Live & Love

Life is filled with relationships and therefore, it is imperative for us to learn how relationships work. Unless one is a recluse living and wandering in the mountains of Himalayas and the interaction is only to get food from the neighborhood, one needs to pay attention to the relationships. Some are unctuous, looking to benefit one way from a relationship while others are looking for mutual benefit. Rarely, one comes across someone who is selfless in a relationship.

Most importantly, no relationship should be built on a tremulous platform nor when moral turpitude is lacking in one’s character. If one does under this circumstance, umbrage begins to form in that relationship. If one is strategically placed in a position of power, name, or fame, one should watch for sycophants around him. The foundation for a relationship should be sublime and not subjugate one another. Both parties should enjoy the relationship and it should be serene. Subservient attitude does not work well in a relationship no matter where it stems from.

Communication in a relationship should be straightforward and succinct with no fear or ambiguity. There is nothing that should be considered sacrosanct in communication, and one should be ready to receive responses with an open mind. Reverence for one another’s views should be demonstrated in words. The discussions should neither be with excessive praise nor should undermine the wisdom of one another.

There are inevitable relationships due to marriage where one is forced to have a relationship with in-laws irrespective of whether it is conductive or cordial. Recently, there was a post that had over 17,000 views and over 80 responses discussing how to handle in-laws coming to stay over with a couple. On the contrary, there are mothers who are forced to stay with a son or daughter in a hostile environment resulting in them longing to be at an old age home. In every relationship, when one is dominant over the other, it boils down to the level of irreconcilable relationship with no scope to revive it. In a relationship when one of them prefers to be recalcitrant or rebuke the other, the relationship will never flourish. It often results in undermining relationships that person has with others.

When it is not propitious to improve such relationships, normally, the one affected should withdraw and find peace in solidarity than being confrontational. If one decides to confront, one should ensure that it is pragmatic to improve the relationship than to settle score. Complexity involved in such confrontation besides how it impacts other relationships should be evaluated before the confrontation.

If it results in a war of words, let it be for a major reason than for a trivial one. There must be a logical conclusion derived out of such war of words than worsening already bitter relationship. Sometimes, one makes the same mistake that one accuses the other, which should be strictly avoided. It is not important to be in a position of strength in a confrontation but achieving a level of peace and happiness after the confrontation is essential. The responses one receives from the other person should not drift the goal of achieving peace and happiness as at times, the confronted person may try to put words into the other person’s mouth to make it further contentious.

If the relationship is nefarious despite the past attempts to confront due to habitual negligence, one should realize that there is no point in confronting such person again. Winning an argument is never a solution but achieving peace and happiness is! No matter what, one’s personality should be luminous unaffected by such relationships. One should realize that relationships are part of life’s social requirements and to mutually help each other achieve happiness and peace in life. The processes that we use as part of establishing relationships is as important as the result of establishing relationships. Live and love should be the attitude in a relationship.

 

Dear Sabitha,

I am doing great and hope you and family are doing well as well.

First, my sincere thanks for responding to this otherwise orphaned snippet despite Grammarly did everything possible to stop you from responding. I see your point that relationships are complex as they are not black and white and there is no one solution fit for all in relationships.

Personally, my preference is to communicate well with an intent to improve the relationships as my conscience tells me. If it doesn't work out, so be it. Keeping the line of communication open is another major thing I do well. I have not written this snippet to give an impression, I have conquered all my relationships. Far from achieving that feet. I can't even have a good relationship with my own brother but when I decided to let that relationship go, I did it for a good solid and irreversible reason.

In IL, I had so many heated discussions with my best friends but never lost my friendship with them as I continue to communicate. I generally separate what is said by someone in a given circumstance separate from the base relationship I have with that person which allows me to communicate well with the person always in spite of differences.