looking advice from bold sis...for leading a bold life...

First try to come out of all the emotional stuff. Try to be strong. And see what is good for you and your family. When you expect things you land up in trouble. This trouble is nothing but emotional trouble. The moment you stop expecting you feel so relaxed. So leave everything leave all the thoughts which makes you feel sad. Try to take things on your own. And make it a practice. Take your kid to park dont ask your husband. Try to finish all the work when your kid is asleep and create time for yourself too. Nothing is impossible. I think you are very much sentimental. Thats good but try to be practical at times.

 

Hi,

Relax girl.. is your kid making you busy always.... enjoy this period with the kid...sort out issues one by one.. dont take all at one shot... as far as mother is concern.. can u change her... just its time for you to accept as she is..as far as hubby is concern take him to a good doctor get him treated...i think u can take the kid to nearby park enjoy with the kid and share this experience with your hubby in a nice sharing tone not complaining tone..just my 2 cents....hope this helps...
revathi

 

Hello Shiva,
Not just you , most women face these kind of issues.
My policy is to live life without depending much on others. I started doing it after having a kid and I did not have the patience to keep requesting my husband for taking DD out etc. So I finally started taking initiatives on these things.
I also keep telling few things which I expect from DH and one day he would start doing it (Not all but atleast something is better than nothing) . Though it is frustrating, we still need to it to manage lazy husband.

 

Try to put your kid in day care and go to work at least part time. You will feel good about yourself and make friends. You need not depend on your husband to make you happy. Start going out with your kid and enjoy yourself. Make frens with other mummies and go out with them.

 

Dear Shivagami,

First find job and arrange for day care for your DD.

What is your education qualification? have u ever worked ?

Making little money is not difficult in this world. Easiest thing is baby sitting. Contact any couple who want to have a person who can take care of their kids for 8-9 hrs. My mom used to baby sit for our neighbour kid. That was very easy as they dont have to travel and pick their son. Neighbour cooks and keeps the food inside fridge. Mom just have to heat it and that boy eat along with us.

My another aunty a housewife, wanted some extra money as her pocket money. She also did baby sit for our another family friends. This way working couple get safest place, family to take care of their child. And person who is baby sitting dont ahve to do anything but to have a extra child at home and company for your own child. This way you make money also.

Another thing I used to do was tuitions. Wnated to have little extra pocket money during my college days. I started taking home tuitions. i felt awkward to go their home so asked them to come over to my house. Used to make good rs3000 just for making 2 children (4th and 6th class) do their homework and making them understand concepts just for an hour a day.

Your DH have to be tested medically for prolonged headache.

Try to be happy and show that you are happy without him. Go out with your DD to a park, mall, window shopping and even grovery shopping. Once you start making money and deciding to spend on yourself will give you lot of confidence. Buy things which you always wanted to buy. A better sofa, TV, dressing table, bigger teddy for DD, baby laptop. Whenever you will see that you will be encouraged to do more.

Once you realise your value, once you show your value then only your H will understand you and will respect you.

Dont stress yourself thinking changing your parents. Your mom is happy with ur dad then why u take tension.

Go step by step. Everything will be alright. And of course Prayers to god is the best thing you can do.

God bless you.

 

How old is your kid? In some situations leaving behind the kid and working is better.If your kid is above 1 year i think you should start looking for a job or do something that is beneficial for you in any aspect.If your kid is very small, you can hire a baby-sitter for 2hrs or so and learn something which you enjoy,this way you will meet people and make friends and have a life outside the home.This is a common problem, but if your husband is very adament and not willing to do anything about his health, start working and push him to visit doc.If money wasnt a big issue, after im done with persuasion,arguements, i would simply bring a doc home.