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Loo And Behold !

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Kamalji, Apr 2, 2010.

  1. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Loo And Behold !<?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = O />

    ( Ladies u can afford to skip this blog, for this is about Loo’s and u may not like it)


    DNA dated 31<SUP>st</SUP> March had this lovely article to send my grey cells ticking


    Time’s UP – <?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = ST1 /><ST1:pLACE w:st="on"><ST1:COUNTRY-REGION w:st="on">UK</ST1:COUNTRY-REGION></ST1:pLACE> sets alarm for using Loo


    [​IMG]




    Just imagine a poor chap sitting and doing the big job, and the lights go off after 10 minutes. Well, all he has to do , is remember, where the toilet roll is, and where the wash basin is, simple. And better still , if the time is up, why cant the person install another coin, so that he gets 10 more minutes to finish what he was doing !


    I guess this is smiliar to the IPL matches. IPL captains are penalized for doing their job slowly and taking more time, and the British are copying us, and now penalizing people for doing the loo job slowly !!!


    The better penalty would be, as the time is up, let the toilet roll disappear in the wall, and the water tap dry up !!! Now the guy is penalized by putting in say 5 pounds, so these two things reappear, and if he does not hve the money, the door to be opened automatically for him to walk out halfway as he is !!!


    A few bloggers have told me, that they don’t like my potty blogs. They say these are private matters, and best left in the loo. I agree, but the newspapers don’t, and they do bring about these topics in some form or the other, so I can help giggling and blogging on it again and again.




    This timer \thing of <ST1:COUNTRY-REGION w:st="on">UK</ST1:COUNTRY-REGION> is more decent than the <ST1:COUNTRY-REGION w:st="on"><ST1:pLACE w:st="on">Thailand</ST1:pLACE></ST1:COUNTRY-REGION> one.Seems there u have the pay and use Loo’s , very popular. Put in a coin and go in. After a while, as the time is up, forget the lights going off, the door opens , and u are seen by others waiting outside for their turn.


    This toilet during the millennium in <ST1:CITY w:st="on"><ST1:pLACE w:st="on">London</ST1:pLACE></ST1:CITY> took the cake , bakery and all. They had a toilet installed right in the centre of a very busy pavement of <ST1:CITY w:st="on"><ST1:pLACE w:st="on">London</ST1:pLACE></ST1:CITY>, ( I have the clipping somewhere), full of glass, but from outside u cant see inside, but the inside guys doing their jobs could see outside.!!! This was some experiment they were conducting, but I must say, how must it be feeling, to be able to see everyone walk past u, while u are on the job ! Height of craziness .


    With the new toilets, where toilet, bath and basin are inside, a person going in, for one of the jobs, the others have to wait their turn. Previosly it was good, where the wash basin was outside, the toilet and bath areas too were separate, so 3 people could do their jobs simultaneously, which is not the case now. And in Mumbai, I have to wait my turn, for morning time everyone is leaving for their work, and to hold things is very difficult, specially after u have had a nice hot cuppa ! Jaipur I have more toilets than the number of members, so I take my own sweet time to do SSS, that is **** shave, and snaan .


    But I don’t understand, why do the Britishers need a public restroom to do the big job ? Don’t they have fixed times like us, for we may need to go for the pee,when outside but the big job? I have never felt the need, for my morning time is fixed, but these guys I guess just get up , wash their face , and just rush for their work, so they have to unload somewhere !

    As they say, For the guys who use the loo

    One time – are called Jogi
    Two times - Bhogi
    Three Times – Rogi


    KAMAL MAHTANI


    Lady to Lawyer – I want a divorce from, my husband
    Lawyer – But yr husband is a Kabadi Champion
    Lady – That is the problem Vakilsaab ! He just touches and runs away.



    Daadi Maa ko Geeta ka path karte hue dekh, pota apni Mummy se poocha
    “ Mummy, Daadi Maa kis exam ki Tayari kar rahi Hai ?
    Mummy – Final exam ki , Beta.




    Husband – What would u do if I won a lottery ?
    Wife – I would take half of it,and give u a divorce
    Husband – I have won 12 dollors, take 6, and give me divorce !!!


    Malik Naukar Se – Office ke saare machar mar do .
    Next day malik scolds the naukar, that there are still machars around
    Naukar – sir , these are the widows of the machars, wailing, what can I do !!!


     
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  2. natpudan

    natpudan Gold IL'ite

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    Kamalji inspite of your warnings still ladies would come here and leave their valuable comments.

    So better you don't give any more warnings. The warnings will be ashamed of themselves, like the guys in the loo when it opens after 10 minutes. :)

    One such is here in Doha in the corniche. I have heard but never been to see / use that. It's only for the mens toilet. There is no equal rights in this, that's bad no Kamalji? Now they are going to chase me out of this site.

    I may be called lunatic but Kamalji will be called LOOnatic.

    Kabaddi Champion is a touch & go humour.

    Enjoyed reading as ever.
     
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2010
  3. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Nats,

    thanks dear riend, yr comment is as good, and thanks for the lovely one.
    well i have to warn the ladies that this is a stinking blog.:biglaugh

    And i am forced to put the clipping for most wont beleive me otherwise.HAHA

    touch and go eh ! Good one.

    Regards

    kamal
     
  4. annavarapus

    annavarapus Senior IL'ite

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    Kamlaji, I like your posts ending with a note of humor.This post itself was so funny that I burst out laughing.The "Kabaddi" and the "Lottery" husbands are sure to make you fall out of the couch.

    On a different note I was thinking of such a rule to be imposed to my DH who happily passes away his time in the loo with his Laptop.I need to show this clipping to him for sure.Thanks for the attachment.

    Keep'em coming!No need of warnings Kamlaji,Ilites are going to enjoy this hilarious post.
     
  5. Soldier

    Soldier Gold IL'ite

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    Pranams to Kamalji!

    My what a hilarious post. Poor souls who have to face the punishment. Thank God we are India and we can take our sweet time. Sorry for entering here inspite of the warning. But myself along with Sudha my DD giggled to such an extent that eyes watered!!!!!. so I could not abstain from giving fb.

    Though I read both the post as well as your as usual *** jokes with katti in my hands (remember I had told you earlier). Jokes - Kabadi champion Sudh enjoyed so much, that when I told her all your threads have these kind of jokes, she's very smart - though does not enter IL she knows few persons here - you people who are my friends - so she went to profile page, view all threads by Kamalji and had a quick glance of all your jokes (though watchful that Dude (my DH) should not see her).

    I wanted to mail this to my son. He too reads all these with fun. He is of the kind who has to be punished:biglaughHe would tell me, Amma you have to enjoy each job that you do!!!!!!!! cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
     
  6. monifa13

    monifa13 Bronze IL'ite

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    Pranaam kamalji - Just because you give us all a warning do you think we will not read your post! No way Kamalji. Whatever you write we all will read it and give our fb too :biglaughI just loved your loo post and the jokes too..
     
  7. Amma15

    Amma15 Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Kamalji,

    I know this is " Entry Restricted ! Trespassers Will be Fined! " But I simply couldn't resist it.
    Are you by any chance moving to the UK to make your millions? Special Indian cuisine - guaranteed to empty bowels in 30seconds! Welcome to KAMALJI'S or are you patenting some NEW naturopathic laxative or purgative? Dont we have hundreds just in our garden? You can beat the British ! They wont be able to make their millions in the LOO.

    Enjoyed reading. Especially the IPL bit.

    Regards,
    Usha
     
  8. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Anna,

    Welcome to my blogs and sorry for the late reply.I did not expect much respnise to this post, as the subject was stinky.:rotflBut me being me, couldnt resist writing on it.

    Your husband takes the laptop to the bathroom.My my ! Ia m sure he loves the smell inside .HAHA.

    Yes do show him, and tell him that u will put a timer liock, so if he takes time, the door will open for all to see.HAHAHAHAHAHA

    REgards

    kamal
     
  9. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Mallika,

    ood u reminded me, somehow i forgot to give reply to this FB eh .How bad of me.Sorry.

    So i have two more fans, yr son and daughter.:rotflnice to know i can reach youngsster too, so that mean i am not old, neither are u.What is life, but fun each day.

    And yes in inda we can take our own time, no timers in our doors.But there are some guests who take so much time in the bathrooms, we wish we had the timers for them.HAHAHAHA

    Thanks for the lovely FB.Regards

    kamal
     
  10. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    DeaR Monifa,

    See the subject was such, i did nto wantto create a stink in indus, bit i couldnot help writing.

    thank u fopr the kind words, monifa, u mae me want to write again and again.

    Regards

    kamal
     

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