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Light at the end of the tunnel

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by HappyGirl1, Sep 19, 2014.

  1. HappyGirl1

    HappyGirl1 Senior IL'ite

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    Hi,

    I am a constant reader of this forum and today i would life to share my story

    I was a happy child and had a normal childhood. My Parents were very protective since I am their only daughter. After I finished my college they were looking for groom for marriage. They found this person and thought he would be a good match for me. When they came to see me I sensed that there was something wrong with this person but everyone felt that the match was fine and started the proceedings for marriage. I told my parents that he is not looking right but since i was young that time my parents told that everything would be fine. Then the marriage was fixed and i was waiting he would call me to speak, but he did not call. Even after the engagement he did not call so I called him up and spoke to him.
    Every time when I spoke to him i found him to a complete mismatch or rather i couldn't understand him since he was not open and wouldn't speak much. His relatives would stay that he doesn't know anything and he is very innocent. The time between engagement and marriage went like this , he wouldn't even come and meet me even when we work in the same city.I would say this to my parents that there s something wrong with him and he doesnt seem normal but they would console me that he was brought up like that and everything will be fine after marriage. Like every south indian marriages they had demanded hefty dowry including car though he doesn't know to drive.

    Finally we were married, then slowly it dawned on me that this person has some mental problems. On the outside he would look normal naive but he was not mentally fine ,our marriage was not consummated since he din even touch me post marriage. Three months into the marriage i couldnt live with a person like this. It was starting to kill me from inside and I was angry on everybody for putting me into such situation . Then finally i decided i would not live with such a person and stayed in a hostel and started working. Everybody were shocked and started advising me that everything will be fine and that i should be adjusting and there were more pathetic husbands in this world and girls adjust. Even their family were able to brainwash my parents, my parents knew that they were at fault they feared what society will speak.This started afffecting their health and inturn everybody started blaming me that i was arrogant , i knew no family values since i was earning , i was in IT... blah blah. Two years of torture i finally got divorce by mutual consent but at the cost of my family's health , my mom became seriously ill, me being termed as divorcee, Losing my job due to the stress.

    After some six months my parents wanted to find matches for second marriage, i was not into it since i had a very bad experience i feared marriage but later on accepted. This time they were very careful in searching . They found a match and they came to visit us. I spoke to him for many days and felt we clicked and told yes. At first i did not judge him much and as the days progressed I slowly realised I found my soulmate. I am married to him and he gives me so much happiness , I am so contended in life now. Looking back I dont even remember that I was even married once. So what i would like to say to all ladies going through tough time
    Be Strong, Be Courageous, Take decison at the right tine..

    You will definetly find Light at the end of the Tunnel !!!!
     
    17 people like this.
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  2. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Congratulations Happy Girl!
     
    1 person likes this.
  3. dsmenon

    dsmenon Gold IL'ite

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    Way to go Happygirl! God Bless you!!
     
  4. deepv

    deepv Platinum IL'ite

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    Congratulations Happygirl!!! Wish you happy married life.
     
  5. DreamWorld

    DreamWorld Silver IL'ite

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    Congratulations HappyGirl...Good that you finally found your soulmate:thumbsup
     
  6. ammmullu

    ammmullu Gold IL'ite

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    Congratulations happy girl...god bless you
     
  7. CoolPie

    CoolPie Silver IL'ite

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    Congratulations. May you live long and happily with your dh and kids. God bless you.
     
  8. Grihani

    Grihani Gold IL'ite

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    Kudos to you brave lady. You are an inspiration to many. You listened to your gut feelings at least after marriage and acted upon it. :cool2: Wishing you a very happy married life. Your husband is lucky to have you.
     
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2014
  9. rachaputi

    rachaputi Platinum IL'ite

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    Congratulations. Its easy to say, be strong in hard phases, you did it. Brave lady..
     
  10. pear

    pear Gold IL'ite

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    Congrats champion ! its not easy to stand up against our own loved ones to attain our happiness.One of my cousins who got married to a gay had to fight this battle.All elders in the family found oneness with the boys family to explain to her that its not a big issue.But we youngsters in the family stood solid with her decision.Now she is happily married with 2 kids to a great guy.

    MAY GOD BLESS YOU
     

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