent (with H1 i140 approved) though he change jobs you should still be able to extend it. Get a job build your confidence, you are capable.

Think about the way you do things earlier.
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It was 6 years ago and I was on L2 EAD that time.

Ciny · Nov 8, 2017

Ineedhelp1 said: ↑

Trust me you can survive in US . at least you will get some mental peace. In India all the comments from in-laws and relatives, social pressure , job pressure. It will be hard to handle.

How old is your baby? There are options like day care, nanny etc. Start searching for job and be financially independent. Realize this is a phase and you can overcome it. Only you can! Once you have the job,it will be a boost in your self confidence. Do you know driving else learn driving.

First fix yourself, then your family. You can do it. Take one step at a time.
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Yes I agree with you completely. I have other set of problems waiting for me after going to India. I have to go fix my dad and brother. Put some sense into their heads.

My daughter is 2 now. My husband wants me to look for IT job which has become very difficult now. I told I can even work in a call center and get $14/hr. But he says whatever I get will be sufficient to only pay for daycare/nanny.

Yes that's what I feel its a difficult phase.But my husband now showing any love and affection and the struggle my mother is going through is making me very sad.

happydheivanai · Nov 8, 2017

I feel very sad for ur situation...if ur husband is in h1b u can’t work here being alone will also make u depressed..

Don’t try for 2nd baby then u will b locked with this man.

Try to explain him what u feel ect after that also he is not changing means move back to India don’t depend on him put ur baby in play school and go to work.So that ur confidence will increase.

Don’t get divorce and let’s c what happens. Don’t opt for join family take separate house and go to job Baby is with u know automatically he will come to u.

Getting divorce is not a solution for everything.