Living with an excessively Stubborn and short tempered taurean husband!

Dear Friends,

I have joined this blog as I am looking for friends with whom I can share my feelings and pain!! I am an Aquarian and my husband is a Taurus ! I never used to believe in astrology but now after going through the compatibility factor between us I feel that it identifies with what I am going through! We are married for ten years but right from the very beginning after marriage I could see that he use to pick fights with trivial issues and use to become aggressive if I expressed something different than his views or protested! He would stop talking to me for days, even weeks giving me the impression that I am as if an unwanted person in his life and he hardly cares for me. I belong to a conservative family and always tried to make him understand, plead or patch up to save our marriage! unfortunately now I feel, that has made him more dominant and stubborn in his attitude!! when we fight for any small reason I have seen he stops talking with me and if I try to communicate it further deteriorates the issue...when he is normal he behaves so well but he cannot tolerate if I argue with him for self defense or disagree with him!! he has made my life absolutely miserable!! I have a daughter and an ailing mother back in India and I am stressed out for all these!
I feel I am losing my confidence slowly. Recently we had a fight over a very small issue...I washed and packed his clothes that were lying scattered for months with the good intention of helping him but unfortunately my entire effort was misjudged and he initially started rebuking me to which I protested...and he couldn't stand it! Situation has become so ugly that the more I tried to pacify and explain him the more he was abusive and aggressive in his behavior! He is not talking to me for last two weeks and I feel completely shattered...whatever I try to tell him he twists the statements in such a manner to demean me and demoralise me and makes me feel low and shattered...I feel as if he is taking advantage of my weakness and trying to teach ma a lesson if I raise my voice!!
In front of his friends he pretends that we have a very good relationship. out of pain and suffering I shared my problem with one of my neighbor of which he came to know about and now he is behaving in an extremely adamant and abusive manner!! our child is suffering and I tried to make him understand that but in vain. He puts the blame entirely on my shoulder and agitates me more to which I react and then situation worsens! I want to improve my relation, tried all means but in vain...In front of outsiders he is so polished that no body will be able to make out how he is actually by nature...stubborn to the extent of infinity....
He doesn't like me talking my heart out to others and kind of behave as if he is the dictator of my existence....
If anyone has any suggestion that may work in fixing this please help.
I believe I have given him undue importance above everything in my life and he is taking full advantage of that. I am emotionally and mentally devastated and don't know how to overcome it!!

 

Dear Friends,
Thank you all for all your replies. I feel better after I could vent out my feelings to you all and from all your answers it feels that at last I have some supporting and understanding people who can feel my pain...
I have started ignoring him now and trying to be independent as much as I can. I used to be very judgmental about all my actions and sometimes used to think may be I have to be more patient and adjustable....I tried to avoid picking up fights but even that didn't help....He has stopped eating whatever I cook and I tried to request him and prevent him from worsening the situation keeping in view the mental agony of our daughter but he seems not to understand.....as many times I have gone to patch up, plead or make him understand he tried to put the entire blame on my shoulder....no logic works ....it seems he pretends to see what he wants to see and no one can convince him to compromise in that....I am shattered and feel there is nothing else I can do anymore....I have pleaded, cried and tried all means to make him understand but all these have made him more adamant over the years!! Its fine with him what I am going through but according to him you should not share it with others!! So far he is not physically abusive but whatever he says is terribly hurtful and pinching!! My in laws are also responsible for creating such problems in between us, but thankfully we don't live with them together...Now I don't think there is any influence any more (not sure of course) but he definitely has some preconceived ideas against me which spurts out when we argue during our fights.... I just want to end this stubborn nature of his once and for all....