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Life is not a Dream

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by ains, Jul 24, 2012.

  1. ains

    ains New IL'ite

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    Should I say...I once liked it when he was posessive....but now I cant breath
    He stood by me through my infertility ,miscarriages.........i dont know why when he feels i am not worth it and says dont want my parents genes...how is it possible....
    He helped for my sister's marriage....but never once wished them...said that he threw money at beggers
    takes care of his mother,sister...almost supports entirely financial...............but cannot understand that I too will feel the same way about my parents
    Wants me to be independent....but hates if i want to contact anyone who is responsible for making me who I am today.
    Cannot thank anyone if we take their help...
    Cannot appreciate anyone.
    Very very selfish


    How can I think of these as positives when the behaviour changes when I am not earning.

    How can a person flip his sides ....
     
  2. ains

    ains New IL'ite

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    I know this and am not able to accept it...I cannot accept that he started drinking daily....watching ****.....lying..........when I confront his answers are all self -righteous...and blame me.
     
  3. ains

    ains New IL'ite

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    Inlaws are in his control...I know he does some stuff to show off his family...but I want to be free of the mental tension I dont think after 6 more years I will have any sweet memories.I think I will lose contact with my parents and people in my life before marriage.I dont have kids...but I suspect I am pregnant...I think bringing a kid to this world would be a big sin when we both ourselves are not good together.


    I dont know how to confront him and take back control of my life.I cant let him live my life.....I am sick of him day by day
     
  4. ains

    ains New IL'ite

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    I think I have everything for him...but I never get anything back....do you think its worth yearning for a persons love whole life....I would do that for a good person......i dont feel my husband is good....he has all criminal intentions.....sometimes i feel in anger he will murder me.
     
  5. Foundlove

    Foundlove Gold IL'ite

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    Dear OP,
    If you are in fear of your life then u need to think about separation immediately. Stay away from him and think about your options. If he is so bad that u did not have 1 good thing to talk about him then u need to seriously think about this marriage.

    Is there a friends place or relatives u can be with for some time. U need to separate first and think clearly. Don't take decision for divorce in haste.
     
  6. GodIsOne

    GodIsOne Gold IL'ite

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    Seperation is not an answer always but in your case I think it is the ONLY option. From what I read I get two points strong. One, He is a very bad person and 2. You absolutely hate him. There is no point in living a life like that.

    If you are pregnant, please do think through before you consider abortion. Proceed with it only if you are absolutely sure and you dont think you will regret that decision.
     
  7. SreeSri

    SreeSri Gold IL'ite

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    Without knowing THESE facts(and there may be more...).. I thought your dreams are above the normal, but I can see that they are PRETTY NORMAL expectations.
    This is the place and situation where the SELF DEPENDENCY, SELF RESPECT plays a major role(for every one but for Females more...)..
    If you are self dependent, get on your feet and kick his yass real hard and tell them to live with his OWN issues. Let him learn the need for you and for a family. Find a job(if you are not employed already), live yourself. Before doing this, make it VERY clear with a list of things that he needs to fix in him before contacting you further..
    Dont ever show that you need him or your weak points.... if there are any... hide then in you.
    In case if he drinks more after you have left him, let him die.. Marriage is expected to be between two, not from one to the the OTHER ONLY..
    Keep your list of orders for him as (1) Lying (2) Drinking (3) ****.. etc.. if he is able to fix at least few from the starting.. keep giving him SOME HOPE to get back to you.

    If you are totally cant live without him(not emotionally, but financially and other aspects), you have to fix him by compromising your self respect.
    (I know its easy to say, but you have no options ahead)
     
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  8. ains

    ains New IL'ite

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    I was trying to find a lawyer here in USA before doing anything....but I think I am confused as to where to start.
    Should I involve my parents?I dont know what will be consequenses.
     
  9. ains

    ains New IL'ite

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    Should i drop the baby or bring him to the world and let him suffer with monster parents....
     
  10. queenie29

    queenie29 Silver IL'ite

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    Firstly, you should think about you both and whether you both are having a healthy married life.

    If at all that answer is NO, then i don't think its a good idea to bring a new life into your family as it would only mean that the kid will have a lot of bad things to deal with in life. Its my opinion though.

    When we cant handle our lives properly then we dont have any right to bring another life and give them a messed up life too. We wont be doing justice to our kid then - Am I not right?

    Its your decision though, think and act.

     

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